Signs of Age
I found a homemade laminated card while I was cleaning. Here's the front:

Official Membership Card
This card certifies that
Wasp The Houseboy
is a Charter Member of
The Grotto BBS

(Bloose & Starfish, if you're surfing, I adopted a new handle six years ago.)

Here's the back:

Terms and Conditions
(The really really small print!)
Bearer agrees to all foregoing terms and conditions and hereby releases all
other life forms from any and all forms of liability arising from the use of
this card. Do not fold, bend or mutilate. Observe proper laundering instructions
found on back of garment. Do not remove this tag under penalty
of law. Do not inhale contents. Void where taxed, licensed or prohibited.
No stopping at any time. Curb your dog. Animals must be kept on leash
at all times. Do not induce vomiting. No lifeguard on duty, use at your
own risk. Avoid breathing fumes. Keep away from open flame. Contents
under pressure. Do not puncture or incinerate. Extremely flammable. Keep
out of reach of children. Contains narcotics. May cause overstimulation.
Meets or exceeds 100% of minimum daily requirements of toxics & poison
Warning: Surgeon General has determined ingestion of this card to be
hazardous to your health.

How does this show my age? Simple. Try explaining to a 13 year old what a "BBS" is. I was stumped.