Ontario Empoblog

Let's start here : If television's "Crazy Cooter" has his way, fans of the "Dukes of Hazzard" may be speeding away from a new movie version of the cornpone classic faster than the Duke boys running from Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane. Ben Jones, a former Georgia congressman who played the wisecracking mechanic on the popular series from 1979-85, said profanity and sexual content in the film make a mockery of the family friendly show. "Basically, they trashed our show," said Jones, who now lives in the mountains of Washington, Va. "It's one thing to do whatever movie they want to do, but to take a classic family show and do that is like taking "I Love Lucy" and making her a crackhead or something." Jones said he read a script of the movie, which is scheduled to be released next month, and that it contained profanity, "constant sexual innuendo and some very clear sexual situations." On Wednesday, Jones wrote an open lett...

King David and His Java

From Joel , linked by Martin : Several years ago a larger company was considering buying out Fog Creek, and I knew it would never work as soon as I heard the CEO of that company say that he didn't really agree with my theory of hiring the best programmers. He used a biblical metaphor: you only need one King David, and an army of soldiers who merely had to be able to carry out orders. His company's stock price promptly dropped from 20 to 5, so it's a good thing we didn't take the offer, but it's hard to pin that on the King David fetish.... In some other industries, cheap is more important than good. Wal*Mart grew to be the biggest corporation on Earth by selling cheap products, not good products. If Wal*Mart tried to sell high quality goods, their costs would go up and their whole cheap advantage would be lost.... So, why isn't there room in the software industry for a low cost provider, someone who uses the cheapest programmers available? (Remind me to ask Quar...

No Sh@t, Sherlock

Then : Good morning, gentlemen. Uh, this is a twelve-storey block combining classical neo-Georgian features with all the advantages of modern design. Uhh, the tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these large contai-- Now : An upflush toilet has been engineered to solve problems. While their interiors are hardworking machinery, their exteriors are a fashionable complement to any decor. Their main difference from standard fixtures is the discharge system, whose key components are a macerator/pump and a small-diameter pipe. The powerful macerator has a rotating blade that shreds and grinds solid material like human waste and toilet paper. When mixed with flushing water, solid material changes to a fine slurry wh...

Snuck one more read in

Jennifer lives in Buffalo, which for the geographically challenged is way the heck up north by Canada and stuff. (And where O.J. Simpson rushed for more than 2,000 yards in a single season. But I digress.) Jennifer linked to this post from Chimera Station, recounting a border crossing into Canada: Agent: Any firearms in the car? Me: No. Agent: Any other offensive weapons to declare? Me: Do these hockey sticks count? Agent: What? Me: Ummmmmmmmmm Read the rest here . The agent was not amused. From the Ontario Empoblog

Well, I guess it truly is the end of the world as we know it

I haven't been visiting some of my favorite blogs lately, but I luckily caught this from Estephania. Yesterday my alarm went off. I groggily wake up. I'm not a morning person. By any stretch. They are playing a Christmas song on the radio. I'm confused, but stumble into the shower, convinced somehow that the Christmas music is a figment of my imagination. I get out of the shower. The radio station is STILL playing Christmas music. The morning guys say that they will be playing Christmas music until Christmas day.... The story continues here . (Warning: near nudity ensues.) From the Ontario Empoblog

License to Steal

There are so many license acronyms I can't keep them all straight: Open Source licenses Apache Software License Berkeley Software Distribution (BSD) license Mozilla [TM] Public License (MPL) Sun Industry Standards Source License (SISSL) Free Software Foundation licenses GNU General Public License (GPL) Lesser General Public License (LGPL) Community Source licenses Sun Community Source License (SCSL): for Java[TM] platform, for Jini[TM] technology Java Research License (JRL) Document licenses Creative Commons license Sun Public Documentation License (PDL) Open Publication License GNU Free Documentation License (FDL) ...A variety of licenses have been created to meet the different needs of open source projects---the original Berkeley Unix was released under the Berkeley Software Distribution (BSD) license, Linux and Emacs use the GNU General Public License (GPL), while Netscape created the Mozilla[TM] Public License (MPL) for its browser. Companies like IBM and Sun have w...

