The Sunday Experiment
I was reading a blog a few days ago when I ran across the question:
Does anyone know, how do you know if you're an alcoholic?
This got me in a researching mode, and I found this link to a survey that purports to let you know if you're an alcoholic.
Are You An Alcoholic?
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as you can.
1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
4. Is drinking affecting your reputation?
5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?
6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare?
9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time of day?
11. Do you want a drink the next morning?
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?
16. Do you drink alone?
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking?
If you have answered YES to any one of the questions, there is a definite warning that you may be an alcoholic.
If you have answered YES to any two, the chances are that you are an alcoholic.
If you have answered YES to three or more, you are definitely an alcoholic.
(These questions were made up by Dr. Robert V. Seliger for use at John Hopkins University Hospital, Baltimore, MD, in deciding whether a patient is alcoholic.)
Copyright © Recovered Alcoholic Clergy Association, 2000
Perhaps it's just me, but this seemed like an EXTREMELY strict definition of alcoholism.
I posted a response to the original blogger, and said in part:
So I'm an alcoholic, based upon answers to 17 (an event that occurred about 25 years ago) and 16. I also have damaging addictions to coffee, Burger King sausage crossandwiches, and oxygen.
Tonight I got to thinking about the question today, and wondering what would happen if the questions were applied to another potential addiction, such as watching television. Remembering that all things can be damaging if not done in moderation, I decided to apply the questions to another potential addiction.
1. Do you lose time from work due to Bible reading?
Actually, I never have, though this is certainly possible.
2. Is Bible reading making your home life unhappy?
No, but this could certainly cause friction in non-Christian homes.
3. Do you read the Bible because you are shy with other people?
Probably not.
4. Is Bible reading affecting your reputation?
It hasn't in the last twenty five years.
5. Have you ever felt remorse after Bible reading?
Yes, when convicted. Note that I've answered one question with a Yes. Let's keep track of this, shall we?
6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of Bible reading?
No. I haven't bought the gold plated Bibles over the air for a $500 "donation."
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when Bible reading?
No, but certainly it could happen when you think about it.
8. Does your Bible reading make you careless of your family's welfare?
No, but assurance of eternal life could conceivably have that effect on someone.
9. Has your ambition decreased since Bible reading?
Actually, it hasn't. Changes to ambition, if any, vary widely. Some people do get less ambitious, others more so.
10. Do you crave a Bible read at a definite time of day?
No. Despite spending four years in an unofficial official InterVarsity affiliate, I never have really established a formal Quiet Time. (Reminds me of Amy Grant's reaction to people who follows all the Correct Things and have a Quiet Time - "Why not have a noisy time?" This is why many people think Amy Grant is going to Hell.)
11. Do you want a Bible read the next morning?
No, except sometimes on Sunday mornings before church.
12. Does Bible reading cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
Not really.
13. Has your efficiency decreased since Bible reading?
No.
14. Is Bible reading jeopardizing your job or business?
No.
15. Do you Bible reading to escape from worries or trouble?
Not really.
16. Do you read the Bible alone?
Almost always. Uh oh, there's two responses.
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of Bible reading?
No.
18. Has your physician ever treated you for Bible reading?
No. My physician's a practicing Roman Catholic (whatever that means; he's been practicing for a while, so I guess he's gotten it right by now).
19. Do you read the Bible to build up your self-confidence?
Sometimes, yes. Let's call this a yes and count it as the third response.
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of reading the Bible?
No. I don't live in China or Saudi Arabia.
Well, adding up the responses, I have three yes responses, which means I am definitely a Bible-aholic.
Well, some of you might have recognized the purpose of this exercise: if you were accused of being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?
In this case, the answer is Yes - if you use a very limited system. To be honest, I probably don't crack open the Bible as much as I should.
(Actually, Bible reading has nothing to do with Christianity, but that's a whole other topic.)
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