Super Bowl 2005
Yes, I know I'm supposed to refer to the Super Bowl with Roman numerals, but then again, I'm not even supposed to refer to the Super Bowl at all in certain commercial contexts. Anyway, they hold these things every year (they held it last year, for example), and we are suitably impressed. Well, some of us prepare for the Super Bowl by learning to dance to the song "Love Shack." Others hang on to every pre-pre-pre game show. My thoughts ramble. Let's move on.

Opening caveat: I missed the first part of the game (and the first set of commercials) due to snow and a malfunctioning vacuum cleaner. Therefore, this review is not wonderfully thorough and comprehensive. But it beat's Howard Cosell's review.

The game. Everyone was convinced that the two week layoff would lead to a New England blowout. Didn't happen. The Eagles actually led at one point during the game, and who knows what would have happened if they had managed their time a bit better toward the end of the game. Even with the turnovers, it was relatively close.

The commercials. As I said last year:

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I was disappointed in the commercials, but probably because I have such high expectations. Every year I expect "1984." I never get it. Many of the commercials weren't even that entertaining....

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I mean, when the primary commercial pitchpersons are Gladys Knight and Dennis Rodman, am I supposed to be impressed? Rather than announcing a product that would completely change the world, the one product announcement of note was for a new kind of Budweiser beer. As Johnny Carson would have said, "Blimey." (Actually, he wouldn't have said that. Sorry.)

I missed the pre-game entertainment, so I can only report on the halftime entertainment. Based on the premise that Justin Timberlake's actions last year - oh wait, we're not supposed to blame the person that actually removed the clothes - based on the premise that Janet Jackson's actions last year got a lot of attention, Fox needed to come up with a topper. Ashlee Simpson and Michael Jackson were apparently unavailable, so they turned to Paul McCartney. Yes, said Fox, we will provide wholesome family entertainment. And the kids loved it. "We want California grass!" yelled the kids. "That man thought he was a woman," replied the others. "Live and let die!" yelled everyone. But NO EXPOSED BREASTS. Cool.