.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;} <$BlogRSDUrl$>




Ontario Empoblog

Ontario Emperor Blog
("yup, its random!")
This blog has been superseded by the mrontemp blog


Home
Archives

October 2003   November 2003   December 2003   January 2004   February 2004   March 2004   April 2004   May 2004   June 2004   July 2004   August 2004   September 2004   October 2004   November 2004   December 2004   January 2005   February 2005   March 2005   April 2005   May 2005   June 2005   July 2005   August 2005   September 2005   October 2005   November 2005   December 2005   January 2006   February 2006   March 2006   April 2006   May 2006   June 2006   July 2006   August 2006   September 2006   October 2006   November 2006   December 2006   January 2007   February 2007  


The Breast Cancer Site
Fund free mammograms at no cost to yourself by clicking on the link, then on the pink button.


Hall of Shame (NoteUnworthy Blog Posts)
Other Blogs (sorted regionally)
Ontario Emperor Selected del.icio.us Tags

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Listed on BlogShares

;

pkblogs.com


Who Links Here

Click for Ontario, California Forecast

Saturday, February 18, 2006

10 GOTO 20. 20 GOTO 20. 30 DANG. 


Where: Lowe's, 1659 W Foothill, Upland, CA 91786
When (GMT): Saturday, 18 February, 2006, 2320

Have you heard of Amazing Goop? It's a handy dandy contact adhesive & sealant that bonds whatever forever. There are Amazing Goop formulations for lawn & garden, household, plumbing, wood & furniture, and marine (no, not the soldiers).

But perhaps you're visiting a home improvement store and can't really understand much of what I'm saying here. Why? Because your native language is Spanish, and you have not become suitably proficient in English to understand complex marketing materials. Well, the Amazing Goop people are ready to help - their brochures are bilingual.

But perhaps their brochures need a little bit of help.

One side of the brochure is almost entirely in Spanish, and instead of referring to lawn & garden and the like, it refers to "Césped y jardín," "Hogar," "Plomería," "Madera y Muebles," and "Marina" (no, not the place where the Minnesota Vikings get ready to party). But, in case an Anglo looks at that side of the brochure, the following helpful information appears at the bottom:


Please see other side for English


So people like me who are Spanish-challenged will know to flip the brochure over to find something that we are capable of reading.

But what if it's the other way around, and a Spanish speaker grabs the English side of the brochure? Well, the Amazing Goopers are ready for that eventuality also...sort of. At the bottom of the English text, the following message appears:


Vea por favor otro lado para el inglés.


In other words, the Spanish-speaking readers of the English side of the brochure are being told to please view the other side for the...English text.

Oops.

But at least their English seems to be OK, so I visited their website (which has no Spanish text, by the way). While looking at the FAQs, I learned that there is something more powerful than Amazing Goop:


Don’t use Amazing Goop on your dry cleaning. The dry cleaning solvent breaks down the adhesive.


Lora isn't a fan:


I thought I was being all cute and resourceful by going out to my car and getting my wrench in order to open this stupid tube of "Amazing Goop", but it's still not working. Damn goop and its amazing-ness. Maybe pliers were a better idea. How is that a woman such as myself finds herself without duct tape? I can't believe I let this happen. Arg. Now I'll never fix this whole [sic] in my air mattress. (Yes, another hole. Also another air mattress.)


Lora, Lora, Lora. Did you send your air mattress to the dry cleaners? No haga eso.

Postscript to those who could decipher the title: I learned my BASIC programming back in the 1970s, and was surprised to learn by the late 1980s that line numbers were no longer required. So call me old fashioned.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Comments: Post a Comment


Links to this post:

Create a Link