WHY YOU SHOULD NOT POST IN ALL CAPS


Please, please, don't post in all caps. You'd think that this was the highlight of David's life:

I WAS ON THE AIR WITH ANDREW SICILIANO HOST OF FOX SPORTS RADIOS THE DRIVE I TALKED ABOUT THE CLEVELAND INDIANS AND THE NEW YORK GIANTS TOO TEAMS THAT ARE NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART AND WHEN I GET MARRIED THOSE ARE THE TEAMS MY WIFE WILL HAVE TO LIKE TO.


Must like Indians and Giants? Some of the real personals are funny enough. These personals, by the way, are from the state of Oregon, which explains everything about them.

Youthful fairy woman of royal blood, 63 y.o. 5'4", 120 lbs, ISO male sprite of similar age with nobility of heart and mind for long term companionship and the practice of radiant being. VM# 5733
Petite, Earthly-spiritual, SPF ISO SPM 38-52, slow progression to LTR, friends first-hiking, bicycling, coast, Bijou, music, dancing. What do you think it takes to develop and maintain a LTR? Write Blind Box 'Earthly'
33 y.o. large and lovely Goddess and mom of 2 seeks humorous God between 27-50 who's liberal to enjoy movies, poetry, live music and more. NS, ND. Herb friendly. Friends first. VM# 5715
Virgo seeks Capricorn (20s). Painter, poet, musician. Alchemist caught between two worlds. 34, but not hideous. Can cook, dance. Loves love. Wants kids, farm. What can I do for you. VM# 5795
SUBMISSIVE WOMAN WANTED

Not seeking cook or maid. Me: attractive SWM, 6', nicely-built, nonbalding dark hair, financially independent, health conscious, nonsmoker, experienced, safe, gentle, creative, good conversationalist. You: feminine, sensuous, healthy, childless SWF, interested in psychological exploration. Write "Resident", POB 25160, Portland, 97298. Please include phone. VM# 5466


Completely unrelated fun fact:

Hillary Clinton was on the board of Wal-Mart for six years!


From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Comments

Jennifer said…
I wonder how many hate letters the Man Seeking Submissive Woman has received.

And the Goddess shouldn’t have any trouble finding a man who thinks he is God.
Monday, May 08, 2006 5:42:00 AM
Ontario Emperor said…
I'm just surprised that ANYONE is using the term "bijou" any more.
Monday, May 08, 2006 8:00:00 AM
exile said…
seeking SWF who is a good listener, will enjoy watching sci-fi, does not mind moving into my parents basement, and will not deflate. ability to speak english is optional.
Monday, May 08, 2006 1:24:00 PM
Ontario Emperor said…
I guess the residents of Orange County, California aren't interested in fairy women or earthly spiritual people.

When I read the "Resident" entry, I checked the zip code to make sure it didn't correspond to a jail or prison.

More about personals in a bit.
Monday, May 08, 2006 5:10:00 PM
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