Fortune - more (and less) than a UNIX command
Horoscopes and psychic predictions and fortunes are the same thing to me, and have the same amount of relevance to reality. For example, J recently ruminated on the significance of this horoscope entry:
Whatever self-imposed rules have been preventing you from taking action, now it's time to move. You might seem like you're acting impulsively, but you've thought about this long and hard. Others could be surprised -- even shocked -- but this isn't your concern. You need only to pay attention to breaking away from negativity and moving toward your own destiny.
She read that, and immediately got to thinking.
I know- insane huh? How does that work? How do folks just come up with horoscopes? I've read mine pretty much everyday since I was 12. Not that I go by them all the time, but I keep it in the back of my mind, so that when something quirky happens, I can go "oooooh, I get it now!"
Of course, some baby seal clubbing idiot had to rain on her parade:
If you look at them objectively, horoscopes are written to vaguely that they can easily fit, or sorta fit, or kinda sorta fit, any real life situation. Probably about 100% of us are considering "taking action" about SOMETHING - relationships, work, self-improvement, stamp collecting, whatever. I pretty much ignore horoscopes...
Someone agreed:
Ummm horiscopes are kinda BS. Well not kinda they are BS. Dont put to much stock in em. They are a novelty at best. I would not base any decicion you make on them.
Then again we could all be wrong and the horiscopes hold the answers to all things...... that might explain why I have such bad luck with things =P.
Thats nice and vague, shoot i should write horiscopes.
As for psychic predictions, here's a list of failed psychic predictions for 2002:
[Gene] Emery said he looks for forecasts of truly unexpected events that only a psychic could foresee, not educated guesses from people who follow the entertainment industry.
The latest batch of predictions did not forecast the Florida election fiasco, Jimmy Carter winning the Nobel Peace Prize or the Maryland sniper case. Instead, the tabloid psychics were saying 2002 would be the year:
- Satan would be discovered working in a homeless shelter, reading to the blind and delivering Meals on Wheels.
- The Super Bowl would be cancelled after the first half because team owners would refuse to cough up an extra $10,000 for each player.
- A time tunnel would be created to allow people to make a one-way trip back into time. (A way to make the return trip is supposed to be discovered in 2006.)
The accuracy of the other tabloid forecasts made at the beginning can't be judged, Emery says, because the psychics never say when the predictions will come to pass.
For example, the "world's top psychics and seers" say in the Sun that Prince Charles will marry Camilla Parker-Bowles in a royal shotgun wedding, the U.S. capital will move to Wichita, a gorilla fluent in sign language will lead a new religion, Elvis will be found buried next to Princess Di, animal performances will be banned, and Dick Clark will become a much-lauded ballet dancer. But they don't say when.
That means Clark, Prince Charles and Parker-Bowles will have to die before it becomes certain that these 'psychics' were incorrect, according to Emery, saying that's a common technique used by psychics, astrologers and other seers. "They love it when you can't prove them wrong."
Emery said he does his annual tracking of the tabloids and their sometimes-silly predictions to give consumers a reality check and show them that psychics, when put to the test, can't live up to their claims.
Well, other than the royal shotgun wedding part, one of the predictions is scheduled to come true soon:
Queen Elizabeth is one of the hottest contenders for the best celebrity mother award this year after she hit headlines for refusing to attend the forthcoming wedding of Prince Charles to Camilla Parker-Bowles, Sky News reports....
"The big surprise is that for the first time in the competition's history, the general public is voting for the queen," a spokesperson for the event said.
"The queen, it seems, is winning over supporters for successfully dealing with all the trials and tribulations that having children entails, while continuing to manage her busy life. She is one of the top four contenders for the title."...
Royal shotgun wedding? Sounds like Mom would rather shoot the son for marrying in the first place.
Meanwhile, Tara Lynn Johnson continues her long-standing Fortune Cookie Friday tradition by posting this fortune:
:) You will take a chance in something in near future. :)
Can you say vague? Well, check out the horoscope for my dog:
You are a hopeless moron who will believe the most vague statements are directly relating to you. Tonight, you will see something. Tomorrow, you will see something. Love may or may not happen to you. Death will happen to you.
I am simply amazed at the accuracy of this prediction. But if you really want to see something, read about how a student (Neil Marshall) wrote something that sounded like Michel de Nostredame, but subsequently (specifically, after September 11, 2001) people assumed that it WAS written by Michel de Nostredame, and even added text to make it a better fit. Here's what the student originally wrote:
At this point I would like to introduce to you what I call the "Infinite Monkey's Principle." Let's say that I have aquired an infinite amount of monkeys and an infinite amount of typewritters or word processors (It doesn't matter). Of course, as far as we know that is impossible to do (Unless you buy factory direct from me--send 500 trillion dollars to me (gold bullion only, liquid assets are not negotiable) But I digress... If these Infinite Amount of Monkeys are allowed to bang out whatever they want on the infinite typewriter, one of them will produce the complete works of Shakespear.
How? Simple if the Monkey's write random garbage but in an infinite amount, eventually because of the simple fact that it is inevitable (simple probability thought shows this).
How does this apply to Nostradamus? Well I will show you...
If I make say a thousand prophecies that are fairly abstract for example:
In the City of God there will be a great thunder, Two brothers torn apart by Chaos, while the fortress endures, the great leader will succumb
Well let us analyse this. For Example what does City of God mean? It could be Mecca, Medina, Rome, Jeruselum, Salt Lake City, or any holy city depending on your religion. What do I mean by thunder--a storm? War? EarthQuake? lots of stuff can be described by thunder. There are a lot of two brothers on this world (I think the Number runs among the Billions) and fortress edure's what--Besiegement, Famine, etc? What Great Leader? How will he succumb? To what?
Now let the prophecy rest for a few years. Add a couple thousand more. Eventually, one of them will fit close enought with events that have happened in the future that the prophecy will appear to come true. If you make enough prophecies and are intelligent enough to word them in such a way that they are abstract you become instant future see-er person. For example those psychics you see every year that make predictions for the year 199-whatever generally get one or two out of ten predictions right. It is because they are good guessers and that there is enough of them to make it seem like people can really predict the future.
Notice that Marshall didn't even mention "New York City" as a possible "city of God." Yet after September 11, 2001, the prophecy mutated into the following, supposedly written by Nostradamus in 1654 (even though he died in 1566):
In the year of the new century and nine months,
From the sky will come a great King of Terror.
The sky will burn at forty-five degrees.
Fire approaches the great new city
In the city of york there will be a great collapse,
2 twin brothers torn apart by chaos
while the fortress falls; the great leader will succumb;
third big war will begin when the big city is burning
All you have to do is add "Let's Roll" to the fake prophecy, plus something about a five-sided figure, and it would be perfect, wouldn't it?
OK, my next post is going to be a fake prophecy about Michael Jackson. Enjoy.
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