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Friday, January 27, 2006

Rick Warren and the Saints 


Gil (remember him?) links to a news source called Lark, which is running this news item. (And I'm reading it in Alaska, too.)


Pastor and author Rick Warren has signed a deal to purchase the New Orleans Saints football franchise for $320 million from current owner Tom Benson, and has pledged to pour his time and energy into helping the city and team rebuild.

"This is the start of the Saints' turnaround," a Warren spokesman said. "America is going to see what a purpose-driven team can accomplish."...

The Saints will now operate differently than most NFL teams. Players will be required to go through the 40 Days of Purpose program. Alcohol will not be served in the stadium, and every attendee will receive a copy of the Purpose-Driven Life. Halftime shows will offer "edgy, cool" evangelism and worship concerts, says a spokesman.



Here comes another one:


Out of fashion for 4,000 years, asherah poles have shown up in night clubs and hip restaurants in Los Angeles and Miami, where patrons consider them trendy, mystical symbols of ancient power.

"People want to connect to something with ancient roots, not some modern religion," says a night club owner who added carved, modern-looking poles to his facility. "People rub them to get good luck with their careers and relationships."

But a Jewish watchdog group has begun surreptitiously stealing or cutting the poles down, leaving unattractive stumps....

As far as anyone can tell, the poles first showed up at a fashion show in West L.A., where the set designer used religious icons to spice things up. People raved about the sleek asherah poles so much that local clubs added them to their d├ęcor. Poles are often accompanied by a carved bowl at the base where people offer "sacrifices" of spare change, or even jewelry.

"It represents natural religion, I guess," says Sasha, 23, who dropped a dollar into an asherah bowl before ordering a blue-colored beverage at the bustling Octopus Bar. "It makes me feel connected to the earth and to spiritual energy. Maybe it will help me be lucky."...



Oh, well, at least they aren't agitating for the return of Molech. Or perhaps they are.

Back to Lark News:


After immersing himself in popular slang phrases, youth leader Dave Jackson has become completely unintelligible to members of his church, even the youth.

"We stopped understanding him about a month ago," says Tanya Gooden, 17, of his youth group. "It was a slow process. Now when he preaches we have to assume a lot of things by his tone, not his words."

Jackson, tracked down at his church office, told a reporter, "Fo shizzle, my nizzle, it's the big mack tizzle, you trackin'? The get-down was off the hook, bra. Big-time ace. Dey scened until the old folk rolled in and the crew got dot gone. Good Sunday, bra."



Just wait a few years and marry Jamie Lynn (or whatever her name is).

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Comments:
I actually had to go check out the article myself because I wasn't sure if it was satire or not. Never heard of Lark News before. Ya know what's sad? It could happen.
 
Joel Osteen bought an arena. You're right, it could happen. Although I don't think the Tampa Bay Devil Rays will engender a lot of interest.

And then there's the whole tax exempt thingie...
 
Trackback: The Purpose Driven Saints.

Because I can't do the blogspot trackback thingummy.
 
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