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Friday, November 25, 2005

New Ontario Vineyard Village Association Press Release, November 25 2005 


Proposed Solution Will Preserve Northeast Ontario

GUASTI, CA – November 25 2005 - In an unprecedented move, the Ontario Vineyard Village Association (OVVA) has proposed a revolutionary idea to reduce pollution concerns - not only in northeast Ontario, California, but throughout the entire city.

According to Ontario Emperor, newly-appointed Second Vice President of the Association, "While other organizations engage in ineffective tactics, such as trying to keep Wal-Mart out of northwest Ontario, California, the Ontario Vineyard Village Association continues to advocate true solutions to the problems facing our city. Despite harsh criticism (i.e., having been referred to as "idiots" at http://environmentalrepublican.blogspot.com/2005/11/kyoto-breathing-its-last-polluted.html), we shall continue to propose revolutionary solutions for our fair city."

Over the last month, OVVA has proposed several solutions:
  • We have called for a ban on businesses in the Fourth and Vineyard area.

  • We have proposed that winds come from the south (i.e. the cow country), rather than from the north, until toxic businesses go away.

  • We have proposed "the decommissioning of all roads within one mile of Fourth and Vineyard, including Fourth Street, Vineyard Avenue, and U.S. Interstate 10."

  • After some reconsideration, we have alternatively proposed to ban all fossil fuels.

Ontario Emperor was proud to announce OVVA's latest proposal:

"After extensive analysis, the Ontario Vineyard Village Association is proposing to couple our proposed ban on fossil fuels with a ban on all emissions of carbon dioxide throughout the city of Ontario.

"Naysayers have pointed out that carbon dioxide is emitted by humans, and that the proposed ban would be cumbersome to people living in the city, including the residents that are to benefit from OVVA's proposals. To those naysayers, I simply ask - are you willing to tolerate carbon dioxide emissions in your own home?"

As always, the OVVA will engage in vicious attacks on those who believe its solution is too extreme. "It’s for the children," said the Emperor in an insincerely emotional voice.

Ontario Vineyard Village Association
c/o KOER Synthetica Radio 87.1 MHz
1 Empire Way Suite 2525
Guasti, CA 91743


[OE UPDATE: Let me blind you with science here.]

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

I guess I'm not original. This is from the National Anxiety Center:

In June, a proposal for a tax on the flatulence released by New Zealand’s cattle and sheep was proposed. It would raise $4.9 million to fund research into ways of minimizing the impact it was claimed to have on the Earth’s climate. No doubt a ban on exhaling is next.
And here's this gem from the Natural Resources Defense Council:

Scientific evidence continues to accumulate that global warming is happening now and that we must act quickly to curb the emissions that are causing it. The Bush administration's failure to address emissions of carbon dioxide and other global warming pollutants is out of sync with scientific and economic reality.

The National Academy of Sciences, in a 2001 study requested by President Bush himself, found that emissions of carbon dioxide and other pollutants have already raised average worldwide temperatures by about 1 degree Fahrenheit over the last century....According to the administration's 2002 Climate Action Report, average U.S. temperatures could rise another 3 degrees to 9 degrees Fahrenheit by the end of the century -- with far-reaching effects....

If we don't want to reach levels that trigger irreversible damage, we must limit how much carbon emissions we put into the atmosphere over the next decades. So that gives us a choice: the more carbon pollution we put in the air now, the less we'll be able to put there later. Delaying action now will only force more rapid, and more expensive, reductions later. Unrestrained emissions growth is locking us into two bad choices -- either dangerously high carbon dioxide levels or crash reductions later....

Let me enlighten you, the Kyoto Protocols were flawed from the start, as are most international treaties.

The honest nations will play by the rules and dishinest one would not.

NZ, UK, Canada and the US know this. Even the biggest advocates are starting to see the immense shell game that is Kyoto.

As some one in the industry. it was evident from the beginning to me and others.
I guess I'm now the enlightened idiot. :)
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