As opposed to amateur proprietary, which is what most of us produce

An old (2003) comment from Ted Leung : In case you were unclear on the JBoss group's strategy, you can read this . I think that what JBoss is doing is another interesting experiment in the space of funding open source development. It's going to be interesting to see how they mix the consulting/support model in to the product.... My only complaint is the use of the term "professional open source". The open source community definitely doesn't need JBoss's stamp of approval to make it "professional". I think that the Linux, Samba, and Apache HTTPd teams would find this idea particularly ridiculous. From the Ontario Empoblog

Icerocket

Never heard of icerocket.com until I turned up here in a list of blogs with recent mentions of Danny Bonaduce. (Note that the existence of this post ensures that I'll make the list again.) They also have a trend tool. Here's an example of 60 day trends for blog mentions of Danny Bonaduce, Doug Krikorian, and myself. Here's a snapshot: From the Ontario Empoblog

O Grab Me

From answers.com : Embargo Act of 1807, passed Dec. 22, 1807, by the U.S. Congress in answer to the British orders in council restricting neutral shipping and to Napoleon's restrictive Continental System. The U.S. merchant marine suffered from both the British and French, and Thomas Jefferson undertook to answer both nations with measures that by restricting neutral trade would show the importance of that trade....Merchants, sea captains, and sailors were naturally dismayed to find themselves without income and to see the ships rotting at the wharves. All sorts of dodges were used to circumvent the law....Enforcement was difficult, especially in New England, where merchants looked on the scheme as an attempt to defraud them of a livelihood. When in Jan., 1809, Congress, against much opposition, passed an act to make enforcement more rigid, resistance approached the point of rebellion—again especially in New England—and the scheme had to be abandoned. On Mar. 1, 1809, the embargo wa...

The Other Nesler

I don't have any new news on Ellie Nesler or William (Willy) Nesler (if you do, please leave it in the comments), but I did find this old article on another member of the Nesler family: Those who know her call Rebecca Nesler a strong, resilient and hopeful young woman. To many others, she is simply a member of one of Tuolumne County's most notorious families. Rebecca, who goes by Becky, is the daughter of Ellie Nesler, the Sonora woman who shot and killed a man in a Jamestown courtroom in 1993. She is also the younger sister of Willy Nesler, who in May was convicted of beating a man to death near the Nesler family's Shaws Flat Road property in Sonora.... Her family's troubles have made her a stronger person, she said. While she realizes what her mother did 12 years ago was wrong, Becky said she understands, now more than ever, what her mother felt in shooting Driver. Becky said her mother still contends that Driver would have gone free and preyed on other young boys, i...

Huh?

http://www.ontariocanews.com/ From the Ontario Empoblog

Did you realize that "peer pressure" was a toilet-related pun?

The title is from an article from Dave Barry on Canadian toilets , back in 1998. I was searching for information on Canadian toilets, and had trouble finding any because Canada (or at least Ontario) eventually adopted similar regulations : Just over two years ago, Gary Blucher built a house just north of Toronto. The Ontario building code said he had to use low flow toilets — ones that use no more than 6 litres of water per flush. "They plug," he complains.... Blucher says he sometimes has to flush two or three times, just to clear the toilet.... In Ontario, low-flow has been part of the building code for the past six years. It's part of the province's efforts to save money by reducing the need for new water filtration plants. The provincial government says the plan was to cut toilet waste by 25 per cent, but it hasn't quite worked according to plan.... Ontario may be the only province pushing the six-litre standard right now [in 2003], but other provinces are wat...

iVan

You've had iPods, now you have iVan - the mousepad. From the Ontario Empoblog

It's Not Perfect

Those who were hoping for a triumphant return to space...it ain't gonna happen yet : NASA said Wednesday it is grounding future shuttle flights because foam debris that brought down Columbia is still a risk — and might have doomed Discovery if the big chunk of broken insulation had come off just a bit earlier and slammed into the spacecraft. A large chunk of foam flew off Discovery's external fuel tank just two minutes after liftoff Tuesday morning. Shuttle managers do not believe it hit the shuttle, posing a threat to the seven astronauts when they return to Earth. But they plan a closer inspection of the spacecraft to be sure. "You have to admit when you're wrong. We were wrong," said shuttle program manager Bill Parsons. "We need to do some work here, and so we're telling you right now, that the ... foam should not have come off. It came off. We've got to go do something about that." The loss of a chunk of debris, a vexing problem NASA thought...

Before we heap loads of praise on the Bereans...

...we should remember that Paul had to leave Berea also . From the Ontario Empoblog

What is the dimunitive of Empress? Empressita?

Inland Empress (no, we're not related) has just given birth to a baby girl , Lael Sophia. Don't know if she'll become a blogger like Lil' Aubrey (Dear Buster Van Buren's daughter). [OE 7/28: CORRECTED LINK.] From the Ontario Empoblog

Dooce and Cruising

Back when Dooce blogged about her work, she also blogged about today's Niacin poster boy, Tom Cruise : On my commute home from work yesterday evening, I found myself involved in a conversation about masturbation and sexual awareness with a male co-worker.... "There I was at 9 years old closing my eyes and pretending that I was Apollonia.” Unamused and barely stirred he offered, “Purple Rain was filmed entirely in Minneapolis. I’m from Minneapolis.” “I mean, from all the memories I have of 4th grade, this one is the most vivid. And now whenever I hear that soundtrack I feel an overwhelming sense of innocence. Ironic, don’t you think?” “Sometimes it gets really cold in Minneapolis,” he said, completely ignoring me. “I think the next milestone in my sexual awakening would have to have been the sex scene between Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis in Top Gun. That Berlin song, so delicate and appropriate for that scene with the curtains flowing and light shimmering and the tongues and t...

