Ashlee Simpson Has Become a Personality
I previously talked about how the term "personality" is an insult. Well, Ashlee Simpson has become a music personality. To be honest, I didn't hear much of the Orange Bowl appearance, and attributed the badness that I did hear to the song's inane lyrics (kinda like Nirvana choruses), but The Powers That Be have decided that Ashlee's Orange Bowl appearance, coupled with her SNL appearance, have resulted in Ashlee's stock being devalued from musician status to personality status. For example (Sporting News/Yahoo):
The Orange Bowl didn't provide much drama, and the halftime show didn't provide much entertainment. In fact, Fly thought at first that the crowd booed Ashlee Simpson as she left the stage, but as it turns out, the jeers were just piped in over the P.A. system.
And the Las Vegas Sun says this:
I also should have known that Las Vegas would be the ones wearing the Evel Knievel uniforms, but what really gave it away was three familiar faces I spotted during the pregame introductions. Lou Kelly, Chris Richardson and Dalron Johnson were in the starting lineup, on the bench and on the bench in street clothes due to an injury, respectively.
So this is where the professional careers of former Rebels go to die, I thought.
At least Kelly's is dying hard. He is, as the public address announcer boomed in a voice that would make Ashlee Simpson's Orange Bowl tribute to nails screeching on a chalkboard sound like a whisper, the leading scorer in the ABA's Western Conference. Which is sort of like being the best bluesman in Boise. Or the smartest undergrad at Fresno State.
The Monterey Herald praised Kevin Spacey's performance as Bobby Darin while taking a dig at Ashlee:
George Clooney did it in ''O Brother, Where Art Thou?'' Lou Diamond Phillips did it in ''La Bamba.'' Heck, Ashlee Simpson did it on ''Saturday Night Live.''
But Kevin Spacey refused to lip-sync.
For ''Beyond the Sea,'' a Bobby Darin musical biopic, he did his own singing, replicating Darin's voice.
It's an audacious move. Many actors choose to lip-sync through their singing scenes, particularly when portraying a real singer (Jamie Fox in ''Ray," for example, despite reported accounts that he could do a dead-on imitation)....
Michelle Pfeiffer surprised everyone with a sultry, piano-seducing ''Makin' Whoopee'' in ''The Fabulous Baker Boys" -- a scene that's still memorable. Sissy Spacek sang her way to an Oscar as Loretta Lynn in ''Coal Miner's Daughter.''
The Jefferson City News Tribune uses very short sentences with very small words to make its comments:
The BCS has gotten more bad reviews than an Ashlee Simpson halftime show.
Ashlee Simpson is no Janet Jackson, that's for sure. That was a big booooo without the other b.
Two hints when singing: sing on key and keep your clothes on. Unless you're singing in the shower.
It's that easy.
(Ashlee did the right thing on SNL, after all. There is something to be said for lip-synching. Who really sings her songs? Milli Vanilli?)
Back to the BCS, which has received more bad reviews than Ron Artest's latest CD. Or his boxing debut.
Many say the BCS has one too many C's in it. Not so.
Keep it. It's perfect.
It gave us the National Championship nail-biter last Tuesday night, didn't it? What a battle!
Okay, OU turned to PU....
(I thought Paul Helms had left the newspaper industry. Cruel to be kind.)
So a lot of ado about Ashlee from the learned. However, Pollstar, with tongue partially in a sleek hair dryer, comments on the godly critics:
It's time to stop the insanity! Do we really need someone ensconced in his Shaggs bootlegs telling us that our favorite performers suck? Do we really need 10,000 word diatribes meant only to show off the writer's verbose vocabulary of derogatory synonyms telling us that the extravaganza that took place at the local concert hall had all the artistry and imagination of Donald Trump's hairstyle? Do we need these journalistic jerks telling us why we shouldn't like Ashlee Simpson? Of course not.
Well, I conducted me a little experiment to search for reviews of Ashlee's musical talents that were written BEFORE October 2004 (i.e. BEFORE SNL and the Orange Bowl), to see what people thought about Ashlee's voice before it became trendy to say that it sucked. Here's an excerpt from a July 3, 2004 review of "The Ashlee Simpson Show."
...Ashlee Simpson is a "celebrity" created entirely by her father and MTV exces drooling over the possibility of a sister with the current "star power" of Jessica Simpson. This family is clearly limited in talent and Ashlee was blessed with even less than her sister. Watching this show makes me almost physically ill. My dream for years was to be involved in the music industry but when I see record execs talking about "how excited they are" about Ashlee's record, it makes me want to rethink my career. You get to see how truly terrible her singing voice is on the show and her total lack of direction for her career....
On the other hand, the kids seem to like it more often than not. Here are some of the reviews from a BBC web site:
Ashlee has a recognizable voice - I really like that. A lot of singers have voices that sound like everyone else's. I do think that only about 5 songs are really awesome on the album, but those songs are some of my favorites. Rock on, Ashlee!
Austen, 12, Colorado
No, No, NOOO! Ashlee Simpson is an Avril wannabe - she's not half as good. Cheesy, OTT vocals and a lack of attitude is how I'd describe her music. You can't say she's got attitude just because she says 'yeah' half way through the song! Her style is unoriginal and bland. Sorry - it's a miss for me!
Rubinda, 15, Reading
I think Ashlee doesn't have as fantastic a voice as Jessica but her songs are better and she has LOADS of personality!
Liz, 14, Dublin
I think it's brilliant. You can tell that she has a great voice on every single. I think this is the coolest album of the year!
Sian, 12, Cryant
Ashlee Simpson has a great, flowing voice and the voice is what grips me to pop singers. This album is great!
Linzi, 14, Monifieth
But, for better or worse, she's a personality now.
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