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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Breaking up is hard to do 

From Mitzee and Rambling Rhodes and uj-vixxy. Edited.

just got an e about 'bad break ups'. tis funny. one says "Lost Dog; Breed, Slut; Likes to sniff..(coke).. Answers to Heather Malone; last seen; [enjoying the company of] Mike Froland."

And there's a story (from Shora) behind the advertisement:

I know her!! She and Mike have been engaged for almost a year. Rick, the guy who created and posted these, is her ex-boyfriend. She ditched him after catching him boinking her sister in the woods behind her parents' house during a family party. Rick has some serious issues and this is his way of getting back at her. Heather is an absolute sweetheart and is mortified by all this. You're awful Mitz for propagating it!

(ok, I totally made all that up)

Meanwhile, it turns out that Heather Malone is a fictional character in a Barbara Delinsky novel, An Accidental Woman. Cindy Lynn Speer provides a synopsis:

Heather Malone and her beloved Micah Smith are awakened one morning by the FBI. They think Heather is another woman entirely, a Lisa Matlock, a woman wanted for the hit and run murder of a powerful politician's son.

Don't know if the politician was named Froland. But there's another Heather Malone that is very real - well, maybe parts of her are unreal, even if she's not from El-Lay. Malone was a college student who was featured in a publication:

If you've been frequenting the bookstores around town lately, you may have noticed that Playboy's October issue has hit the racks (no pun intended) with very special relevance to our little town. What's so special about this one? Five words: The Girls of Conference USA.

That's right -- four of the University of Louisville's most beautiful women have bared all for the very first issue featuring the best of what Conference USA has to offer....

"Honestly, I think Louisville had the best looking girls out of all the other colleges," said Eva ReneƩ, a twenty-year-old marketing major who was one of U of L's "girls" featured in this month's spread. Joining ReneƩ for the snapshot were Brittany Leigh and Julie Geoghegan, both 20, and ER nurse Heather Malone, 26.

For the record, the Louisville Malone was blonde, while the Brooklyn Malone was not. Don't know about the fictional Malone.

And it appears that Mike Froland only exists in the poster - couldn't find any other reference to him. Perhaps I'll have to make some up. He could be the new Lifestyles commentator for KOER or something.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

I don't know about the novel, but Heather seems to be real. Here is the poster:


Look at the photos of the woman.

Here is a poker player page for a woman identifying herself as Heather Malone (and the handle "Hotitotty") of Brooklyn. Look at the face. It's clearly the same woman.
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