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Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Sorry Elton John, I'm Endorsing Boy George for UN Secretary General

Harmony and me
We're pretty good company
Looking for an island
In our boat upon the sea
Harmony, gee I really love you
And I want to love you forever
And dream of the never, never, never leaving harmony

So saith Annika:

There's no question in my mind that Kofi Annan is on his way out as the U.N.'s generalissimo. But who should take his place? Perhaps you can guess who i would like to see as the next Secretary General....

What the heck does a Secretary General of the United Nations do anyway? And couldn't anyone do it? And if anyone can do it, why not get Elton John? i think it's a great idea. Wouldn't he be just as good as anyone else?

Please join me in this crusade. Now that Dan Rather is quitting, i need a new crusade. You can help. Next time the subject of the United Nations comes up at work, mention to your co-workers that you think Elton John would make an excellent Secretary General. Word will undoubtedly spread to the right people. Also, if you like to call radio talk shows, why not mention it on the air? That'd get the word out even faster.

If you have a blog, feel free to copy and post my sidebar ad....

As usual, I am not trendy regarding this issue. Several people have already commented. An alternative candidate has already emerged:

As Kofi circles the drain, speculation begins to mount as to his successor...Annika is rooting for Elton John.

Personally, I think we should name John Wayne to the post....[M]illions of third worlders know him from his movies....Plus, it would really cheese the French.

I am sure some picky individuals will point out disqualifications, such as his lack of foreign policy experience or the fact that he is dead....

Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit proposes (yawn) Vaclev Havel.

Decision '08 says that Elton John is an "interesting candidate."

However, Annika has convinced Little Miss Attila, merely by noting:

It's the way that he move, the things that he do, wo-o-o.

Well, with all due respect to the people above, I think that if we're going to nominate a UN Secretary General from the United Kingdom who...um...gets along well with men, I would like to propose an alternative candidate.

Now we're fighting in our hearts
Fighting in the streets
Won't somebody help me?

War war is stupid and people are stupid
And love means nothing in some strange quarters
War war is stupid and people are stupid
And I heard them banging on hearts and fingers

Man is far behind in the search of something new
Like a Philistine, we're burning witches too
This world of hate must be designed for you
It matters what you say, it matters what you do

Yes, my candidate is Boy George. What does he offer to the UN?

So, let's keep Elton on Broadway and send Boy George to the UN Building.

Have you ever seen those ear thingies they got at the UN? They're not really headphones at all. If you take the tour, you can actually go down into the chamber where the delegates sit and see them up close. They're hollow plastic devices that hang onto the ear. i'm sure the sound quality is not that good. Either Boy George or Elton John would probably make it their first order of business to upgrade the sound system to something with higher fidelity. And then would come the redecorating. Get the UN headquarters out of the sixties, man. i'd like to see more 80's day-glo personally.
Hilarious....I'll second that position!
This could be an issue, actually. I'm not sure they want to be able to understand everything the others are saying.
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