Paranoia Strikes Anywhere

I got called into HR this morning. I didn't think that I was going to be fired, so I figured that this had to do with one of two things: Someone outside of the company that I talked with about a matter that cannot be discussed here. My blog As I was walking to HR, I was trying to think if I had inadvertently disclosed something here. As it turned out, the conversation in HR had to do with an entirely different topic. Again, I can't disclose it here. Sorry. But at least I haven't been dooced . Or Hanscomed. Or Troutgirled. Or Queenofskyed. From the Ontario Empoblog

Presumably she didn't know about the allegations. Talking to a dog may be better.

A 2003 Usenet post : From: suitee...@aol.comeondown (SUITE EEEE) Newsgroups: alt.vacation.las-vegas Date: 12 Jul 2003 04:33:02 GMT References: Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com Subject: Re: This can't be good Message-ID: I have to comment on this. Jon Fredericks is the BIGGEST DICK on TV, that guy is totally out of it, he thinks he's funny and he's not. Do we really need to hear him reprimanding "Jordan" (his dog - he takes him to work) while he is supposed to be doing the weather? And, who in hell sends in birthday wishes to their animals!!! I thought Christopher Nance and Fritz Coleman were fruitcakes, this guy has them beat hands down!! Forget about the news, there is none..."Breaking news at 11" - "Mrs Jone's cat up a tree" - or some mutilated body found in a trash bin!! GMAB!! Don't tell me to change the channel - KVBC is the best of the bunch, the rest are even worse!! KTLA makes these guys look like a high school comm...

VH1 and KYSR (Danny Bonaduce fan comments)

VH1 (who has a vested interest in the matter) has a message board devoted to Star 98.7. Star98.7 - pollyparks [07.07.05 11:45 AM] The show sucks without Danny... dannysmidwestfan 07.11.05 09:49 AM RE: Star98.7 Danyy has always been too good for Jamie. She's trashy and thinks she's funny by cutting people down. A key indication of a very low IQ. Danny is better off without them.... sduits 07.20.05 12:53 PM RE: Star98.7 I agree! Stench bugs me.... From the Ontario Empoblog

Arminianism and Calvinism

I've alluded to this before, so I felt that I might as well dig into it. From spreadinglight.com : The clash between these two views comes down to a matter of free will and whether we have any at all as compared to what God wills. Some will say that God will override human will in all cases if God wills something different. Others say that God gave humans free will and because he created humans with free will, he will not override. Finally, there are some who do not believe humans have free will and that the sovereignty of God causes everything to happen. I will examine the five points of Calvinism and contrast them with Arminianism. To save my fingers from typing the words a hundred times, I’ll use (C) for Calvinism and (A) for Arminianism from now on. (C) Total Depravity vs. (A) Natural Ability Total depravity is best explained by quoting Romans in saying, “no one seeks God, no not one.” Because of an inherent sinful nature, man does not search for God and will not ever. N...

I cannot absorb all of this

The tangled history of the Standard Oil Company (or Companies). This is advertised as "highly abridged." It links to a large graphic that is even more highly abridged. Perhaps it's easier to just look at one of the pieces . From the Chevron (Gulf too) (Getty too) (Texaco too) ( Unocal too? ) site. The family tree is also comprehensible. But they're all merging together again. Does your head spin around ? From the Ontario Empoblog

Why do you think they call it dope?

From Reuters/Yahoo : ...Stephen Knight, 17, said three men had broken into his apartment, hogtied him with Christmas lights and stole some marijuana, along with a plasma screen television, police said. Police are looking for the suspects. In the meantime, they arrested Knight after finding several marijuana plants growing under heat lamps in the apartment, four grams of harvested marijuana and a tablet of ecstasy, Officer Chad Ripley said.... From the Ontario Empoblog

Decades On

An old story: Jess Bravin and Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme never met....Yet each is intrigued with a question about the same strange moment in history. Why, almost 30 years ago, did a cluster of largely middle-class kids glom onto Charles Manson and commit crimes, including murder, under his thrall? "Some people are just destined, I think," said Fromme, who, at 49, remains Manson's most loyal disciple. She spoke in a recent telephone interview from Florida, where she's serving a life sentence in federal prison in Marianna for trying to assassinate President Ford. Bravin isn't about to let it go at that, however. As Fromme's unlikely and unauthorized biographer, the 32-year-old law student has written a book that includes her ruminations on influences and events contributing to her "destiny."... Then the first-time author tossed out other reasons—the recent California Heaven's Gate suicides among them—to explain why people should care about...

