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Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Trapped in the Closet? I thought he was accused of HETEROSEXUAL affairs
KROQ's Kevin and Bean (who used to work with Tami Heide) devoted a portion of this morning's show to R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet":
Since the indictment, he has released several songs maintaining his innocence, along with other tunes that border on the pornographic, playing up his image as a self-proclaimed "Sexual Super Freak" and using public interest in his case to keep listeners curious about how far he'll go in his music.
"Trapped in the Closet" is Kelly's boldest step yet....In a masterful marketing move, the elaborate story-song was released to radio and on Kelly's Web site in installments, building suspense as listeners wondered what would happen next in the 16-minute soap opera, which he has described as "a ghetto 'Desperate Housewives.' "
Over a minimal musical backing, Kelly tells the story of six characters caught in a web of adulterous affairs, singing each role himself. In part one, the main character, who is never named, wakes up in bed with Kathy, a woman who isn't his wife. He tries to leave, but Kathy's husband comes up the stairs, so he winds up hiding in the closet.
The central character is discovered when his cell phone rings, and he threatens Kathy's cuckolded husband, a minister named Rufus, by pulling a pistol. At the moment when it seems as if violence is inevitable, Rufus drops that bombshell that he has been cheating as well -- and his homosexual lover, a man named Chuck, arrives at the door.
The narrator leaves Rufus, Kathy and Chuck to sort things out. On the way home, he is stopped for speeding. When he finally arrives, he makes love to his own wife, but he discovers a condom in their bed. Part five ends when the narrator learns that his wife has been cheating on him, too -- with the police officer who stopped him earlier....
The songwriter may have had a more self-serving motive for crafting the mini-opera: In addition to titillating listeners, the song seems to say that "everyone" has some scandalous sexual secret hidden in their closet. The key line is delivered by Minister Rufus when his wife attacks him for sleeping with a man: "Please, you can't judge me."...
Something else to keep in the closet:
FOX uncovers .. Michael Jackson is a closet Klingon
With 2 former jurors calling him guilty, 11 former Neverland ranch hands calling him a child molester and his own sister Janet going "Oh Michael", Michael Jackson, King of Pop, according to FOX news is in fact a Klingon, masquerading as a human.
Last month FOX, ratings floundering sent over a dozen homegrown "FOX paparazzi's" out to discover the real Michael Jackson. Sources say that FOX succeeded in it's goal. Slated to air next Sunday, "JACKSON, OH MY LIVING GOD!" is expected to draw over 120 viewers from ABC'S much anticipated "Desperate Housewives do the Miami Dolphins" episode....
The last story was from The Spoof, which has also published this piece:
Pop idol, rock star, dancer, fashion maven, sex goddess, alternative lifestyle queen, movie actress, fitness enthusiast, mom, spiritual seeker, and equestrienne, Madonna has been through every phase. Now that she’s bored again, Madonna wants to try a new type of lifestyle change - death....
From the Ontario Empoblog
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