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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Latest from Xenu 

Retropolitan asks:

Did Isaac Hayes quit “South Park” because of Scientology, or did Scientology quit FOR him after he had a stroke, or did he not have a stroke and quit anyway?

I got lost in the initial round of speculative coverage.

See my previous speculative coverage here. And here. And here.

For whatever reason, I missed this March 30 article:

Despite denials by a spokesman for Isaac Hayes, FoxNews.com gossip columnist Roger Friedman is sticking to his story that Hayes suffered a stroke in January and that his decision to quit South Park had nothing to do with the show's treatment of Scientology.

Which is a followup to this March 28 article:

Isaac Hayes has denied a report by FoxNews.com gossip columnist Roger Friedman that he suffered a stroke in January and that his current condition was the actual reason for his decision to quit South Park. Through a spokeswoman, Hayes also denied that Scientology "handlers" were behind his sudden departure.

Nothing new on the Isaac Hayes website. No reports of recent visual sightings of Hayes.

Speaking of stroke survivors, what of Dick Clark? Well, his next enterprise opens at 10:00 am (Branson time) on April 21. Take that, Ryan Seacrest!

The Comets

There’s nothing like the real thing when it comes to good old rock ‘n’ roll, and that’s just what you’ll get when you see The Comets, of Bill Haley and the Comets. Real, live and authentic, The Comets—the first band to fuse country and western with rhythm and blues to create rock ‘n’ roll—bring the golden era of rock alive in the beautiful Dick Clark American Bandstand Theater. Featuring all five of the surviving members of Bill Haley and the Comets, these legendary performers will knock your socks off when they perform such beloved hits as “Rock Around the Clock,” “Shake Rattle n’ Roll,” and “See Ya Later Alligator,” as well as exciting all new material.

Yet they got the non-coveted 10:00 am slot. I blame Tom Cruise. Notice these events, which both took place in 1981:

Bill Haley, the "Father of Rock and Roll" passes away at the age of 56 of a heart attack.

Tom Cruise makes his feature film debut in Blue Lagoon.

And the connection? Well, I established one:

[S]ince 1978, when I finished the 'Old' OT 7 'Bridge'....(Yuck,, I hate calling it that even after all these years); 3 weeks after attesting to full OT 7, I was rushed to the U.C.L.A. emergency center hospital for what I thought was definitely a major coronary episode or heart attack of some kind. Before doing the OT levels in 1978, I was 26 years old and in PERFECT health with no family or otherwise history of coronary problems, or medical problems in general. I was a work horse of youthful health before I started the OT levels. Of course, after leaving the hospital after an evaluation of P.A.T. or 'pulmonary arterial thrombosis', I rushed to A.O.L.A. in Los Angeles where I got the usual 'out-ethics' run-around as a last resort for them when they can't figure out that it's actually their scientology 'OT' cult mind programming en masse that creates these problems in the first place. As a side note; before leaving the hospital after that episode, the doctor in charge handed me a card of a psychiatrist and said.."I think you might need this". What his thinking on that was I didn't ask, but he obviously noticed something from my behavior outside of what I thought was the medical issue in question.

Unfortunately, my bizarre theory falls apart:

Cruise joined Scientology in the late 1980s.

And if there was an alien involved in Haley's death, it was an alien inside his head:

After performing for Queen Elizabeth II at a command performance in 1979, Haley made his final performances in South Africa in May and June of 1980. Prior to the South African tour, he was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and a planned tour of Germany in the fall of 1980 was cancelled. Despite his ill health...there were plans for him to record an album in Memphis, Tennessee, when the brain tumor began affecting his behavior and he retired to his home in Harlingen, Texas where he died early on the morning February 9, 1981. Media reports immediately following his death indicated Haley displayed deranged and erratic behavior in his final weeks, although beyond a biography of Haley by John Swenson released a year later which describes Haley painting the windows of his home black and making rambling late-night phone calls to friends and relatives, there is little information extant about Haley's final days.

The exact cause of his death is controversial. Media reports, supported by Haley's death certificate (reproduced in the book Bill Haley: The Daddy of Rock and Roll by John Swenson), suggest he died of "natural causes most likely heart attack". Members of Haley's family, however, contest that he died from the brain tumor.

Ah, but maybe there is a connection:

Every physical body has a "thetan," or soul, that inhabits it. The thetans are reincarnated from one body to another. Any physical problems that the body encounters -- from a common cold to a brain tumor -- are the results of painful emotional experiences the thetan previously experienced. These experiences are called engrams. Scientology aims to get rid of a thetan's engrams by confessional sessions called auditing, in which a believer will detail painful, traumatic events to a church member in order to reach the level of "clear," and ultimately the level of "operating thetan."

Well, if L. Ron Hubbard was so galactically advanced, he presumably wouldn't have serious health problems, would he? One website (ironically hosted at Earthlink) says that Hubbard may not have died of natural causes:

On January 24 1986, under circumstances that can at best be characterised as 'suspicious', L. Ron Hubbard died. Although his condition had been steadily deteriorating for years, even the coronor noted that there were irregularities surrounding his death, including the presence in his body of vast quantities of Vistaril, a powerful ani-psychotic medication. Just days before Hubbard's death, his personal physician, Scientologist Gene Denk, left for a gambling vacation in Las Vegas with some of Hubbard's top aides, including Gamboa, Miscavige and wife, and the Aznarans. By the time he returned, there was nothing he could do. Hubbard died, and the battle for control of his legacy, which had been simmering for years, took centre stage....

Here's an account from a former Scientologist:

I went to San Luis Obispo, the county seat for where Hubbard died. It was there that I got the full coroner's report from a very friendly deputy sheriff. I poured over the pages and noticed that something called Vistaril® was found in Hubbard's blood. Since the cause of death was a stroke, I assumed it was a stroke medication so I didn't bother further. Several days later, I called a physician friend and was going over the documents and the medical language.
"By the way,? I asked casually, "what's Vistaril®?"

"A psychiatric tranquilizer," he answered matter-of-factly.

I nearly dropped the phone.

"Excuse me," I said in near-shock, "but what did you say?"

"Vistaril® is a psychiatric tranquilizer, usually injected through the buttocks."

I flipped to the document where the Coroner had examined Hubbard's body. I read it to my friend, about the needle puncture wounds found on the left buttock, under a band-aid. "Could that be the Vistaril® shots," I asked.

"Probably," he said. "That's where they are usually given."

I looked at the Coroner's report and the blood sample report.

Holy shit, I said to myself, in my best French. Holy fucking shit....

Okay, I said to myself, lets see if we understand this. Hubbard signs a will while on the psychiatric tranquilizer Vistaril® and then dies. The coroner cannot conduct an autopsy because Hubbard also signed a paper (also while on Vistaril®?) prohibiting an autopsy on religious grounds. The Scientologist doctor who was in attendance (except when he went to Lake Tahoe and Hubbard had the stroke) signs the death certificate as the physician attending to Hubbard and then disappears for a year. Then even though David Miscavige has nothing else in writing from Hubbard, he cancels Hubbard's last message and hat transfer to trusted aide Broeker and ousts Broeker, who disappears while his wife is turned into a compliant vegetable, leaving DM in charge.

Nope, nothing wrong here, I facetiously thought. No outpoints, borrowing Hubbard's word for oddities.

I had to take a walk.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

VERY interesting!
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