Wow. I am disappointed.
You would think that with my repeated use of the term "baby seal clubbers," that I would appear near the top of a Google search for those words.
I didn't even make the top 30 (although my comment in DadTalk did).
So who was rated above me? Maxim, for one:
Thank you, LABOR UNION ABORTIONIST DRAG QUEENS/CORPORATE FAT-CAT BABY-SEAL CLUBBERS.
And a very special thank-you to our party sugar daddies, HOLLYWOOD SUCK-ASSES/BIG-TOBACCO BACK-SLAPPERS, for funding this expensive event. You won’t be forgotten.
It’s a real pleasure to be here at DEPRESSING FACTORY/DEPRESSING ARMY BASE, condescending to all you WORKING RABBLE/MILITARY DUDES.
I, JOHN KERRY/GEORGE BUSH, stand before you today, a candidate for the presidency of the United States of America....
If you elect me, I promise to BALANCE THE BUDGET/CUT TAXES and to HAND OUR NUTS TO EUROPE/INVADE EVERY COUNTRY THAT LOOKS AT US CROSSWISE. I also promise to bring STRENGTH AND INTEGRITY/INTEGRITY AND STRENGTH to the office of the president....
On the issue of WHATEVER PETTY MIDDLE-CLASS BELIEF YOU HOLD DEAR, I am 110 PERCENT FOR IT....
My opponent will say I’M A MASSACHUSETTS LIBERAL WHO WANTS TO TAX YOU TO DEATH/AN INCOMPETENT RIGHT-WING FASCIST WHO’S SELLING THE WORLD TO HIS CRONIES and A PRETENTIOUS FOP WHO’S WEAK ON TERROR/A MAKE-BELIEVE COWBOY WHO CAN’T WIPE WITHOUT CHENEY’S A-OK....
In conclusion, my fellow Americans, I believe you are all BENEATH ME/DUPES.
God Bless America.
And by the way, here's what I said in response to the DadTalk post about Democratic efforts to block Schwarzenegger's plan to increase access to fruit in schools.
Re Fruit in Schools...slightly off topic, but I read that a Democratic Assembly member proposed a bill that would ban enclosed smoking areas on state property.
But I can't complain too much; my fellow baby seal clubbers get petty at times with their legislation also.
In the late 1960s, my grandmother (who was an elementary school teacher in Alabama) urged me to resist the placement of Coca Cola machines in schools. While I didn't necessarily follow some of her other advice ("Our governor is running for President, you know"), her advice on Coke machines made sense. Now if school lunches would just become somewhat edible, we'd have a fighting chance.
Speaking of George Wallace, there's a comedians website that insists on applying an adjective to every comedian. If you click the individual links, you'll see that George Wallace is a "BLACK COMEDIAN" (as is Damon Wayans), Bill Engvall is a "SOUTHERN COMEDIAN" (but Jeff Foxworthy isn't), and Carrot Top isn't a comedian at all. (I agree.)
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