Karl Malden, Animal Prostitution, and Charlie Brown at Night
I answered my own question that I asked in the comments to Mary's "Elsewhere" blog. Resume your lives now.
Incidentally, take the time to read her post TGIF. She can laugh about it...NOW.
Karl Malden's birth name was Mladen Sekulovich. And he pitched American Express for 21 years.
But as far as I know, I'm the only person on the Net who has had his "don't carry cash" catchphrase ingrained in my membrane. Although one person kinda sorta links the phrase with Malden's former co-star:
kittylin Mar 2, 2004 @ 06:24 PM
Do President's carry wallets? From The American President, I remember that Michael Douglas was looking for his credit card and his secretary said it was in storage with his other personal belongings.
Apparently, U.S. Presidents aren't supposed to charge things. Ditto that they don't carry cash....
Well, apparently the "don't carry cash" tagline wasn't supposed to be that impressive:
American Express Guy - Spokesperson for the American Express credit card and travelers check company. Karl Malden starred in the role of the American Express Guy in over 100 TV commercial spots. Malden's classic catchphrase proclaimed: "Don't leave home without it." The "it" being the American Express Card. Malden, a veteran movie actor, formerly starred as Detective Lt. Mike Stone (the persona he used on the commercials) on the police drama THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO/ABC/1972-77. The American Express campaign was created by Olgilvy & Mather Agency. In a take-off of these commercials, late night talk show host Johnny Carson on a segment of NBC's THE TONIGHT SHOW dressed like Karl Malden. When Carson told the viewing audience "Don't leave home with out it," he got hit in the face with a cream pie.
So let's switch topics to Antarctican animal hookers (trust me, it's related):
How would you feel if your mate came home after spending the night with a member of the world's oldest profession? I think it's safe to say that you probably wouldn't be very happy.
Well, for the first time it has been observed that the male specimen of Homo sapiens is not the only species to pay for someone else's services. Yes, it has been scientifically determined that the male Adelie penguin, which lives on Ross Island down in the Antarctic, also pays for the special favors of a female....
Penguins don't carry cash and they have never been known to carry an American Express card, so just how do they pay?
With stones.
Yes, you read that correctly - stones. Also known as pebbles, cobbles, and rocks....
Actually, the Adelie penguins are known to mate for life. At least that is what the male is led to believe.
Every so often, the female wanders off in search of stones to build her nest with. Since there are no trees or grasses to be found in this frozen wasteland, stones make the best nesting material by default. But even stones are difficult to find in this cold climate. Those that do exist are most likely frozen solid in the mud or ice. The stones are of such great value to the penguins that they will steal them from each other, even though they face a high risk of being attacked by the owner...
The female Adelie penguin has figured out a better way. She exchanges copulations for the stones. The female slips away from her mate and just happens to wander over to the nest of an unpaired male....
She goes through the standard courtship procedure. You know, the usual dip of the head and the coy look from the corner of the eye. If the male shows some interest, she will just lie prone as an invitation to mate. Once the mating is over, she picks up her payment (the stone) and heads back home to her unsuspecting mate....
Well, now we can consider this quote from "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" in a whole new light.
Charlie Brown: I got a rock.
And of course the memorable line from that famous song:
Why are all the hookers always hitting on me?
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