Ontario Empoblog

Technorati Test

2007-02-24T21:16:00.000-08:00

Technorati does not appear to be responding to pings for my new blog, mrontemp.blogspot.com.

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

Hiatus

2007-02-09T23:59:00.000-08:00

The Ontario Empoblog is shutting down, at least temporarily.

In fact I'm ceasing activity on all of my existing Blogger blogs, and redirecting people to mrontemp, my new Blogger blog.

One of the reasons for this is a change in style. My blog posts (in this blog especially) have become long posts that morph from one subject to another in a non-toadlike wild ride of whatevers. As you can see from my first few posts in mrontemp, I'm trying a more succinct style.

We'll see how it goes. Catch you at mrontemp.

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

Stakeholder Request

2007-02-09T08:12:00.000-08:00

mrontemp stands for Mister Ontario Emperor, natch.

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

Watch Out Miss Club Paris USA, There's a New, More Timely Beauty Queen Contest

2007-02-08T12:41:00.000-08:00

It was over a month ago that I wrote about the Miss Club Paris USA contest, which was coming soon. Real Soon Now, I guess.

You'll recall that Paris Hilton reached an agreement with Fred Khalilian to promote Club Paris in Orlando and Jacksonville, but wasn't all that committed to the promoting duties. So Khalilian dumped Hilton, and announced a contest to name someone as Miss Club Paris USA. Supposedly a network deal was in the works, and all sorts of wonderful things were going to happen.

As far as I can tell, nothing has happened yet. I guess Fox isn't ready to pull 24 off its schedule to insert "The Replacement."

Meanwhile, another beauty contest has kicked off:

Meet Miss Atomic Bomb 1957!

Why should nuclear bombs have spokespersons and not Hoax Devices?

We'd like to keep the tradition alive and present to the world MISS HOAX DEVICE 2007. Please submit casting applications to us at:

hoaxdevices@gmail.com

With subject: MISS HOAX DEVICE 2007 APPLICATION

Include a photo which we can use, and which shows why you should be MISS HOAX DEVICE 2007, and a short text describing your qualifications. Please limit photos to 700 pixels wide. If we need a bigger one we'll ask.

Pageant dates to be announced.

Good luck.

Inasmuch as this is a sexist competition, Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens are not eligible to participate.

(Does this post make me the first person to mention Paris Hilton and Peter Berdovsky at the same time? The mind reels.)

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

Sean Carton's Five Rules of Viral Marketing

2007-02-07T12:25:00.000-08:00

With a brief nod to Cartoon Network and Peter Berdovsky, Sean Carton of idfive has published his list of five rules of viral marketing (or guerilla marketing). Here is the expurgated version:

If you want to generate word-of-mouth, don't try to be hip.

Destruction of property or intruding into people's comfort zones will only backfire.

You can't fake authenticity.

Know your audience.

Love your customers.

Carton cites a number of examples in his article, but it may be fun to apply the general concepts to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force promotion. Once you do, you run into the "this promotion has multiple audiences" problem. By their positioning, the electronic devices could be seen by Adult Swim fans...and they could be seen by Thomas Menino.

This is not good.

Not necessarily that you can only advertise in places where Adult Swim fans will congregate, but just bear in mind that the vast majority of people on your average street corner won't know Adult Swim from YCMA Swim. If no one had thought that these items were bombs, then the promotion would have...um...bombed, and the six hundred dollars in labor costs would have been wasted.

To cite a semi-related example, it's lucky that the whole Pedro for President thing wasn't conducted as a viral marketing campaign. When you sell the shirts, then the shirt owners have some sense of pride or whatever in promoting Pedro (similar to what you can find for people who wear designer clothing). But let's say that people decided to give the shirts away to 500 hip and trendy people in Manhattan and Ibiza; what would have happened? (And by the way, if you don't know what "Pedro for President" stands for, don't worry - I didn't know either, and once I found out, I didn't really care. Napoleon, Schmapoleon.)

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

If at first you don't succeed...

2007-02-07T11:45:00.000-08:00

Radio station KLAC played a commercial for Dinovite. This product claims to do wonderful things for dogs:

I'm Ed Lukacevic, developer, manufacturer and distributer of Dinovite® Dog Supplement. Let me explain a little about why I developed this all natural dog supplement and what it can do to help make your dog the healthy, happy canine he was meant to be!...

Over the years, while raising and training my own dogs on our farm in Kentucky, I struggled to keep them in top-notch condition. Like you, I've seen dogs plagued with bad skin, allergies and other canine maladies. I tried almost everything on the market and spent tons of money on the vet with no real results. It became clear to me that many dog health problems have their root in some sort of nutrient deficiency. Unfortunately, even with the best dog food, dog nutritional requirements are usually not being met....

Considering my history with dogs and other animals, finding a solution to these dog health problems was a natural step for me. Through personal study and methodical, real world, hands on testing I systematically formulated natural dog supplement "recipes" that eventually resulted in Dinovite® Dog Food Supplement....

Our natural dog supplement proved to correct the problems that plague so many dogs. After many friends, family and canine professionals used Dinovite® and got remarkable results for their ailing dogs, we decided to make our dog supplement available online.

This is then followed by a number of testimonials, similar to the ones I heard on the radio commercial. These claims, consisting of anecdotal evidence, awoke the skeptic in me. Unfortunately, anyone who advertises on the radio and cites customer testimonials (instead of scientific studies) gets lumped in with other companies that use the same tactic, such as penis enlargement peddlers.

So I was curious to see if anyone had claimed that Dynovite is a worthless scam. I searched the 'Net, but I only found two claims that Dinovite is a ripoff.

The first, dated December 8, 2006, was filed by Suzanne in Plano, Texas:

My husband purchased a 5 lb. container of Dinovite for $59.00 after hearing a radio ad. We received the container and began feeding our two Sable Cockers the Dinovite food supplement. Within 48 hours we had to stop feeding the Dinovite because our pets are highly allergic to three ingredients contained in the Dinovite. I contacted Dinovite to return the food and get a refund. They insist you MUST FEED the Dinovite for 90 days BEFORE THEY WILL HONOR THE MONEY BACK GUARANTEE. If I continue to feed my dogs this crap,they may be dead in 90 days. Now I can't get any response from the owner. No phone call, no e-mail, no nothing. PET OWNERS BEWARE. IF YOU BUY DINOVITE AND YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU ARE OUT OF LUCK ON GETTING A REFUND OF ANY KIND. I CALL THAT A RIP-OFF.

Suzanne
Plano, Texas
U.S.A.

On December 17, Ed Lukacevic from Dinovite responded as follows (in part):

Suzanne,

I'm sorry Dinovite did not work for your dog. I've not received any emails from you, it is possible you responded to an auto email, I don't check these.

I'm not sure why you have chosen to blast our company and product instead of just sending your order back and receiving your refund. There is no catch 22 just send it back and we will refund the purchase price less shipping.

I've posted our Guarantee and return policy below for your review and others reading this comment.

The guarantee and return policy, which is posted in two locations [1] [2] on Dinovite's website, reads (in part) as follows:

We are so confident that your dog will benefit from Dinovite® that we invite you to use it for a full 90 days at no risk.

The bottom line is we want every dog to get a fair shake and we want all of our customers to be completely satisfied. That is why we encourage you to feed Dinovite® for 90 days.

Use the recommended dosage and size container for your dog. Feed the Dinovite every day for 90 days to give your dog the time he needs to reap the benefits. If you are still not satisfied with Dinovite® we will gladly refund your money (minus shipping).

Please don't rush to return the product before you have given your dog a chance to benefit! Feed it for 90 days.

Back to the thread of the original complaint. P of Colorado Springs, Colorado replied:

You missed the point of the original poster - the dogs are allergic to the ingredients and feeding it for 90 days would probably kill them. The complaint was that your company REQUIRED the use of the product for 90 days before you would consider a refund - your own post supports the complaint....

This prompted the following response from Ed on December 18:

Our company has never refused a refund whether the product was used for 1 day or 90 days. Our bottom line concern is customer satisfaction and their dog's well being.

As I stated earlier just send it back and we will issue a refund of the purchase price less shipping.

So it's still unclear what Dinovite's official return policy is. Their website proclaims over and over that you have to feed the product for 90 days, but in at least one instance they offered to issue a refund after the product was used for a much shorter period of time.

Anyway, this was the first complaint about Dinovite. Now let's look at the second:

This company CLAIMS it will help you pet if they have allergies. WRONG!!!!! IF YOUR pet ALREADY has allergies, IT CAN MAKE MATTERS MUCH WORSE. Both of our pets suffer from allergies and after feeding them Dinovite for three days, they were off to the vet again!!!!!! We can't get a refund because you have to feed this crap to your pets for 90 days. Good ole catch 22!!!! At the end of 90 days you will either have a sicker pet than when you began or you will have higher vet bills, or BOTH.

Dinovite will not respond to numerous e-mails, mail, etc. Bottom line is you buy it and there is no recourse for getting your money back.So buyer beware!!!! $59.49 down the drain for pet food and a vet bill to boot!!!

Suzanne
Plano, Texas
U.S.A.

Yup, the same woman (Suzanne) who filed the complaint on December 8 went ahead and filed a nearly identical complaint at the same website a week later. Don't know if Dinovite was prompted to respond because of the second complaint, or whether Dinovite just responded to the first complaint and didn't even know about the second one.

The fact that Suzanne didn't log a third complaint may be attribute to one of the following reasons:

Suzanne read Dinovite's December 18 comment, returned the product, got a refund, and was (relatively) happy.

Suzanne was busy complaining to another vendor.

Suzanne forgot to pay her Internet access bill.

Other than Suzanne, the closest thing that I found to a negative testimonial about Dynovite was the following:

So far so good
Posted by: Jenny from Utah on 6/19/2006...

My German shepherd had horrible gas. We tried everything, from gas pills, changing diets, and prescription food to daily zinc and acidophillys pills. Nothing worked. after a week or so of taking dinovite, her gas is completly gone (or at least the smell is gone). We are still waiting to see results for her skin and coat, and her joints. She has been on it for 2 months now.

And even that review can't technically be considered negative, since Jenny still has a month to go. And her house smells nicer.

(If you are interested, for scholarly reasons, in selected topics listed above, check my del.icio.us tags for dog and penis....Up go the corporate firewalls.)

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

Why I was thinking about Carter and Reagan

2007-02-06T13:02:00.000-08:00

Ran across this quote while reading a review of the Douglas Brinkley book on Gerald Ford:

Ford — nearly 90 when Brinkley interviewed him — was still smarting over Reagan having challenged him for the Republican nomination in 1976, saying it was "a low-down stunt" that "really burned the hell out of me." Had Reagan earnestly campaigned for the incumbent instead of giving him a lukewarm endorsement after losing the GOP nomination, Ford said he could have beaten Carter....