Leave It To...Oh Never Mind

Annika links to this cartoon . No horses were involved. Classic line from Ward: "One doesn't borrow condoms, Wally." From the Ontario Empoblog

Keep Feeling Technological Fascination

Bad Patty has posted a picture of a Redneck Palm Pilot. Recommended viewing. From the Ontario Empoblog

The story about the story (for immature adults only)

Sorry, but you have to wonder when someone searches for this: 26/07/2005 23:05:32 sex farm Enumclaw Communitys Sex with animals (Google) Well, the Seattle Times has the story: King County sheriff's detectives are investigating the owners of an Enumclaw-area farm after a Seattle man died from injuries sustained while having sex with a horse boarded on the property. Investigators first learned of the farm after the man died at Enumclaw Community Hospital July 2. The county Medical Examiner's Office ruled that the death was accidental and the result of having sex with a horse. A surveillance camera picked up the license plate of the car that dropped the man off at the hospital, which led detectives to the farm and other people involved, said sheriff's Sgt. John Urquhart. Deputies don't believe a crime occurred because bestiality is not illegal in Washington state and the horse was uninjured, said Urquhart.... The farm was talked about in Internet chat rooms as a destinati...

Watch Out At Starbucks

From svenrox : Last night while doing homework for BSF at Starbucks, Liz bumped into someone. Rather, he came up to her and asked her if she was a believer because of her reading the Bible. Within forty-five minutes, he basically told Liz that she was following false teachers, John MacArthur, Charles Spurgeon, even the early church fathers, and thus was headed to hell. The man she was talking to was none other then Al Soto. He is the known as the right hand man to Darwin Fish.... From the Ontario Empoblog

More on Darwin Fish

Remember Darwin Fish ? Phil Johnson has a lot to say about him: DARWIN FISH is his real name. He has nothing to do with those little "darwin fish" symbols atheists and humanists like to put on their cars. He is a real person who has started a dangerous cult that is no joke. He regularly labels well-known Christian leaders "false teachers" and publishes diatribes against them.... He admits he cannot name one other Christian leader outside his own little band of followers—anyone who has lived in the two millennia between the death of the last apostle and the advent of Darwin Fish—who has remained faithful to the truth.... Darwin was not always such a strict loner. At one point Darwin was a follower of Rick Miesel, a similarly-obsessed exposer of well-known evangelicals. But the two of them split over the question of whether Martin and Deidre Bobgan are hell-bound heretics. (Fish said yes; Miesel balked. So Fish now declares Miesel a false teacher, too.)... Darwin att...

Mac Don't Like Jay Kim

American Politics Journal includes a 1997 article by Mac MacArthur on then-Congressman Jay Kim, my former Congressman who was convicted of receiving illegal campaign contributions. Defeated in 1998 and 2000, he has apparently disappeared from the face of the earth. Mac MacArthur was mad that Kim didn't resign his office immediately. Mac ended up taking a Jay Kim biography and annotating it. His annotations are in ALL CAPS; not good Internet practice, but it probably suitably demonstrates Mac's disgust at the whole affair. These are but small excerpts from the complete annotated biography. ...When Jay Kim took on the well-established, local political names of California's 41st Congressional district for his seat in the U. S. House of Representatives in 1992, most thought it was an impossible task. Betting against the odds AND USING CHIPS PROVIDED BY HIS KOREAN CORPORATE PALS, Jay entered the race and came away with a stunning and historic victory, making him the only Korean...

The French Look At Us As Wild Libertines

You know how Americans are stuffy conservative fascists and Europeans are progressive liberated higher folk? Well, at least we can drink Red Bull, while some Europeans can't. In a commentary on the alleged toxicity of fluoride, Kevin Paine said the following : To place things into perspective, caffeine, which can be found in coffee, tea, chocolate, guarana and many other items is 4.8 times more toxic than the fluoride being placed into the water. I don't remember seeing people writing to ban coffee. Well, I couldn't find any evidence of anyone who banned coffee for medical reasons, but look what the French did : French ban on Red Bull (drink) upheld by European Court 08 Feb 2004 Health concerns over the Red Bull energy drink were fuelled yesterday after Europe's highest court upheld a French ban on the product.... It contains caffeine, vitamins, and sugar which, the company claims, kick-starts the body's metabolism and keeps people alert. But France has refused to a...

Niacin, Aliens, and Good Looks