No wonder they sound stereotypical


I have had occasion to attend two high school graduation ceremonies over the past two years. In one case I knew one of the valedictorians (there were two valedictorians for the class, to ensure that no one was left out), yet even then I expected the worst from the dreaded graduation speech. (For the record, I was pleasantly surprised.)

Despite this, I will attend my next graduation expecting to hear the familiar platitudes:


It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. As we leave these hallowed halls, we need to thank those teachers that guided us and equipped us with the knowledge that we need to succeed in the world. Many of us will be heading in different directions, but I know that all of us will regard this school with a warm place in our hearts.


Sound about right?

Well, if you suspect that all graduation speeches come from the same source, you may be right. (I may be crazy. But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. But I digress.)


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I've already noted how you can buy term papers on the web, but a graduation speech?

From a web page entitled "Students and Principle Speeches" (argh!), you can read some samples:


EXCERPT FROM A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT SPEECH
As we look back at our years here at our High School, we have many people to thank. Our teachers have challenged our minds, our parents have been supportive of our efforts and our friends and classmates have provided friendly competition. All of these things have come together to provide us with a foundation for the future, a foundation for us to build upon, which can only be constructed with the bricks and mortar of education.



They didn't use the "as we leave these hallowed halls" line.


EXCERPT FROM A HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL SPEECH
You may not have to be faced with the obstacles and challenges that men of courage such as Martin Luther King and Mohandas K. Gandhi have had to endure, but there will be times when the courageous path will be the best. There will be times when you must speak up when the faint hearted will not, or act decisively when others, afraid of the consequences to themselves, will not act at all. We, as parents and educators, hope that we have instilled in you the ability to know right from wrong and act according to your conscience and not mere convenience.



And we also hope that we've instilled in you that you should rip off other people's work, as long as you don't get caught at it.

However, in case you're wondering why they wait until high school to teach plagiarism to students and principals...they don't.


Excerpt From Middle School Student Speech
This (evening/afternoon/morning) we mark the end of our middle school years and the beginning of high school, and in many ways, we also mark the end of our childhood as we begin the journey through our teenage years and become young adults.

We have dreamed of this day for a while now, as we have dreamed of the day that we would get our driver’s license and enjoy the freedoms that come along with being a teenager.

However, as our first year of high school comes near, many of you probably feel the same way that I do; that is, excited but nervous about the upcoming year.



And, even scarier:


Excerpt from Primary Student Speech

We have just completed five years of elementary school. Looking back to the day we first started school, it was hard to imagine this, the end of our fifth grade year. However, we steadily stayed with the course and over the past five years, we’ve completed mountains of class work and homework, and now, here we are, at the end of our fifth grade year, graduation day.



To my knowledge, they do not supply speeches for kindergarten valedictorians. I'll write one for them. Feel free to rip it off for your little one.


Wow! We have finished kindergarten. Now we will go to first grade. As we leave this hallowed room, we will remember what we learned here.


Happy to help.

From the Ontario Empoblog

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