Carter and Ford developed a warm working relationship that Brinkley describes in some detail. (Carter also has harbored bitter feelings toward Reagan, whose administration broke with the custom of giving national security briefings to former presidents. Several years after losing his 1980 bid for a second term, Carter told me, "I don't know who hates him more, me or Jerry Ford.")

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

In which I prove that I sometimes emerge from the Adult Swim Aqua

2007-02-06T12:38:00.000-08:00

Haven't had a chance to write about these, but here are some other del.icio.us tags that I've recently created:

global+warming

ice+age

interglacial+period

ozone+layer

urban+heat+island+effect

And it all started here:

Would New Orleans and the nearby Gulf Coast [had suffered] so terribly...if President Carter beat back Reagan in 1980?

I am wondering if those voters in Louisiana and Mississippi who helped polluter-allied Reagan win in 1980 would have found themselves fated differently under a second Carter term. If Carter came in, we could have had an alternative fuels program and tighter auto emission standards in effect by now.

Sparked by his prodding, we might have had decades of global warming controls in place.

Whose to say if those steps might not have rendered the waters of the Atlantic and Gulf even 1/100th of a degree cooler than they are now?...

Since hurricanes need warm water to feed, what if that temperature difference- however slight- might have caused Katrina to be slightly weaker? What if that, in turn, would have caused Lake Pontchartrain, which ultimately connects to the Gulf-to be a little "kinder and gentler?"

In this cause-and-effect natural world of ours, this might have meant the big brackish lake that forms New Orleans' northern boundary might have crested just short of the levees rather than breaching them.

Maybe, maybe, maybe. On the other hand, perhaps a Carter win would have meant different strategies for the Department of Agriculture, resulting in additional promotions and visibility for Bennett C. Landreneau. And maybe, just maybe, after the September 11 attack (perhaps during the presidency of Joe Biden), and the resulting calls to create a unified Department of Homeland Security...well, maybe, just maybe, Landreneau may have been named to that important post.

Then things would have REALLY been fun.

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

In which we enter the alternative universe in which police always believe dreadlocked individuals

2007-02-06T11:53:00.000-08:00

I previously raised the question about whether Interference Inc. was prompt in letting the authorities know that the so-called bombs in Boston weren't bombs.

Now a new question has been raised - was Peter Berdovsky prompt in letting Interference Inc. know that the guerilla marketing campaign had gone sour? And should he have informed the on-scene officers that there was nothing to worry about?

The issue was raised because Berdovsky videotaped police at a (supposed) bomb site. This is what the Associated Press said:

One of the men criminally charged after placing blinking cartoon advertisements around the city videotaped a police bomb squad removing one of the electronic devices, but did not tell the officers the object was harmless.

Surveillance cameras caught 27-year-old Peter Berdovsky videotaping officers removing what they thought was a possible bomb.

But Walter Prince, Berdovsky's new layer (replacing semi-guardian Michael Rich), puts a different spin on the whole thing:

Prince said Berdovsky had received a call that morning from a friend who told him there was a bomb threat at the Sullivan Square transit station in Boston. He said Berdovsky grabbed his camera and headed out to the scene, unaware it involved one of the electronic devices that he and Sean Stevens, 28, had hung....

"That's what he does. He videotapes things. He's a videotape freelance artist. He got a call that there was a bomb threat near his house and he went to tape it," Prince said. "When he got there, he realized what was going on, and he went back to his apartment and called his employer, and they told him they would take care of it. That's not an inappropriate response."

Even asuming that Berdovsky immediately called Interference Inc., some people still aren't happy with what Berdovsky did or didn't do:

Every time the general public begins to soften a bit regarding their plight, new revelations of astoundingly selfish behavior emerge. Now, we're told Berdovsky and Stevens actually videotaped authorities detonating their cartoon devices from the scene...

So, in the view of these people, Berdovsky should have dropped his video camera and immediately informed the police about the whole situation. I'm trying to imagine what that would look like...

(dream sequence music)

OFFICER JONES: Be careful as you approach that thing. No idea what it is.

OFFICER SMITH: Yeah, who knows what those wires lead to?

OFFICER JONES: And I don't like the fact that it's giving me the finger.

PASSERBY: Hey!

OFFICER JONES: Who's that guy in dreadlocks that's yelling at us?

OFFICER SMITH: Stand back, sir! This is a potentially dangerous situation.

PASSERBY: No it isn't.

OFFICER JONES: A potential bomb in the middle of the city is definitely a dangerous situation.

PASSERBY: It's not a bomb!

OFFICER SMITH: We don't know what it is yet, so we have to take precautions. Now stand back.

PASSERBY: It's not a bomb! It's a promotional display.

OFFICER JONES: Yes, a promotional display that just happens to be in a crowded city and just happens to be electronically wired. Move back, son.

PASSERBY: It's a promotional display for the TV show Aqua Teen Hunger Force. It's been up for three weeks now. It's not a bomb.

OFFICER SMITH: Aqua Teen Hunger Force? Are you on drugs, son?

PASSERBY: My friend and I set them up over the last few weeks. We got paid three hundred bucks each. They're all over the city.

OFFICER JONES: Did you say these devices are all over the city?

PASSERBY: Yeah. A few dozen of them.

OFFICER SMITH: We need backup! Get Homeland Security! Boston's about to blow!

(chaos ensues - end dream sequence music)

In other words, it's very doubtful that a cop would have believed a dreadlocked guy who claimed that the devices were not bombs.

Too bad.

P.S. Some other comments on the latest. From Media Log (this is the amended version):

Today's Herald story reporting that Peter Berdovsky...videotaped law enforcement's Mooninite freak-out is a great scoop, assuming it holds up. Nice work by Michele McPhee.

That said, I'm puzzled by the "high-ranking BPD official" who claimed that this videotaping provides the proof of "intent" that prosecutors need to make their case. Here's the quote in question:

"The minute they knew that police officers were racing across the city, firefighters were racing to the scene, and bomb techs were suiting up, and they did not call 911 [sic]. That--that forms intent. Their being there could provide the proof of intent prosecutors need."...

I'm no attorney, but on a common-sense level, this doesn't necessarily work.

And from Reality Checks:

Can you believe that this won't even be settled until MARCH 7?!!! Turner can buy [itself] out right away but these guys continue to be Stupid Boston officials' scapegoats And I repeat, STUPID! Just watch these press conferences these idiots have and try to figure out with me how these guys got voted into office. And just think, Turner stated in [its] buyout deal that [it] should be given all the blame. And these guys continue to be held hostage!

I'm sure there will be more conversation all over the map on this one.

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss, but the hyenas shout "No king"

2007-02-05T12:03:00.000-08:00

[TALK ABOUT CLINTONESQUE. I MANAGED TO MISSPELL THE WORD "IS" IN THE LAST PARAGRAPH. OOPS.]

Followup.

Take a gander at this sentence, which appeared in an Ambos Medios ad for Hippie Chick Twang:

This is a guerilla marketing organization that works outside the box to creatively get the message out about books, art, and music to the industry and the consumer market where their work will be loved!

If the ad had only mentioned empowerment of the individual, it would have been a perfect example of New Thinking and the End of Corporate Domination. It would inspire you to use this guerilla marketing organization, in which response is fast, hierarchies are non-existent, and -

Wait a minute. While guerilla marketing organizations have the veneer of New Whatevers, the January 31 (never forget) episode in Boston reveals that there are definite hierarchies in the guerilla marketing world.

Let's start at the top of well-known guerilla marketer Interference Inc. with Sam Ewen. He goes around giving seminars:

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Going Guerilla - A Workshop On Making The Most Of Your Street And Guerilla Promotions
9am-12pm

With street promotion, PR stunts, Public Events, Landscape Marketing and Nightlife promotion gaining a bigger share of marketing dollars, it is more important than ever to do it right and deliver the impact that you want with your campaign. This workshop will focus on the nuts and bolts of event creation as well as measurement and maximizing your impact.

A selection of topics to be covered:

What works on/in the field and what to avoid.
Are some markets better than others?
How much should guerilla marketing cost?
How to create guerrilla marketing that stands out from the rest.
How to get Press for your marketing campaigns.
To get permits or not to get permits, that is the question.
How best to define your target and the benefit of live profiling.
How much of your budget should you allocate to guerilla marketing?
Extending the life of your street promotions beyond the event days.

The buzz on buzz continues to build. Find out why and how you can master the discipline in this unique half day workshop.

Workshop Leader: Sam Travis Ewen
CEO and Founder, Interference Inc.

But Ewen's too busy giving the seminars to go out and guerilla market any more, so he has people. One of his people is Adrienne Yee. Adrienne was the contact person for this Interference Inc. job recruitment ad - an ad which shows the levels within Interference Inc.

2006-10-05 20:35:39 - Project Coordinator, NYC

Other
New York, NY

Details:
Company: Interference Inc.
Position: Project Coordinator
Position Type: Full-Time
Experience: Proven initiative, detail-oriented, and ability to work in fast past environment
Degree: Bachelors Degree
Salary: $35,000
Location: New York, NY

THE COMPANY

Interference Inc. is a world-renowned experiential marketing agency specializing in integrated, guerrilla and buzz marketing. This boutique agency’s impressive client roster and highly-touted event marketing programs are leading to rapid growth that makes this a particularly exciting opportunity. Please visit www.interferenceinc.com for further details on the company.

JOB SUMMARY

The project coordinator reports directly to the Head of Project Management. Overall role includes supporting the production and client services groups in executing marketing promotions on a local and national scale.

ESSENTIAL FUNCTIONS

· Support company in planning, budgeting, and executing small and large scale events and street promotions.
· Assist in monitoring events in the field. This position will require some travel.
· Research, resource, and coordinate program development and execution
· Assist in developing, producing, editing, and distributing internal and client correspondence including: emails, status reports, presentations, event recaps, and other communications.
· Assist in the planning of and attend all necessary production, client, and account-related meetings. Meeting examples include: conference calls, brainstorming sessions, recap meetings, program events and other interactions.
· Assist in maintaining budgets (expense reconciliations, budget tracking, etc)
· Inventory management (uniforms, premiums, equipment, etc)
· Staff programs based on staff profile requirements

REQUIREMENTS

· Extremely organized individual who is a self-starter and able to learn quickly in a fast-paced environment
· Proficient in all MS applications including MS Outlook, PowerPoint, Excel and Word
· Strong writing and communication skills

Contact person: Adrienne Yee
Adrienne@Interferenceinc.com

So now you see that Sam Ewen has project managers, project coordinators, production groups, client services groups, and presumably someone to run to the indie coffeeshop before it closes at midnight.

So are these the guerilla marketers? Nope. Interference Inc. uses one or more levels of contractors:

In a State Police report, investigators say that [Peter] Berdovsky told them he met a man in Brooklyn last November who asked him to participate in a “promotional stunt” and steered him to Interference.

So there's the possibility that the initial person who contacted Berdovsky wasn't even an Interference Inc. employee, but someone who referred Berdovsky to Interference.

So did Interference hire Berdovsky? Nope.

The company promised to pay Berdovsky and [Sean] Stevens $300 each to install 40 of the signs around Boston.

