Reaching Bloatomania In More Ways Than One


The White Grizzly links to a Radar Online animated gif of Hollywood's favorite Xenusian couple.

Meanwhile, the Village Voice weighs in:


The ominous tagline in early trailers for the alien invasion blockbuster War of the Worlds was "They're Already Here"—but any learned Scientologist could have told you that long ago....


And non-religious stunts abound:


The French journalist wanted Tom Cruise to kiss her on national television.

Obviously a minor celebrity in her own country, the Parisian TV presenter used the most tedious of gimmicks to make sure her story made the evening news.

It was as trashy as it was excruciating and clearly, the American superstar didn't want to play ball.

His nervous laughter reached manic levels, but the annoying hack in front of me was not easily dismissed.

"Please Mr Cruise, if you kiss me today, I can die a happy la-dee," she purred, in the most affected French accent since that of the The Pink Panther's Inspector Clouseau.

Eager to regain control of the War Of The Worlds press conference as quickly as possible, Cruise turned to his right and said: "Well? What do you think?"

It was Katie Holmes who, within five minutes, would be known as fiancee Katie Holmes. But at this stage she was still the less bankable Katie Holmes.

The Batman Begins actress held out her hand, making it clear that that was the only part of the Frenchwoman's anatomy her Top Gun could touch.

"Okay, then," said Cruise, motioning the simpering journalist towards him.

He grabbed her hand, kissed it coldly, laughed unconvincingly and Ms Nobody floated back to her seat....



From the Ontario Empoblog

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