If you're going to be a bad writer, at least be original at it

February 24, 2006

Those of us who are bad writers have to work hard at it. It takes a lot of effort to come up with really bad stuff.

Of course, some choose to use a shortcut and steal bad stuff from others.

Consider the latest in the Lindsey Jacobellis saga.

Esteemed writer Ed Laubach, while writing for the Express-Times of Easton, Pennsylvania, came up with the following gem in his February 19 column(as noted here):

My personal Olympic moment so far, Dude, is Lindsey Jacobellis showboating to a silver medal in the snowboard cross. She could've had the steak but chose the hot dog.

Now that is a groaner. Steve Dilbeck may have been over the top, but at least you didn't want to bang your head against the wall after having read it.

Now why would you bang your head against the wall? Because the idea is so unoriginal. Look at the February 17 San Jose Mercury News' reprinting of a Fort Worth Star Telegram article by Gil Lebreton (as noted here):

Lindsey Jacobellis could have had the steak. Instead, she went for the hot dog.

Now I don't necessarily know if this is an example of plagiarism. It is, however, an example of "poor minds think alike."

Incidentally, back to Lebreton, who was able to uncover something that I hadn't known previously.

"I was in the last turn," said Frieden, "and I was already stoked for the silver. But at the same time, I was thinking, `Hey, you never know.' I learned that from experience myself with Lindsey in the X Games."

Frieden told a story about comfortably leading an X Games race, thinking gold medal, and standing up as she neared the finish.

"Lindsey was stalking behind me, and she ended up first," Frieden said.

When was that, somebody asked?

Jacobellis shrugged. "I've hit my head too many times (to remember)."

So let's see what I can learn from Ed Laubach:

Pardon my ignorance but when did women start playing hockey? 1990? It must've been exhibition....

And how about the U.S. men's hockey team's 3-3 opening tie with Latvia, a country the size of West Virginia, the sons of the Baltic, guys named Atvars, Artus, Arvids and Agris going even-Steven with millionaire American NHL players?...

I keep getting names confused: Evgeni Plushenko, Ben Agosto and Shane Victorino Johnny Weir, Joey Cheek and Al Roker Hannah Teter, Janet Jones and Katie Couric Bode, Ohno and Rufus.

He forgot Chaka Khan. But I'm sure that after forty years of writing you slow down a bit. Who knows - perhaps Laubach can't find his own parking space any more. (Explanation here.)