So, let's follow the trail here. Someone in Adult Swim decides to promote Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and the Adult Swim person contacts someone in Cartoon Network, then either someone in Cartoon Network or parent Turner Broadcasting contacts Interference Inc., perhaps talking with Sam Ewen, perhaps not. Interference Inc. puts the word out on the party circuit, and rounds up $600 in cash for the Boston, Massachusetts portion of the promotion.

So much for no hierarchy. Perhaps the Adult Swim person could have flown to Boston and installed the devices, eliminating the middleman. But he wouldn't have had the benefit of an e-mail instruction manualette:

A marketing company official, whom Berdovsky identified as Adrienne Yee, sent him an e-mail listing the “do’s and don’ts” of where to place the signs. Target areas included train stations, overpasses, “hip and trendy areas, high traffic areas of high visibility.”

Things go well for several weeks, until Peter was watching TV one day:

[L]ate Wednesday morning...the friends saw television footage of police blowing up one of the signs and realized what was happening. The friends e-mailed links to the footage to one another. About 1:25 p.m. Berdovsky e-mailed several friends and said the advertising firm had told him to keep quiet, friends said.

Here the accounts diverge. Here's one version:

Interference did not contact the police. Turner Broadcasting claims that it didn’t hear from Interference about the uproar until 5pm that afternoon. Meanwhile, the city of Boston was paralyzed, federal officials were rushing to the scene, and US Northern Command was monitoring the situation at its Colorado Springs headquarters.

According to the [Boston] Globe, Interference didn’t even have the decency to post bond for Stevens and Berdovsky.

Here's another version, this one from Sam Ewen:

We first received word of the situation when our contracted employee, Peter Berdovsky, called our office to explain that the marketing campaign had become a story in the local news. We immediately informed Turner Broadcasting System of this.

By the way, isn't "contracted employee" an oxymoron? Or was Ewen loath to admit that Interference Inc. doesn't actually do any guerilla marketing themselves? But Ewen then indirectly slaps his "contracted employee":

At no time, and in no way, did we ever seek to hide our involvement in this situation or ask or direct others to do so. Additionally, in no way did we delay our response to the situation. Any statement to that end is completely false. On the contrary, we contacted the authorities immediately in order to rectify this unfortunate situation. We are continuing to cooperate with the ongoing investigation.

Predictably, the blogosphere is going after Ewen:

Meanwhile, Mr. Ewen (who shut down Interference's website for two days after the incident) added a video on Thursday to the "Favorites" section of his YouTube page that makes fun of Boston city officials for overreacting. (Jackpot321 is Mr. Ewen's standard username. A google cache of a deleted page where he unfortunately refers to "bomb[ing] LA" with the campaign is here.) One assumes he did not add this video on the advice of counsel (or of the public relations firm he has hired to deflect further inquiries)....

So a guerilla marketer not only employs guerilla marketers, but also a public relations firm.

Although the content of Ewen's official statement and that of his most recent YouTube "Favorites" selection appear diametrically opposed, media experts say that self-contradictory psyches are an earmark of advertising and marketing professionals, many of whom are frustrated artists torn between their dual desires to rebel and "sell out." Does Mr. Ewen, whose marketing firm co-opted the methods of tech-savvy street artists for the ATHF campaign and then remained silent while two of the artists the company had employed as contract labor were arrested on felony charges, have issues?

But I guess we'll need a noted semanticist such as Bill Clinton to sort this out:

Those who have been following this story closely understand that what constituted "immediately" at the offices of Interference on January 31st is an open question....

But, more importantly, the dirty little secret is out. You don't need to hire guerilla marketing experts to promote your company, since the guerilla marketing experts don't do guerilla marketing anyway, and it doesn't appear that they are any more expert than you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to contact a blog promotion consultant.

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

Laugh of the day

2007-02-02T13:04:00.000-08:00

Guess who said the following?

I have always believed the purpose of government is to help improve people's lives, and I'm thrilled about leading Boston forward in the years to come. I'm equally dedicated to utilizing the latest technology to create helpful resources that benefit Bostonians.

Turns out it was Thomas Menino, Mayor of the City of Boston, Massachusetts. Let's see what else Menino said:

1/31/2007 - Released by Mayor's Office

Statement on Today’s Suspicious Packages

First, I want to congratulate the Boston Police Department and all the public safety agencies for responding in a coordinated effort today. As most of you know, there were reports of nine suspicious packages found throughout the city and area earlier today. At this time there is no reason to be alarmed.

In fact, a few hours later, it would have been good if Menino had noted that this was a non-issue. He didn't.

These devices have all been secured and are under investigation to see if they are connected and where they came from. I want to be certain that we take all of these reports very seriously.

Even when there's egg on his face afterwards.

The coordinated response by all departments proves the system we have in place works.

He probably regretted that statement later, when he discovered that the devices had been installed weeks ago. But at least the Boston security forces neutralized the dangerous devices before the people in other cities did.

Today, my Office of Emergency Preparedness and the Boston Police Department shared intelligence with the Boston Regional Intelligence Center, Boston Fire Department, Emergency Medical Services, Massachusetts State Police, ATF and FBI and we will continue to do so whenever necessary.

Yes, they shared intelligence. What does this mean?

1 a (1) : the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations : REASON; also : the skilled use of reason (2) : the ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one's environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria (as tests) b Christian Science : the basic eternal quality of divine Mind c : mental acuteness : SHREWDNESS

2 a : an intelligent entity; especially : ANGEL b : intelligent minds or mind

3 : the act of understanding : COMPREHENSION

4 a : INFORMATION, NEWS b : information concerning an enemy or possible enemy or an area; also : an agency engaged in obtaining such information

5 : the ability to perform computer functions

Turns out Menino was talking about definition 4. Not sure when he'll get around to definition 1.

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

Compared to Belarus, Boston is nothing

2007-02-02T12:10:00.000-08:00

So the officials in Boston hate Peter Berdovsky (a/k/a Zebbler) and want to throw him in the slammer.

One would think that this is the worst thing that ever happened to Berdovsky in his life.

It isn't:

A native of Belarus, [Berdovsky] was finishing up the academic year as an exchange student at Arlington High School when he approached a fellow classmate about a growing concern.

“I had been reading articles on the brutality and increasing dictatorial behavior in Belarus,” he said. “Tears came to my eyes, and I had a choice … to live my life or stay subdued. I had already been detained for political activity, and I felt a lot freer here.”

Before his visit to Arlington, his democratic beliefs landed him against a wall, staring at the wrong end of a soldier’s gun.

“A swat team came out of nowhere as my friends and I were leaving a local coffee shop,” he said. “They jumped out of their Jeeps, lined us up against the wall while reloading their automatic weapons pointed to our heads, searched us all and took a few of us in for interrogation.

“They went through my journals and told me that my poems were too ‘free thinking,’ and that I should stop all of my political activities. I got threatened by them later as well, as a way to keep me in check I guess.”

For fear of persecution upon his return, Berdovsky shared his hopes for political asylum with confidant Josh Rich, who later explained his situation to his father Michael....

Yes, that Michael Rich. So in case people thought that Berdovsky used the phone book to choose a lawyer for his current troubles - he didn't.

In late June 1996, the Rich family took in Berdovsky, supporting him financially with help from the Social Action Committee of First Parish Unitarian Universalist Church of Arlington.

“My wife had the idea to bring Peter’s financial needs to the attention of the First Parish Unitarian Universalist Church of Arlington. We arranged a presentation for the Social Action Committee in regards to our sponsorship request, and the committee rallied behind Peter’s case. Peter later became a member of the youth group and spoke at a credo service about his faith journey, which helped prompt greater interest in Belarus and Social Action,” said Rich.

Rich also sought to get Peter readmitted to AHS as an undocumented alien following the expiration of his visa.

“That fall, I had a meeting with the superintendent, playing a dual role as father, and given my law background, the role of education lawyer, and the superintendent agreed to readmit Peter,” he said.

As both the Rich family and Arlington united behind Peter, Berdovsky was still in need of an immigration lawyer. Rich arranged to get an attorney through the Political Asylum Project, a Boston-based nonprofit organization whose specialty is immigration law.

Following initial interviews with the INS (now Immigration and Customs Enforcement), which found against Berdovsky, the case was appealed to immigration court....

The process took just more than a year between the time his application was filed, and when Berdovsky learned his fate.

“Getting the asylum was surreal,” Berdovsky said. “I walked out of the courtroom feeling a changed man. I was looking around me on a sunny day in the heart of downtown Boston with a feeling like I finally belonged.”

Perhaps.

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

MySpace, gallery openings, and other stuff

2007-02-01T12:03:00.000-08:00

Let's look at some MySpace comments, shall we? Take the MySpace page for zebbler. We'll start on January 28.

hourevolution
Jan 28 2007 11:07A

goodday peterB,

how are you & your family?
i am having a gallery opening this first friday.
would be wonderful to see you there.

The very next comment gives people a hint that zebbler may be a little busy on Friday:

Drive A:
Jan 31 2007 5:52P

yo, your name's all over the news, boy!

Modi
Jan 31 2007 7:17P

My thoughts and prayers are with you Peter.

Turns out that zebbler has a lot of friends, and they're all standing behind him and wondering about the ridiculousness of it all.

As am I.

As Communists such as Nobel Peace Prize nominee Bill Handel have pointed out, the Aqua Teen Hunger Force blinking advertisements had been installed in a number of cities, and in fact had been in Boston for three weeks without anyone really noticing, much less alerting the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Here's the latest from CNN:

Two men pleaded not guilty Thursday to charges they created panic by placing "bomblike" electronic light boards displaying a cartoon character with an upraised middle finger throughout Boston.

Assistant Attorney General John Grossman called the light boards "bomblike" devices and said that if they had been explosive they could have damaged transportation infrastructure in the city.

Judge Paul K. Leary told Grossman that, according to law, the suspects must intend to create a panic to be charged with placing hoax devices....

It appears the suspects had no such intent, the judge said, but the question should be discussed in a later hearing.

Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens were released on $2,500 bail, said Mike Rich, their attorney. The next pre-trial hearing is scheduled for March 7.

Regarding woulda coulda shoulda - it's refreshing to know that the judge in the case is looking at things like...the law. Dunno if this means that Paul K. Leary will be out of a job soon, but we'll see. (Handel made the same point; intent is a major part of a criminal act, and in this case the intent just wasn't there.)

So, in a manner befitting the seriousness of the case, Berdovsky (zebbler) and Stevens held a press conference, remaining in accordance with their lawyer's gag order:

In a news conference, [Mike] Rich told reporters he had advised his clients not to discuss the incident. Stevens and Berdovsky took the podium and said they were taking questions only about haircuts in the 1970s.

When a reporter accused them of not taking the situation seriously, Stevens responded, "We're taking it very seriously." Asked another question about the case, Stevens reiterated they were answering questions only about hair and accused the reporter of not taking him and Berdovsky seriously.

