I Gave You the Best Words of My Life
I never posted about Ashlee Simpson's appearance on SNL. I just read Tony Pierce's comments on Simpson's appearance and SNL in general, and was moved to offer the following comment:
If in some alternative universe NBC approached me and said, "We've fired Lorne Michaels, and we heard you did a couple of years of college radio, so we want you to produce SNL," here's what I'd do:
1. Can the cold opening. Go right to the intro to the show.
2. Said intro to the show would be the old classic "Saturday Night" by the Bay City Rollers, with a big picture of Howard Cosell. Yes, a tribute to the ORIGINAL Saturday Night Live.
3. Move the whole thing to Los Angeles (or perhaps Pomona) so that the show could be broadcast at 8:30 local time, when the performers and the audience were still awake.
4. Can the host's opening monologue unless the host is a comedian or someone who can actually deliver a monologue.
5. Grab a Weekend Update newscaster along the lines of Brad Hall - ah, I'll just get Brad Hall. All the real newscasters are 70 years old, so Hall would look young. Anyway, whoever I get, they wouldn't play yuk-yuk all the time - they'd appear to be a straight, serious newscaster, but they'd be reading really thought-provoking stuff.
6. And, just to throw a curve into the whole thing, choose Hillary Duff as my first host.
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