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Thursday, December 02, 2004

Terrorism Is Shades of Gray
Estephania links to Borowitz:

Choosing Terror Alerts Was “A Living Hell”

In a tearful resignation speech at the White House today, Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge admitted for the first time that he is “totally color blind,”...

“For my entire life, I have been totally, absolutely color blind,” Mr. Ridge said to his flabbergasted audience. “I look at that terror alert chart and see one big gray blob.”...

“For the last two years, I have lived in mortal fear that my eeny-meeny-miny-mo system of choosing alert levels would eventually come to light,” he confessed.

One White House aide who was present at Mr. Ridge’s resignation praised the color-blind cabinet member for his courage in coming clean: “The only braver thing I can imagine would be John Ashcroft admitting that he’s never read the Constitiution.”

Elsewhere, Congress once again refused to act on the 9/11 Commission report, explaining that it was waiting for the movie.

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