More reasons why fan is short for fanatic


From The Scotsman, December 2005:


[A] judge in New Mexico ordered multi-millionaire TV star David Letterman to keep away from Colleen Nestler - a decision his lawyers described as ludicrous.

Mr Letterman, she claims, announced his intention to marry her by using "code words, eye gestures and facial expressions" on his late-night show, and also planned to train her to be his co-host. She said that his "mental cruelty" had prevented her from sleeping properly for more than a decade.



This was eventually thrown out on a technicality:


Later in the proceeding, [District Judge Daniel] Sanchez — who said it is his common practice to read filings in a case thoroughly — asked [Colleen] Nestler whether her allegations against Letterman took place in New Mexico.

“They haven’t , no,” she said. “They have all taken place when I was in the East and before I moved to the East.”

Sanchez then clarified the question, asking if any contacts took place in New Mexico between her and Letterman.

“You could say so, yes,” Nestler said. “In subtle ways. He constantly harasses me. He’s a very powerful man. He’s into mind control. He’s into control and manipulation.”

Sanchez asked her the nature of the contacts.

“He has called just to remind me to think of him by calling and hanging up,” she said. “It’s a trick he’s done. He will use any device at his hand that’s subtle and undetectable by any court of law.”

Nestler admitted she had no proof of the alleged phone calls.

Pat Rogers, Letterman’s Albuquerque lawyer, argued the order exceeded the court’s jurisdiction and said Letterman is entitled to protection of his legal rights and his reputation.

Not long after, Sanchez signed the order voiding the temporary restraining order.



More here (via YouTube).

Here's a more recent story:


Helen Harris-Scott alleges that she began declaring her love and admiration for Jackson though cards and letters in 1986. Harris-Scott claims that although Jackson was shy, he still responded to her through his music.

However, Harris-Scott says that things drastically changed for the worse in 1987, as she claims he flattened her tires and messed around with her brake system. In addition, she claims that Jackson had a GPS tracking system installed in her car and had her phone tapped.

Harris-Scott even goes as far as to say that Jackson had a team of organized criminals observing her every move.



And Britney Spears seems to be stalking Brangelina:


"Deputy Tourism Minister Leon Jooste confirmed that he received a telephonic enquiry from Spears' office to have her second baby born in Namibia," the Namibian Broadcasting Corporation (NBC) said Friday.


But everyone is obsessing on Britney Spearmint (which sounds better than Broccoli Spears, I guess). Floyd is asking his readers to tell the difference between Britney Spearmint and Transitioning Bill Gates:


After watching Brittney, I flipped channels and found an interview with Bill Gates, the richest man in the universe and beyond.

So let's see if you can guess what happened in which interview:

- One subject chewed gum through the entire chat. Said subject worked that gum like a starving cow working his way through his cud.

- One subject sported false eyelashes that made Tammy Faye pea green with envy. Such eyelashes made me have nightmares about spiders all freakin night long.

- One subject made me seriously concerned that I was about to see some nipplage. And let's be clear, I want to see neither Britney's nor Bill's love nubbins.

- One subject said they loved their spouse because that person was "so simple". Ummm...yeah.....has someone informed this person that "simple" can also mean "needs to wear a helmet to avoid self-injury"?

- One subject compared themselves to Julia Roberts and accussed Ms. Roberts of stealing her husband away from another woman. I'm sure Julia was sitting at home going "Oh no, she didn't! I will kick that homespun bitch's ass!"

- One subject kept showing Matt what god gave her every time she crossed her legs. Sharon Stone was in awe of her technique. Matt, on the other hand, looked a little green around the gills.

- One subject seemeed baffled by the use of big words and could occassionally be seen rolling her eyes into the back of her head as if she had a cheat sheet stapled on the back of her eyelids.

- One clearly needs to hire new hair and make-up people cause Liza Minnelli is looking more natural.

- One is excited about the future of robotics and elminating malaria in third world countries.

The similarities are astounding, aren't they? Hard to tell which interview was which! It's like they share the same brain!



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From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

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