Reporters did not relent and as they continued, Berdovsky disregarded their queries, saying, "That's not a hair question. I'm sorry."

But Craig Lee Burket knows what's going on:

Oh my GOD! It's a CODED MESSAGE!! To... to... to those IRANIAN AGENTS IN IRAQ!!! Quick -- better NUKE TEHRAN before they GIT US!!!!

I thought he was a sensitive cynic...

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

On the left, right, and middle, Orson Bean

2007-01-31T11:47:00.000-08:00

When I was growing up, I didn't know a lot about Orson Bean. I knew that he was a panelist on "To Tell the Truth" (along with Bill Cullen, Peggy Cass, and Kitty Carlisle, plus host Garry Moore), and that he went to Australia.

I was a bit surprised when he popped up in an audiobook by Bob Edwards about Edward R. Murrow. And therein lies a story:

CrankyCritic: We can joke about not being seen on the coasts, but you did get whacked by the infamous Hollywood Black List, too.

Orson Bean: I was never bitter. I was horny for a Communist girl and she dragged me to some meetings and that's why I got blacklisted. Everybody in those days wanted to end the black list. I ran on a slate of AFTRA and was elected first VP of the New York Local. For my pains, they dug up this stuff about me and, I went from being the hot comic on the Ed Sullivan Show to not working for a year. However, I got a Broadway show. At the end of that year Ed Sullivan called me up, as he promised he would, and said "I think things have softened up enough that I can book you again" and he did. That kind of broke it.

CrankyCritic: Is there any kind of satisfaction seeing, in the last couple of years, [Joseph] McCarthy and [Roy] Cohn being totally exposed for what they were?

Orson Bean: It's always scary in a Democracy to see that stuff. I think Pat Buchanan is truly frightening. The man is a fascist and an anti-Semite. If he's willing to say as much in public as he says, imagine what he says in a room full of his friends whom he trusts. I really admire John McCain for saying that [Buchanan] shouldn't be in the Republican party while George W. is saying "well, we need all the votes we can get..." You've got to watch out for stuff like that. It's an easy target. I made a movie with old Joe Welch, who was the wonderful lawyer who said "at long last Senator McCarthy, have you no sense of decency?" Otto Preminger had the brilliant idea of casting him as the judge in Anatomy of a Murder. I had a part in that. At night we would sit in a bar up in Michigan. Welch told us that he was brought in to represent the Army by Tom Dewey, who was the head of the Republican party, who said "This son of a bitch McCarthy is crazy and he's going to drag the party down with him." So it's interesting to see that when things go far enough there are moderates, even moderate conservatives like McCain, who start seeing how dangerous Buchanan is. I trust America. I've lived long enough to see the pendulum swing back and forth, to see that Democracy really wins out in the end.

Going back to the AFTRA incident (which Bob Edwards recounts in his book), you need to introduce a character named John Henry Faulk. Here's how the Daily Kos does it:

John Henry Faulk was a popular radio personality in NY in the 1950s. He was a Texas boy who was both a scholar and storyteller. In 1956, shortly after he was elected to the board of his union, the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, he was accused of being a Communist sympathizer by Aware Inc.

Faulk didn't work on radio of television for the next 6 1/2 years. Unlike most who were blacklisted, he sued.

Daily Kos continues by quoting from Faulk's autobiography:

AFTRA had been founded in New York in 1938, and although it became a national union with strong locals in Chicago and Hollywood, the New York local was the largest and strongest in the union. The governing body of the New York local was a thirty-five man board of directors, whose members were elected from the membership every December, to serve throughout the following year. From the early 1950s, this board of directors had been controlled entirely by one faction of the union. The same group was elected year after year, and they made anti-Communism a big issue. A number of them, including Vinton Hayworth, the president of the New York local in 1955, were officers of AWARE,Inc....

[Faulk, Bean, and Charles Collingwood] managed, however, to get thirty-three people in all. We called ourselves the Middle-of-the-Road slate and put out a statement setting forth what we hoped to do for the union. We called it "A Declaration of Independents." Among other things, we declared that while we were opposed to Communism we were also opposed to the blacklisting and intended to do something to put a stop to it....

At election time, in December of 1955, we swept into office with a flourish. The Middle-of-the-Road slate won twenty-seven of the thirty-five seats on the board....A couple of weeks later Collingwood was elected president, Bean first vice-president, and I was elected second vice-president of the local.

Now, in the simplistic version of the story, the evil fascist forces attacked our heroes Faulk, Bean, and Collingwood. But, according to Accuracy in Media, the simplistic version of the story may be too simple:

Faulk, Orson Bean, and Charles Coilingwood headed a slate running for office in the television and radio performers' union, AFTRA, with the objective of fighting the blacklisting of performers accused of leftwing connections.

Orson Bean has written that when the slate was formed it was deemed essential that the candidates be completely free of any leftwing taint. The potential candidates were urged to reveal if they had anything in their past of this nature. If they did, they were urged to drop out. Bean himself, confessed to having been involved in a relatively minor incident, but Faulk assured him that it was not serious and urged him to stay on the slate. Faulk himself said nothing about any possible taint in his own background.

The Faulk-Bean-Collingwood slate won the election. Aware came out with an article, which asked, rhetorically, just how anti-communist this slate actually was. It started with Faulk. Bean wrote: "I read with wonder as it went on and on: Johnny at 'Headline Cabaret' sponsored by Stage for Action, officially designated as a Communist front. Johnny appearing with Paul Robeson at the Communist Jefferson School. Johnny sending greetings to "People's Songs", a Red publication. Johnny as U.S. sponsor of the American Continental Congress for Peace in Mexico City. Johnny at "Showtime for Wallace," staged by Progressive Citizens of America, a Communist front."

Bean said that the publication then went on to Bean and Coilingwood, but what they had against them alone would not have been worth printing. But lumped with the list they had on Faulk, he said, "it added up to a grim picture."

Bean said he was dumfounded. He wondered how they could have made up all that stuff about Faulk. He said: "I was sure it couldn't be true or he wouldn't have jeopardized us all by running with us. I ran over to Johnny's office at CBS. 'It isn't true, is it. Johnny? You didn't appear at those places, did you?"

"'Oh honey.' he said. 'What does it matter'? Don't you see those people are fascists? If they didn't have something on us, they'd have made it up.

Faulk, by not revealing his leftwing associations to his fellow candidates in advance, had, according to Bean, placed them all in jeopardy. Faulk elected to sue Aware for libel. Bean tells of speaking to Faulk while the trial was in progress. Faulk told him how his attorney, Lou Nizer, had demolished the defendants. Bean asked: "Was the other side right?" He says Faulk replied: "The point is they didn't prove it. They were sloppy and they were bad detectives, and we're gonna kill 'em."

Now there are several ways you can carve this turkey. On the one hand, in a free society it shouldn't matter whether you're a Republican or a Communist or the head of your local Al Qaeda cell. On the other hand, one can claim that it's dishonest to cover up past associations...in fact, cover-ups are Nixonian, aren't they? On the other other hand, one can claim that it's OK to mislead when threatened. Or is it?

This is why any analysis of the McCarthy years can't be reduced to a simple good guys-bad guys scenario. Failure to examine the complexities of the situation leads one with an incomplete view.

And what happened to John Henry Faulk? For those who followed the history of CBS' replacement show for the Smothers Brothers, this little tidbit is somewhat ironic - Faulk joined the cast of Hee Haw.

John Henry Faulk, who works on a farm in Madisonville, Texas, tells stories on “Hee Haw” about “the folks back home,” as well as comments on the political scene, much as he did years ago as a CBS radio personality.

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

While we're on the real estate kick

2007-01-30T12:37:00.000-08:00

Amerivision Mortgage Corporation (see here and here) has published some "Buyer Don'ts" for people who are close to closing on a home. Excerpts:

It may be tempting to order that new sofa for your soon-to-be living room, but its best to avoid making major purchases like furniture, cars, appliances, electronic equipment, jewelry, or vacations until after the closing. Financing that furniture with a store credit card or even one of your own credit cards could jeopardize your credit worthiness during the time it means the most....

Generally, changing jobs will not affect your ability to qualify for a mortgage loan - especially if you are going to be making more money. But for some people, getting a new job during the loan approval process could raise some concern and affect your application....

[from] Amerivision Mortgage Corp 2990 Inland Empire Blvd Ste 120 Ontario, CA 91764 Phone: 909-481-2833 Fax: 909-481-0442

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

Joyce Powell could have had some REAL issues

2007-01-30T11:53:00.000-08:00

Now that my Google account provides me access to my blogs, rather than someone else's blog (Go Bears!), I can continue the discussion that I started here.

And, for the record, there are notification requirements for a Notice of Default, which you can find right in the good ol' U.S. Code.

TITLE 12 > CHAPTER 38 > § 3708

§ 3708. Service of notice of default and foreclosure sale

...

(1) The notice of default and foreclosure sale, together with the designation required by section 3704 of this title, shall be sent by certified or registered mail, postage prepaid and return receipt requested...

So I'm forced to conclude that Joyce Powell got a certified or registered Notice of Default, then got a certified or registered Notice of Sale, and still didn't realize the significance of the documents.

In my Yahoo post, I done said:

[T]he wonderful wonderful mortgage company that held the mortgage (presumably the same Amerivision Mortgage Corporation) sent a Notice of Default, and then sent a Notice of Sale, but never tried to make personal contact with the mortgage holder.

While this may be true, Joyce Powell is probably lucky, since there are some people that specifically contact mortgage holders who are in Notice of Default.

I'll start by quoting the side of these people - the foreclosure specialists. First off, what is a foreclosure specialist?

I have bought and sold real estate for 7 years, often dealing with people in foreclosure who wanted nothing more than some cash to move on with and for me to keep the foreclosure off of their credit report.

(We'll get to a differing view of foreclosure specialists a little later.)

Now this particular foreclosure specialist feels victimized:

I’m so tired of hearing about the big bad investors. Do you people realize that if we weren’t here to stop the foreclosures that your property values would suffer. When the bank takes the property at foreclosure, they usally only bid what is owed on the property, and if that is considerably less than the value, you now have a low comp in your neighborhood.... let that happen a few times and see what happens to your property values.

As an investor who does preforeclosure homes, I have always lived by a mantra that “good things happen to bad people,” however I also know that denial is more than a river in Egypt and that people in foreclosure will deny that they asked for help once thier problem is solved.

For example, I once got a phone call from a woman in foreclosure. When I went to see the house, I found some very obvious sinkhole damage. I told her that I could not buy the house outright because the problem was going to have to be addressed by her insurance company first. I told her that I would pay to reinstate her loan, get her some money, make her payments until her insurance company addressed the problem, and through a power of attorney would see her claim through for her.

