For Those With A Utensil Fetish


Warning: foul language follows. Don't say I didn't warn you.

This gem is taken from a post in the Burst My Bubble blog:


[W]e talked about how children do not pronounce the Letter "R" very well....I told her my kids are great help in the kitchen and even throw their paper plates away at lunchtime. Yesterday, I noticed Sass was about to toss away more than just the plate.

"Sass, honey, we need that fork, please put it in the sink."

Her reply sounded like this:

"I dont need to fuck.
You dont need to fuck.
You just think you need to fuck.
It is a good fuck. I will keep the fuck. I will wash the fuck."

Yeah, it really did sound like that to me. And, it had nothing to do with my sick mind. Ask any toddler to say fork and see how successful they are with that word. It happens. "The" becomes "Ta", which sounds like "to". The "r's" get dropped.



Here is a related story from Suburban Turmoil:


This afternoon, 12 was doing her homework in the playroom when she came hurtling out to find me, carrying a bewildered Baby in her arms.

"Baby just cussed," she reported breathlessly.

"Cussed," I repeated. "What did she say exactly?"

"She said.... THE 'F' WORD."

"What?!" I laughed disbelievingly.

"Yeah. The 'F' word. I'm not going to say it."...

An hour or so later, all three girls and I had congregated in the kitchen. Baby was marching around waving a spatula when...

"Fuck!" she shouted.

The room grew quiet. I felt my head implode.

"Fuck!" she said again, before giggling and running into the den.



In the comments, Erin hypothesized that the baby just misidentified a spatula:


OK. This is an easy one. I know she is only 1.5, but tell her that is a no-no word every time she says it. Make no other reaction.

However, if she happens to say it at your party, tell people she is trying to say 'fork'.

I swear to god when my now 3-yr old was learning to say fork, she said fuck instead.



And guess what? Other words cause problems also.


Same thing with 'clock'. It came out 'cock'.


Hoo boy...

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Comments

Chris said…
The only thing more amazing than language itself is the affect it can have on people. I read this and laughed my a** off, but if I were to say the word a** on my blog, somebody would pee their pants and call me filthy. Yea, it happened a while back, remember?

I'm still amazed that the F-word offends people. But I guess it's all about what it makes you think about, and what you're afraid of. Other than that, why would a word have any power at all?

Great post!
Chris said…
Oh, I have to ammend that last comment. They technically did not pee their pants. That's an expression meant to convey severe dismay.

I'm Chris, and I approve this statement. ;)
Ontario Emperor said…
Of course, the whole definition of bad words can change over time.

Years ago, my then very young daughter mentioned that somebody had said a bad word.

The word? "Stupid."

See my Luke 18 comments on a childlike nature.
Jennifer said…
Personally, I think "stupid" is way more offensive than the f-word.
Ontario Emperor said…
Are the neighbor moms condoning use of the f word yet?
Jennifer said…
No, no, no. I will not be pleased if I hear my child say the f-word. I'm just saying that personally, I think calling someone stupid is much more harmful.
Ontario Emperor said…
I was unclear. I wasn't thinking of your child; I was thinking of the other children.
Mrs. Loquacious said…
Hrm. If child development says that toddlers cannot accurately enunciate the word "fork," then perhaps I am going to avoid teaching my child the word "fork" until they're older ;) Instead, we'll substitute it with the Cantonese word..."tzah"... or the French world "fourchette" and avoid offending people inadvertently! =D
Anonymous said…
Kids say the darndest things!
Ontario Emperor said…
I would think that the French word would also have possible pronounciation problems. Cantonese is the best bet.
Ontario Emperor said…
Good point. In the future I'll consider other ways to get the same point across. Or perhaps the point shouldn't have been made. If Blogger were working for me, I'd open up comments on the subject...

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