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Friday, March 24, 2006

Ontario Vineyard Village Association Press Release on Mexican Immigration 


Offers Only Real Solution to Mexican Immigration

GUASTI, CA and BARROW, AK – March 24 2006 - In an unprecedented move, the Ontario Vineyard Village Association (OVVA) has proposed a revolutionary idea to solve Mexican immigration issues.

According to Ontario Emperor, newly-appointed First Vice President of the Association, this proposal represents an unprecedented expansion of the scope of activities for the Association. Ontario Emperor states, “The Ontario Vineyard Village Association, unlike the Ontario Mountain Village Association, is not a single issue group. While the OMVA limits itself to banning Wal-Mart in northwest Ontario, California, but doesn’t address the problems caused by polluting firms in northeast Ontario, the OVVA has worked hard to address a variety of issues of major importance to the residents of Ontario.”

Recent proposals by the OVVA include:
  • The championing of a minimum wage of four dollars and fifty six cents a day to restore our economic health and to allow our businesses to be competitive with businesses in neighboring areas.

  • A proposal to ban all emissions of carbon dioxide throughout the city of Ontario.

  • A previous complementary proposal to ban use of all fossil fuels throughout the city of Ontario.

Because the OVVA has become expert in telling people in our own country what to do, the organization is now branching out and to tell people in other countries what to do, in accordance with modern neo-conservative views of right thinking.

As a first step in shaping the world that most of us live in, the Ontario Vineyard Village Association is calling for immediate relaxtion of Mexican immigration restrictions. Note that this is not a call for the U.S. government to relax restrictions on the immigration of Mexicans. Instead, it is a call for the Mexican government to relax restrictions on the immigration of Americans.

Specifically, the Ontario Vineyard Village Association is proposing the following:
  • Immediate removal of all anti-humanitarian barriers to entry to Mexico, including all fences, border guards, and similar restrictions on free movement.

  • Immediate repeal of all fascist land ownership restrictions that discriminate against people solely because of their undocumented status.

  • Free medical care for all undocumented immigrants.

  • Free education for all undocumented immigrants.

  • End of the racist language restrictions of the Mexican government, with immediate availability of all services in English and French.

  • End of the racist language restrictions of Mexican businesses, with immediate legalization of the use of English and French in all business transactions.

  • End of any voting restrictions that discriminate against undocumented immigrants, in order to preserve the human right of self-determination.

  • Driver’s licenses!

  • An immediate end to enforcement of unjust laws which deprive undocumented immigrants of human rights.

As always, the OVVA will engage in vicious attacks on those who believe its solution is too extreme. "It’s for the children," said the Emperor in an insincerely emotional voice.

Ontario Vineyard Village Association
c/o KOER Synthetica Radio 87.1 MHz
1 Empire Way Suite 2525
Guasti, CA 91743

Ontario Vineyard Village Association
200 La Jolla Street Suite 2525
Barrow, AK 99723


From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

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