I gave the woman $2,500, paid $8,000 to her lender to reinstate her loan, and made the payments on her house for a year, when suddenly her payment increased due to an increase in taxes and insurance, and her lender never notified me and put the house back into foreclosure. The woman called me screaming at me and told me that she spoke to a lawyer and that it was still her house. I explained to her that I was making the payments, and she would hear none of it. She broke into the house, and stole the appliances. While filing a police report, a neighbor came over and told us that it was in fact the former owner who did it. When the police went to her house and explained that she did not own the house, and that she did commit a crime, she called me and was apologetic and told me that she understood that I owned the house and that she was sorry. When the claim finally settled, I sent in a check to her mortgage company to pay off the loan entirely and after 4 months, they still have refused to do it, costing me more money to hire an attorney to fight them. And this “poor” homeowner is nowhere to be found.

Well, while Vanessa Blais may be honest, some foreclosure specialists don't provide their clients with all the facts. In a court case, a plaintiff alleged the following:

On or about December 13, 1978, plaintiff defaulted on a note in the amount of $3,500 secured by a third deed of trust to the subject property. Plaintiff's house was also encumbered by a note dated October 30, 1967, to Farmers Home Insurance secured by a first deed of trust and a note dated June 12, 1969, to Farmers Administration secured by a second deed of trust. The value of the property in June 1982 was approximately $50,000, and plaintiff's equity therein was approximately $45,000.

On or about August 1, 1979, a trust deed sale was scheduled for plaintiff's residence. Immediately thereafter, plaintiff was contacted orally by telephone by defendant Craft. Craft represented to plaintiff that he was a foreclosure specialist, that plaintiff would lose her house in foreclosure without his assistance, that he wanted to help plaintiff keep her house, that he would bring the payments on the notes secured by the third deed of trust current provided plaintiff kept all payments current on the notes secured by the first and second deeds of trust and repaid defendant Craft all sums advanced by him together with interest.

On or about August 17, 1979, defendant Craft arranged at his own expense to have plaintiff flown to the Oakland Airport where plaintiff met Craft and defendant Barton. While at the Oakland Airport, Craft and Barton presented certain written documents to plaintiff for signature. At the time the documents were presented to plaintiff, plaintiff was advised by defendants Craft and Barton that the papers presented to her were a loan agreement under which Craft and Barton agreed to pay off the note secured by a third deed of trust, thereby avoiding a trust deed sale of plaintiff's residence. Defendants further advised plaintiff that she would be able to retain title to {Page 164 Cal.App.3d 802} and possession of her house, that she would be obligated to pay defendants together with interest at such time as she became financially able to do so, that she would continue to make all payments on the note secured by the first and second deeds of trust to the residence, that it was absolutely essential that the loan transaction be consummated immediately, and that there was no time for plaintiff to either read the documents or seek advice of counsel. Plaintiff then signed the documents.

In fact, the documents presented to plaintiff consisted of a grant deed conveying plaintiff's property to defendant Barton, escrow instructions to Founder's Title Company for said conveyance, and a release for Founder's Title Company of Alameda which purported to absolve that company of any liability for that party's failure to notify the Farmers Home Administration of said conveyance. The legal effect of said instruments was to transfer title to the subject premises and all of plaintiff's equity to defendant Craft for a total consideration of approximately $100.

So we have two views of foreclosure specialists. What does the California Department of Real Estate say?

"Foreclosure consultants" or "foreclosure specialists" often contact homeowners who have received a notice of default. They may claim they can prevent the foreclosure, and may even suggest that you transfer title to your home to them. Persons who contact you and claim they can prevent a foreclosure should be questioned carefully to determine how they believe that this can be accomplished.

And the Sheriff of Volusia County, Florida isn't any more complimentary:

Residents facing the threat of losing a home quite often are flooded with overtures from individuals or companies offering to help. Now, there's absolutely nothing wrong with spending money in exchange for a worthwhile service. But in many cases, the services offered to people in foreclosure are nothing more than worthless scams looking to exploit your hardship. Instead of helping, they will only compound your financial problems....

They may promise to take care of your problems by offering to negotiate with your mortgage lender in exchange for a fee. They may offer to obtain refinancing for you. Sometimes they ask you to make your mortgage payments directly to the scam operator. They may even ask you to hand over your property deed and then offer to lease the residence back to you so you can stay in your home.

Any of these pitches should send up warning flags! And here's the reason why: Instead of contacting your lender or refinancing your loan, scam operators will pocket all of the money that you pay to them. They may file a bankruptcy case in your name to give the elusion that they are taking action to clear up your problems. But this is only a temporary device, since bankruptcy doesn't stop foreclosure, but merely puts it on hold. When the scam artist walks away after the filing, the bankruptcy petition will be dismissed and the foreclosure proceeding will continue. If this happens, you could end up losing your home as well as any money paid to the scam operator.

Many companies, some reputable and some not, will offer to negotiate or consolidate your debt to help you out of a mortgage jam. The catch is that you will be asked to pre-pay for these services. The truth is that in many cases, the services don't offer anything that you can't do on your own. And there are many non-profit debt counseling agencies that will provide the same services free of charge.

If you can't pay your mortgage, the best advice is to contact the mortgage lender or a lawyer for help.

Ouch...

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

Kiira Korpi search surge

2007-01-29T22:02:00.000-08:00

And it's understandable - she placed third in the 2007 European Figure Skating Championships. But you already knew that.

YouTube video here.

Favorite U.S. president - Third favorite Finnish figure skater

The Caliphate, or why Adam Smith and Karl Marx were wrong

2007-01-29T20:30:00.000-08:00

Followup. A bit more on the political theory of the Caliphate:

Hizb ut-Tahrir says that Muslims should abolish national boundaries within the Islamic world and return to a single Islamic state, known as "the Caliphate," that would stretch from Indonesia to Morocco and contain more than 1.5 billion people.

It's a simple and seductive idea that analysts believe may someday allow the group to rival existing Islamic movements, topple the rulers of Middle Eastern nations, and undermine those seeking to reconcile democracy and Islam and build bridges between East and West....

"The Caliphate is a rallying point between the radicals and the more moderate Islamists," says Stephen Ulph, a senior fellow at the Jamestown Foundation. "The idea of a government based on the Caliphate has a historical pedigree and Islamic legitimacy that Western systems of government by their very nature do not have."

But unlike Al Qaeda, Hizb ut-Tahrir believes it can recreate the Caliphate peacefully. Its activists aim to pursuade Muslim political and military leaders that reestablishing the Caliphate is their Islamic duty....

The Caliphate was created after the death of Islam's founder Muhammad in 632 AD. During the following centuries the Caliphate expanded Islam's territories by conquest and treaty to cover most of the Middle East, Central Asia, and North Africa. As the Ottoman Turks lost ground to the West, they increasingly donned the cloak of the Caliphate. In the 1920s, Muslims throughout the British empire, particularly in India, used the restoration of the Caliphate as an anti-colonial rallying point....

Hizb ut-Tahrir promises that a revived Caliphate will end corruption and bring prosperity...

Here is a description of the Caliphate's solution to poverty:

Lining up patiently together with old ladies, foul mouthed youths and people reeking of alcohol, a highly qualified engineer waits his turn in the queue to collect his 'dole' otherwise known as 'job seekers allowance'. This scene is not uncommon in the Western world where graduates and professionals from all manner of fields find themselves without work and struggling to make ends meet. For some professionals the handout from the dole office every Wednesday morning is what barely keeps them afloat until the next week....

A particular view towards the economic problem has dominated Western economies since the time of the founding father of capitalist economics, previously a Professor at Glasgow University, Adam Smith.

In 1776 (CE) Smith published what became the bible of capitalist economics, 'An Inquiry Into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations', it articulated his laissez faire view towards the economic problem.

In essence capitalist economists believe that the economic problem is caused by the unlimited needs of people and the scarcity of resources, this leads to the dilemma of how to bridge the gap between the two - how do people get their needs satisfied? In answer to this question, Smith developed the 'invisible hand theory'. It denotes that if the economy is left to run in a free manner the resources will be distributed fulfilling the needs of society almost in an automatic way.

The basis of the theory is that by focussing on production the gap between the unlimited needs and limited resources is lessened, it is assumed that people will work to achieve their own interests. By working and earning a wage they can in turn purchase the goods and services they require. This has also come be known as 'trickle down economics' where the focus is on increasing the size of the cake, believing that it will somehow trickle down into the bellies of the hungry.

However the theory is not that simplistic, in order to explain the 'invisible hand' the price mechanism is seen as key. It is seen as the incentive for production, the regulator of distribution, and the link between the producer and the consumer i.e. it is the means which achieves a balance between production and consumption.

The price mechanism is cited as the incentive for production because the principal motive for people to undertake any productive effort or sacrifice in view of the capitalist economists is material reward. The Capitalist economists exclude the possibility that man expends effort for a moral or spiritual motive. They consider that man expends his efforts to satisfy his materialistic needs and wishes only....

Western societies have high levels of GDP (Gross Domestic Product) yet still have high levels of poverty as was established earlier. This fact itself disproves the 'invisible hand theory' and the free market as the solution to the economic problem....

An increase in the level of production leads to a rise in the level of the wealth of the country and does not necessarily lead to the complete satisfaction of all the basic needs of each and every individual. A country could be rich in its natural resources, as in the case of Iraq and Saudi Arabia, but the basic needs of most of their citizens are not satisfied completely....

Due to an attitude previously seen in the pre-renaissance bigotry of the Church in repressing the philosophers who questioned the unquestionable, this new clergy of economists today do not question their bible written by Adam Smith. This religious adherence blinds them from admitting the failures of their fundamental philosophy. It is this fact that has led to their failure in dealing with poverty on the streets of Britain and in the West....

[W]elfare legislation and the concept of the welfare state itself were 'ad-ons' to the capitalist economy spurned by a pragmatic approach to stem the tide of Socialism....

Although the cause for poverty in the west is the capitalist economic philosophy, Western economists fail to look at any other alternative apart from Socialism. They only see two paradigms for the economy, Capitalism or Communism. I recall a discussion with my previous economic lecturer where I put forward the ills of Capitalism, after debating the points exhaustively he said, 'Capitalism is the best of the worst'. I then went on to explain the Islamic economic system as an alternative, it became obvious that he had never considered Islam as having any alternative nor had studied it.

Leftist movements, thinkers and writers are increasingly voicing their opinion against the inequalities created by Capitalism. However they too like my economics lecturer cannot see any other alternative and therefore call for the reformation of Capitalism. We need to articulate the Islamic economic system as an alternative to the mass of economic problems that face the world today....

Islam views the economic problem in a radically different way than Capitalism and Socialism. Islam focuses on the distribution of wealth not just the production....

Islam looks at every individual by himself rather than the total of individuals who live in the country. It looks at him as a human being first, who needs to satisfy all of his basic needs completely. Then it looks to him in his capacity as a particular individual, to enable him to satisfy his luxuries as much as possible. The purpose of the economic policy in Islam is not to raise the standard of living in the country without looking to secure the rights of life for every individual completely. Nor is it just to provide the means of satisfaction in the society, leaving people free to take from such means as much as they can, without securing the livelihood right for each individual. Rather, it addresses the basic problems of everyone as human beings, then enabling each individual to raise his standard of living and achieve comfort for himself.

