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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Ceremony (Old Order) 

It was a little after 6:00 in the morning in the Pacific time zone, and the sun had not yet risen as the ceremony commenced. Sure, Brit Hume and his buddies were covering Gerald Ford's flag-draped casket over 2,000 miles away, but Ford is best understood via a ceremony that was not covered by the networks - a ceremony in which I was proud to have participated.

First, I had to clothe myself in the appropriate attire. This particular ceremony did not call for a tuxedo, which would not have been appropriate at all. I specifically donned a San Francisco sweater, symbolizing the western half of our great country, and then I covered that with a leather jacket that was purchased from Target, representing the eastern half of our great country. (Yes, I realize that Minneapolis is on the west bank of the Mississippi. I hope you'll pardon me.)

Then, through a processional that involved many door openings, door closings, and use of a garage door key (not to be confused with the Office of the Keys), I transported the three cans out of my back yard, through the garage, and into my front yard.

One of these cans contained trash. In this ceremony, the trash represented the debris of the sordid portions of the Richard M. Nixon Administration (not to be confused with the non-sordid portions), which was being removed from my premises. Truly, our long household nightmare was over.

The other two cans represented a new beginning that emerged during the Ford Administration. Remember Johnny Horizon? I sure do. In fact, in my younger years, I put a sticker on my bedroom door from Johnny Horizon - "Let's clean up America for our 200th birthday." OK, maybe we didn't complete the task, but the fact that I was carting out recycling cans this morning indicated that we are still trying.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

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