More here.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

Faith, or how del.icio.us spreads a story

2007-01-23T07:56:00.000-08:00

One of my co-workers is on MySpace, and while checking out the pages of my co-worker's friends, I ran across this post and tagged it.

Then, someone in my del.icio.us network tagged it also.

Both Ragnell and I quoted from Alicat's quote on this article:

This article helps me be thankful for what I have and reminds me to have faith :)

Faith enough to survive in the ocean for nine months and nine days? Increase my faith! (Luke 17:5)

Here are excerpts from Alicat's post, which she quoted from an article in Variety:

Three Mexican fishermen saw their first land in nearly 10 months today (Tuesday) after drifting across the Pacific Ocean since last October 28. After 13 days aboard a Marshall Islands fishing vessel since their rescue, the Mexican fishermen looked healthy, smiled often and talked about their ordeal in an on-board interview with AFP shortly before they arrived in Majuro, the capital of the Marshall Islands....

Salvador Ordonez, 37, the oldest of the three Mexicans, said they were sleeping on the floor of their boat the afternoon of their rescue. Ordonez said he woke to the sound of a boat engine nearby and tried to wake the others. But after so many days drifting at sea, Lucio Rendon, 27, and Jesus Vidana Lopez, 27, weren't impressed.

"It's just the noise of the wind," they told Ordonez. But a few seconds later they sat up to find Koo's 102, a 72 meter, 1,100 gross ton purse seiner sitting just a few hundred meters away.

The Mexican trio said through an interpreter that they divided their time between reading the Bible and fishing on their epic trip across the Pacific in which two others died earlier this year.

"Two months after we started drifting, the two died," said Ordonez....

"We were lost for nine months and nine days," said Lucio Rendon, 27. Pointing to his Casio wristwatch, Rendon said: "This watch was an incredible thing to have."

At first they thought they would be rescued when they were still only days away from the west coast of Mexico. But they ran out of gas and none of the vessels that they saw in the distance saw them....

The only equipment on board was shark fishing gear, according to Orodonez. But the hooks were too big to catch little fish, so they used wire on the boat to construct smaller hooks to catch fish during the voyage, he said. But it was hardly gourmet eating on the nine month drift.

"We spent most of the time reading the Bible," said Lopez.

"Fishing and praying mostly. God really helped us because we were at sea for so long."

But what really kept them eating was Ordonez, whom the others referred to as "El Gato" (the cat). He would creep along the bottom of the boat and catch birds that landed on the small boat. They would then eat the raw meat.

Also see pictopia.

And, just when you're feeling good about yourself, the world brings you down:

The trio have become instant folk heroes back home but in television and press interviews to mark their arrival in the Marshalls they had to deny that they had in fact been engaged in cocaine trafficking — a common activity along the Mexican coast — and had eaten their two dead colleagues.

As far as I can tell, the allegations were unfounded.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

Further evidence that we enjoyed more freedom under Gerald Ford than we have before or since

2007-01-19T07:46:00.000-08:00

I never really cared for Norman Lear.

I thought that the characters on his shows were, for the most part, one-dimensional stereotypes representing various positions, rather than living breathing human beings.

But as we get further and further into the twenty-first century, I'm appreciating him more and more.

I've already talked talked (sorry, listening to a new CD) about modern-day attempts to ban the use of the word "nigger." Well, as Evelyn Erives and Nobel Peace Prize nominee Bill Handel reported this morning, there is a concerted effort to ban the use of another word. Let's have Harvey Levin get out of the water and tell us what's going on:

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) is demanding an apology from "Grey's Anatomy" star Isaiah Washington for continually making homophobic remarks. In the past four months, Washington has used the offensive term "faggot" twice in reference to co-star T.R. Knight....

In an interview at Monday's Golden Globes, Washington denied using the offensive term by ... using the offensive term. "No, I did not call T.R. a faggot."

And it's not just GLAAD that's complaining:

Katherine Heigl has had more than enough of the F-word (the gay slur), and thinks her co-star Isaiah Washington should quit using it, forever....

Heigl is "not cool" with Washington's hurtful comments.

Well, someone didn't get the message from the political correctness brigade. To wit:

Once upon a time, I worked with a super-liberal group of people, where we regularly debated issues of racial, gender and sexual orientation equality. My first week on staff, I attended a weekend retreat to discuss race as it related to HIV prevention and care.

I was young and naive, but the facilitator opened my eyes to some interesting definitions of racism.

Blacks, Latinos, Asians -- any racial minority living in America -- can't be racist. They can have prejudices, for sure. They can hate other races and discriminate all they want. But they can't be racist, because racism is a construct of power. Those who have power -- white people -- can discriminate in ways minorities cannot. And that makes it racism, which is not simple prejudice.

I also learned that everyone has prejudice. And every white person is racist. Living in our society makes it so. No matter how liberal your thinking is, how open to learning you are, how many black friends you may have -- something deep inside you makes you racist, even if just a little bit.

So, not everyone is racist. But every white person is.

It goes on:

There was another event at that little lefty agency that defines who I am, right now, even more.

One morning I came to work infuriated. The night before, I had watched some 20/20/Primetime Live/Dateline/60 Minutes program. One of the reporters made a statement about gender that perhaps showed some minor insensitivity to sex or sexual orientation issues.

I was 26 and fired up. I marched into my boss's office upon arriving. "You will not believe what I saw last night!" I exclaimed, and told her about the show.

"You know, Brian," she sighed, "I never want to watch TV with you."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because, long ago, I came to the conclusion that if I wanted some peace in my life, if I didn't want to be angry at the world all the time, I just had to let some things go," she said. "When I watch TV or a movie, I concentrate on the moment. I try to be entertained because so much in the rest of our lives is so difficult."

In retrospect, I find that a tremendously valuable lesson.

So true. Look at some of the things that have been lumped under the term Christian persecution:

Recently, a woman in Houston, Texas was ordered by local police to stop handing out gospel tracts to children who knocked on her door during Halloween. Officers informed her that such activity is illegal (not true), and that she would be arrested if she continued. In Madison, Wisconsin, the Freedom from Religion Foundation distributes anti-Christian pamphlets to public school children entitled, "We Can Be Good Without God." The entertainment industry and syndicated media increasingly vilify Christians as sewer rats, vultures, and simple-minded social ingrates. The FBI and the Clinton White House brand fundamentalist Christian groups as hate mongers and potential terrorists. The Council of Religious Leaders of Metropolitan Chicago warns that plans by Southern Baptists to hold a convention in the Windy City next year might foment "hate crimes" against minorities, causing some Christians to fear that speaking openly about their religious beliefs will soon be considered a crime.

Sorry, but this is not persecution. Perhaps these events may be precursors to persecution, but these events in and of themselves are not persecution. Slacktivist put it this way, citing Matthew 5:10-12:

scarcely a day goes by, regardless of whether or not it is "Justice Sunday," in which some group of American Christians does not claim that they are facing "persecution."

They dare to use that word.

This is delusional, pathological. These people are insane. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ -- and the brothers and sisters of those Christians facing actual persecution in the world's forgotten corners -- but they are insane.

When protected, privileged and pampered American Christians claim to be facing persecution they spit on the wounds of their brothers and sisters elsewhere in the world and in history who have known firsthand what religious persecution really is. They mock not only their fellow Christians in this great cloud of witnesses, but also those of other faiths who have suffered or are, now, today, suffering genuine persecution.

Apply this lesson, and extend as necessary.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

You say syncretic, I say sincretic, let's call the whole thing off

2007-01-18T12:36:00.000-08:00

From a post dated October 14, 2005, but timely as ever as David Beckham and Victoria Beckham prepare to arrive in El-Lay:

I asserted that pop-Kabbalah is the new Scientology: a pseudo-religion scam designed to suck money out of people, especially famous ones. Gwen argued that pop-Kabbalah wasn’t as bad because it was at least rooted in a legitimate religious tradition. “Oh yeah?” I countered, “then what about Jews for Jesus? That’s rooted in two legitimate religious traditions!”

In other news, one of the evidences that the LDS church is the true church (see 3 Nephi 27:8, [3 Nephi tags] noting that the Mormons aren't the only ones who buttress claims with their own authority) has been added as a comment to my MySpace blog.

But if you REALLY want to see a religious war, look at what happened when Mitch Wagner claimed that the iPhone was NOT the most wonderful device in the universe.

Keep your Treo you wouldn't understand... an I phone is just too easy for you
You're not excited that all the different things (camera, phone, ipod) come in ONE small device now. I guess you're one of those who'll be more excited about news like Britney Spears walking aroudn (sic) without panties. Please quit writing such articles.
I didn't expect a Media 1.0 magazine like InformationWeek to understand the allure of the iPhone, and this article proved my point.
Sounds like you don't have Cingular and can't get out of your contract. Boo Hoo. Go home and watch your B&W 13 inch tv.

The people quoted above are now tearing out their Cisco routers and refusing to stay in Teledex-serviced hotels.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

More on Teledex

2007-01-16T23:05:00.000-08:00

Followup. Here are some other posts about the Teledex iPhone products. This one is from November 2005:

iPhone IP is an SIP-based phone released by Teledex. The company has also released iPhone Hybrid, which is an analog phone that can be converted to IP by means of an upgrade. The phones are meant for the hospitality industry and are similar in looks. Both models have an interactive color touch screen. The phones are expected to hit the market in the second quarter of 2006.

And here's where The Trademark Blog quotes another article and annotates it (annotations in ALL CAPS):

Apple could also claim that Cisco has failed to defend its iPhone trademark....Cisco acquired the iPhone trademark when it bought Infogear in 2000. Since then, other companies, such as Teledex and Orate Telecommunications Services, have shipped products--products that directly compete with the Cisco/Infogear line of phones--bearing the iPhone moniker.

THIS MAY WELL BE ITS 'ACE IN THE HOLE." IT CAN LIVE WITH iPHONE AS A WEAK MARK. IT'S PRODUCT HAS 'OPENED' THANKS TO THE FREE COVERAGE.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

Glennis Yeager and the Pakistani Condoms

2007-01-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

I searched for this story on the Net before, but couldn't find it, so I guess I'll have to post it myself. These are excerpts from Glennis Yeager, appearing in Chuck Yeager's autobiography. Glennis died a few years after this was written. The following occurred around 1971 in Pakistan.

At a party one night...I was talking to Bob Grant, the head of the population section of our Agency for International Development....I started working four hours a day and ended up working eight to ten hours a day and enjoying every minute of it.

Our job was to help the Pakistanis cut back on their enormous population growth. Birth control was not popular and seldom practiced....As for the condoms Chuck was always laughing about, most of the Pakistani men wanted nothing to do with them....[O]ne of the male secretaries said to me, "The color makes it too embarrasing." I asked what he meant. "To a Moslem," he said, "white is the color of purity." I asked him, "What if they were orange or red or purple? Would that make a difference?" He thought it would. So, we ordered those darn things in every color of the rainbow.

I remember Chuck stopping by one evening when a bunch of us were packing them up for distribution. He said, "What the hell are you guys doin'? Is there a party or something?" He thought they were colored balloons. We distributed orange, green, blue, red, and yellow rubbers by the thousands, and they became popular throughout Pakistan. Orange was the favorite color. We couldn't keep any orange condoms in stock.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

Ocean Telecom Services - Think different

2007-01-14T19:46:00.000-08:00

Followup to my post on the Ontario Technoblog. I figured that Cisco had a clear case, but I just read a post that caused me to think different (heh):

In order to keep a trademark alive, you have to file a “Declaration of Use” with the US Patent and Trademark office every six years or forfeit the trademark. On 11/16/2005 Cisco missed that deadline, but was granted a six month grace period, which it just barely squeezed through. Unfortunately for Cisco, a “Declaration of Use” requires demonstration of active use, under penalty of perjury. Cisco merely slapped an iPhone sticker onto an existing VoIP handset it was producing , but at the time hadn’t put an actual iPhone product on shelves for a good long while. This jeopardizes the legitimacy of the trademark, and with Ocean Telecom Services LLC — which is thought by most to be a front company for Apple — next in line for the name, it’s looking like anyone’s game at this point.

Also see something in over 1,000 news reports here.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

I am not trendy, but I learn quickly

2007-01-14T19:39:00.000-08:00

So I'm taking our family's In N Out order this evening, and my Swiss daughter asks for animal fries.

Turns out that animal fries are on In N Out's so-called "secret menu."

But I bet that my Swiss daughter doesn't know about In N Out's secret secret menu. Excerpts:

Vegan Style - 4 leafs of lettuce between 2 leafs of lettuce.

John 3:16 style fries - Fries, no salt.

Mt. Rushmore - 4 fresh whole potatoes, peeled and hand carved to the likenesses of Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt and Lincoln, deep-fried to golden brown perfection.

More here.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

Postitis

2007-01-10T12:39:00.000-08:00

Tried to write a comment in MySpace, and got an internal server error.

Tried to post something in Blogger, and got an internal server error.

Let's see if third time's a non-charm.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

If someone has a solution to this problem, I'm all ears

2007-01-07T22:57:00.000-08:00

A quick overview (thanks to Randy Morin):

Some Dallas-area cheerleaders caused big trouble at their school when risque pictures of them turned up on MySpace.com.

The group of cheerleaders at McKinney North High School was known as the "Fab Five." The girls were "uber cool," according to attorney Harry Jones, who was hired by the school district to launch an investigation.

They were "telling teachers to shut up, using a cell phone in class even after being told not to, cheating on tests, skipping school," Jones said.

The pictures turned up on MySpace.com in September. The girls were drinking in some of them, NBC News' Michelle Kosinski reported. In another picture, girls posed in the cheerleading uniforms in a condom shop....

Jones said they felt they could intimidate and threaten anyone at the school in part because the principal, Linda Theret, was the mother of the squad's co-captain.

In the wake of the investigation, Theret agreed to resign and the Fab Five are now off the cheerleading team.

But it took some time, and a cheerleading coach resignation, to get to that point:

The varsity cheerleading coach and teaching intern at McKinney North High School said she quit because the school would not back her up on discipline she said a small number of team members needed.

Michaela Ward said her cheerleaders had some behavorial problems such as skipping classes, being late to practice and even smarting off to teachers. However, the girls' biggest offense was when they posed for a sexually suggestive photograph while wearing their school uniform inside a Condoms To Go store....

Ward said the girls were suspended for 30 days but that the suspension was overturned, in part, because one of the cheerleaders is the daughter of the McKinney North High School principal.

The girls' suspensions were rolled back to 15 days plus probation....

"Young kids are going to live up to expectations that we set and if our expectations are that low that's how they are going to perform, and that's sad," said Ward.

Despite the outcome of this situation, Ward said the squad is an incredibly talented group with a few members who made stupid choices....

Nearly two dozen parents drafted a letter supporing Ward and said there has been a three-year history of cheerleading sponsors being run-over by the school along with a perpetual cycle of bad behavior by the squad.

So how did the high school district initially respond to Ward's resignation? Blame the messenger:

McKinney Independent School District officials stand by the policies and procedures in place to address discipline issues within the District. The McKinney ISD Board of Trustees, administrators, faculty, and staff take both the disciplinary and appeals process extremely serious, as is evidenced on a daily basis in McKinney schools. In accordance with State law, Board policies FNG (LEGAL) and FNG (LOCAL) require the District provide parents the right to appeal decisions regarding discipline. The fact that discipline may be modified in certain cases is evidence of the fact that the system works and that the District takes the time to consider all of the facts. “Allegations by the former McKinney North High School cheerleading sponsor, Michaela Ward, regarding a lack of administrative support are simply untrue,” said Cody Cunningham, McKinney ISD Assistant to the Superintendent for Communications.

Well, guess what? Eventually the principal and another administrator did resign, the "fab five" are no longer cheerleaders, and McKinney North High School is featured in Newsweek.

Oops.

More here. And if you're hooked on blog titles, the relevant text from the 1992 presidential debate is here, and a Wikipedia article on "No Pass No Play" (which presumably also affects cheerleaders) is here (not that the fab five were failing - after all, they were cheating, so presumably their grades were good).

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

A common misperception

2007-01-07T22:23:00.000-08:00

Reporting on the whole Club Paris thingie, BlogoWogo said the following:

We wish the Club Paris team the best in its obviously doomed hunt for The Replacement, but we're sure they'll quickly discover that no matter how many luxury apartments or exotic sportscars they lavish upon their faux-Hilton, they'll never be able to adequately simulate the lazy-eyed, vacant stare of carefree privilege that only a lifetime as a genuine hotel heiress can provide.

But does this "genuine hotel heiress" actually enjoy "carefree privilege"? Not exactly, as this 2005 article attests:

One reason Kathy Hilton is just thrilled about her daughter Paris’s engagement to Greek billionaire shipping heir Paris Latsis is that she’s hoping the union will solve her husband’s financial woes, sources say. While the tabs typically gush about the elder Hiltons’ “$1 billion fortune,” Kathy and her husband Rick have long scraped by on freebies and a modest trust fund. “The truth is, there are so many Hiltons out there that each one is due only a few million,” a source close to the family says.

As a matter of fact, Paris comes out looking like the class act in the family. At least she earns money:

“Paris is the only one who is actually making her own money”—an estimated $10 million last year, from commercials, her perfume, appearance fees, and share of the earnings from One Night In Paris. While that’s certainly not chump change, in the circle of the absurdly rich it barely registers. “Kathy and Rick are hoping that with Latsis’s money behind them they’ll finally be able to claim their rightful place among the jet set,” says the source. “A few years ago [filmmaker] Jamie Johnson didn’t even consider the daughters rich enough to use in his documentary Born Rich.”

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

The Classless Society

2007-01-07T21:35:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was a businessman named Fred Khalilian. Unfortunately, his business got into a little bit of trouble.

From the Federal Trade Commission:

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT
MIDDLE DISTRICT OF FLORIDA
ORLANDO DIVISION

Case No. 6:00 -Civ-1057-ORL-19B

FEDERAL TRADE COMMISSION, ) Plaintiff,

v.

LEISURE TIME MARKETING, INC., a Florida Corporation;
DISCOVERY RENTAL, INC., d/b/a Discovery Rentals, Inc., a Florida Corporation;
MARLIN SWANSON;
BRITT SHENKMAN;
EDWARD M. SEBASTIAN; and
FEREIDOUN "FRED" KHALILIAN; Defendants.

STIPULATED FINAL ORDER OF PERMANENT INJUNCTION AGAINST FEREIDOUN "FRED" KHALILIAN...

IT IS...ORDERED that Defendant Fereidoun "Fred" Khalilian, and his officers, agents, directors, employees, salespersons, independent contractors, attorneys, corporations, subsidiaries, affiliates, successors, assigns, and all other persons in active concert or participation with him who receive actual notice of this Final Order by personal service or otherwise, whether acting directly or through any trust, corporation, subsidiary, division or other device, is hereby permanently restrained and enjoined from making expressly or by implication, any false or misleading representation or omission of any material fact in connection with the advertising, marketing, offering for sale or sale of any goods or services, including, but not limited to:

A. Making any misrepresentation that consumers will receive free goods or services;

B. Making any misrepresentation that the price quoted to a consumer in the sales solicitation is the total cost to purchase, receive or use the goods or services; and

C. Failing to disclose in a clear and conspicuous manner the conditions and restrictions to purchase, receive or use the goods or services.

And the Federal Communications Commission also had some words:

Dear Mr. Khalilian:

This is an official CITATION issued pursuant to section
503(b)(5) of the Communications Act of 1934, as amended (the
Communications Act).

It has come to our attention that your company recently sent
an unsolicited advertisement to a telephone facsimile machine
(see attachment). Pursuant to the Telephone Consumer Protection
Act of 1991 (TCPA), and the Commission's rules, it is unlawful to
use a ``telephone facsimile machine, computer, or other device to
send an unsolicited advertisement to a telephone facsimile
machine.'' 47 U.S.C. § 227(b)(1)(C); 47 C.F.R. § 64.1200(a)(3).

In addition to the violation identified above, it appears
that your company has also violated the provisions of the TCPA
and the Commission's rules that require any person or entity who
sends a message via a telephone facsimile machine to clearly mark
``in a margin at the top or bottom of each transmitted page of
the message or on the first page of the transmission, the date
and time it is sent and an identification of the business, other
entity, or individual sending the message and the telephone
number of the sending machine or of such business, other entity,
or individual.'' 47 U.S.C. § 227(d)(1)(B); 47 C.F.R. §
68.318(d).

Please be advised that subsequent violations of the
Communications Act or of the Commission's rules may result in the
imposition of monetary forfeitures not to exceed $11,000 for each
such violation or each day of a continuing violation. See 47
C.F.R. § 1.80(b)(3).

So, when you're mired in the muck of telemarketing scams and want to get into a more reputable business, what do you do?

Go into business with Paris Hilton and open Club Paris.

Khalilian basically got the right to use Paris' name, then planned a big grand opening at the Orlando club. Unfortunately, Hilton was late to her own club's opening:

The pink carpet was rolled out, the pink spotlights danced through the crisp night air of downtown Orlando, and everything seemed in place for the opening of Paris Hilton's first nightclub. Notably missing: One pink-loving hotel heiress.

Hilton arrived six hours behind schedule — after many guests had left. At least she had an heiress-appropriate excuse handy.

"I was in the Swiss Alps skiing and I got caught at the airport with all the holiday travel so I've been trying to travel for the past 24 hours," a smiling Hilton said after stepping out of a stretch SUV in front of the club shortly after 1 a.m. Friday.

After her friends, shouting "WOOOO," ran out of the nightclub to hug and kiss her in greeting, she apologized for her tardiness. "I'm so sorry I'm late."

A little blip, right? Well, when Club Paris opened a branch in Jacksonville, she didn't even show up at all.

[S]he was a no-show - often - for promised appearances (including opening night in Jacksonville on July 1).

"I was basically sick of hearing 'Where is Paris? Where is Paris?' " Khalilian said Thursday.

So Khalilian ended up trumping Hilton.

January 5, 2007 -- PARIS Hilton no longer has anything to do with the nightclubs named after her in Orlando and Jacksonville, Fla. - but they're still called "Club Paris" after that little city in France. The clubs dropped the ditzy heiress because she ducked out of scheduled promotional appearances, or showed up hours late. "It's all about: How has she screwed up now?" fumed owner Fred Khalilian. Hilton's flack, Elliot Mintz, said, "I'm certainly disappointed to learn of Fred's unfortunate comments."

But Khalilian, realizing that he couldn't do telemarketing to raise money to print new business cards, kept the "Club Paris" name. And he's searching for a new bimbo:

A Nationwide search will soon take place for the next Miss Club Paris USA! Audition dates, times and network to be announced.
After the initial audition, 300 of the most gorgeous, intelligent, and talented women in the nation will then be narrowed down to 36. From those 36 women, the top 18 will be guaranteed a deal for the Miss Club Paris USA calendar.

Out of those fabulous 18, the top 3 will advance as finalists, in hopes of winning the crown of Miss Club Paris USA!

The winner will receive a choice of a Mercedes Benz SLR McLaren or a Ferrari to drive for 12 months as well as a 12 month paid luxury apartment near Club Paris' corporate office, reasonable salary, and all expenses paid including travel and entertainment.

To audition, you must be female, 18-25, and a U.S. resident. Dancing, singing, or other performance talent is not required but is a huge plus! To submit your photo and resume, please visit a Club Paris location on any open night. Please, no phone calls or emails.

For audition information please check the website at www.clubparis.net

The winner will be required to attend all appearances, hosting, promotions, and anything related to marketing, print, etc. Club Paris will become the exclusive manager of Miss Club Paris USA, and anything further will be negotiated between both parties.

We wish you the best of luck, and like Fred says, "That's What's Up!"

Incidentally, I want to thank Jeff Pope for bringing the Club Paris story to my attention on his KGGI broadcast last week. He was riffing on the amount of stuff that Miss Club Paris USA will have to do to replicate Paris Hilton...

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

Ceremony (Old Order)

2007-01-02T07:48:00.000-08:00

It was a little after 6:00 in the morning in the Pacific time zone, and the sun had not yet risen as the ceremony commenced. Sure, Brit Hume and his buddies were covering Gerald Ford's flag-draped casket over 2,000 miles away, but Ford is best understood via a ceremony that was not covered by the networks - a ceremony in which I was proud to have participated.

First, I had to clothe myself in the appropriate attire. This particular ceremony did not call for a tuxedo, which would not have been appropriate at all. I specifically donned a San Francisco sweater, symbolizing the western half of our great country, and then I covered that with a leather jacket that was purchased from Target, representing the eastern half of our great country. (Yes, I realize that Minneapolis is on the west bank of the Mississippi. I hope you'll pardon me.)

Then, through a processional that involved many door openings, door closings, and use of a garage door key (not to be confused with the Office of the Keys), I transported the three cans out of my back yard, through the garage, and into my front yard.

One of these cans contained trash. In this ceremony, the trash represented the debris of the sordid portions of the Richard M. Nixon Administration (not to be confused with the non-sordid portions), which was being removed from my premises. Truly, our long household nightmare was over.

The other two cans represented a new beginning that emerged during the Ford Administration. Remember Johnny Horizon? I sure do. In fact, in my younger years, I put a sticker on my bedroom door from Johnny Horizon - "Let's clean up America for our 200th birthday." OK, maybe we didn't complete the task, but the fact that I was carting out recycling cans this morning indicated that we are still trying.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

Dana Carvey Movie Comes to Life

2006-12-29T14:44:00.000-08:00

It's a wonder that no one has attached the suffix "gate" to this little issue.

Careful readers of the Washington Post obituary for Gerald Ford will notice that said obituary was written by J. Y. Smith and Lou Cannon.

However, I kinda sorta suspect that it was Cannon, not Smith, who made the final revisions to the obituary copy.

Why do I suspect this? Because J. Y. Smith himself died almost a year ago.

Wonkette provides details:

As Drudge so cruelly notes, Washington Post obituary writer J.Y. Smith died nearly a year before he reported on Gerald Ford’s tragic death in today’s paper. How did Joe Smith do it? Did he return from Beyond the Grave, possibly to help the ghost of James Brown in killing the 93-year-old ex-prez?

Probably, but this is also another reminder that obits are waiting on pretty much every public figure — especially anyone older than 50.

So why does Smith still get credit for something that he drafted some time ago? Because it turns out that Smith was Mr. Obituary:

J.Y. Smith, 74, a former foreign correspondent who transformed the backwater reputation of The Washington Post obituaries desk as its first official editor, died Jan. 17 at his home in Annandale. He had lung cancer....

Mr. Smith helped cover the trial of the Hanafi Muslims who in 1977 armed themselves heavily, took hostages and shot up a city government building, the Islamic Center and B'nai B'rith International. One person was killed.

Until that time, Metro editors routinely tapped young, inexperienced or bored-looking staffers to write the major obits that flashed across the wire. The "anybody free?" method had persisted even as The Post emerged as a national newspaper in the early 1970s by publishing the Pentagon Papers and breaking the Watergate scandal.

The Post's obit tactics at the time contrasted embarrassingly with policies in force at other leading papers, from the Times of London to the New York Times, which had dedicated staff members to craft prominent obituaries....

In 1977, [Leonard] Downie [Jr.] had a large part in Mr. Smith being named the obituaries editor.

The beginning was not particularly easy, with Mr. Smith writing on deadline about figures as diverse as silent-film genius Charlie Chaplin and Hitler associate Albert Speer. He managed many gems despite the immediacy of deadlines....

The job was often filled with pressures, but he was attuned to the necessity of compassion and appreciation of a life. "The occasion for obituaries is death, which is sad. But the subject of obituaries is life itself, which is wonderful," he once wrote....

His tenure as The Post's obituaries editor from 1977 to 1988 coincided with the first deaths from AIDS. Mr. Smith retained a staunch belief that "the newspaper has a duty to reflect the world as it really is," he wrote in The Post in 1987. "That is the whole point of journalism, and it is the single best reason for citing AIDS as a cause of death."

He suggested that those wishing to conceal information or have entire control over content could buy a paid death notice.

"People try to deny painful memories," he wrote. "In this way death is the enemy of common sense and, unless one is very careful, death always wins. Denying painful memories is to deny part of the life itself."

Witness the following in Smith's own obituary:

Mr. Smith had a complex history at The Post. He was admired for the crispness of his storytelling and the breadth of his capabilities, but he also was an alcoholic and his addiction made him erratic for years until he joined Alcoholics Anonymous and quit drinking in 1983....

In 1989, when Redskins player Dexter Manley was disciplined by the National Football League after he tested positive for substance abuse, Mr. Smith discussed publicly his own addiction to alcohol and his recovery.

"I first hit bottom when I was arrested for driving while intoxicated," he wrote. "Some years later, after another period of drinking and recovery, I found myself living in a dark little room in a blighted neighborhood where not even the best days found much of happiness and where the police were always in the local convenience store and fast-food outlet to keep peace among the inhabitants.

"My anchor at that time was the people who could help me with alcoholism. The truth is that because I asked every day for help I wasn't even tempted to pick up a drink."

Smith's obituary, incidentally, was written by Adam Bernstein.

I think.

Incidentally, there is no evidence that either Smith or Ford died from being eaten by wolves.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

The Rest of the Bob Woodward Interview

2006-12-28T16:08:00.000-08:00

Until I returned home from my trip to Las Vegas, the only part of the Bob Woodward interview of Gerald Ford that was receiving coverage was Ford's criticism of the Bush administration stance on Iraq. From the article:

Ford "very strongly" disagreed with the current president's justifications for invading Iraq and said he would have pushed alternatives, such as sanctions, much more vigorously....

"Rumsfeld and Cheney and the president made a big mistake in justifying going into the war in Iraq. They put the emphasis on weapons of mass destruction," Ford said. "And now, I've never publicly said I thought they made a mistake, but I felt very strongly it was an error in how they should justify what they were going to do."...

"Well, I can understand the theory of wanting to free people," Ford said, referring to Bush's assertion that the United States has a "duty to free people." But the former president said he was skeptical "whether you can detach that from the obligation number one, of what's in our national interest." He added: "And I just don't think we should go hellfire damnation around the globe freeing people, unless it is directly related to our own national security."

But other portions of Woodward's article were equally fascinating - at least to me. Here's part of what Ford said about Henry Kissinger:

"I think he was a super secretary of state," Ford said, "but Henry in his mind never made a mistake, so whatever policies there were that he implemented, in retrospect he would defend."...

Kissinger remained a challenge for Ford. He regularly threatened to resign, the former president recalled. "Over the weekend, any one of 50 weekends, the press would be all over him, giving him unshirted hell. Monday morning he would come in and say, 'I'm offering my resignation.' Just between Henry and me. And I would literally hold his hand. 'Now, Henry, you've got the nation's future in your hands and you can't leave us now.' Henry publicly was a gruff, hard-nosed, German-born diplomat, but he had the thinnest skin of any public figure I ever knew."

Ford added, "Any criticism in the press drove him crazy." Kissinger would come in and say: "I've got to resign. I can't stand this kind of unfair criticism." Such threats were routine, Ford said. "I often thought, maybe I should say: 'Okay, Henry. Goodbye,' " Ford said, laughing. "But I never got around to that."

But Ford was also critical of himself:

He recalled, for example, his unsuccessful 1976 campaign to remain in office, when he was under enormous pressure to dump Vice President Nelson A. Rockefeller from the Republican ticket. Some polls at the time showed that up to 25 percent of Republicans, especially those from the South, would not vote for Ford if Rockefeller, a New Yorker from the liberal wing of the Republican Party, was on the ticket.

When Rockefeller offered to be dropped from the ticket, Ford took him up on it. But he later regretted it. The decision to dump the loyal Rockefeller, he said, was "an act of cowardice on my part."

And Ford held his tongue on one other matter:

After Saigon fell in 1975 and the United States evacuated from Vietnam, Ford was often labeled the only American president to lose a war. The label always rankled.

"Well," he said, "I was mad as hell, to be honest with you, but I never publicly admitted it."

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

Is this progress?

2006-12-28T15:47:00.000-08:00

Perhaps this belongs in the Technoblog, but I'm not sure.

I was looking at Wikitree's genealogical entry for Leslie Lynch King, Sr. and noticed the following (emphasis mine):

Gender (at birth): male

And no, I was unable to find a Walter Carlos entry in Wikitree.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Information on the greatest 20th century U.S. president here)

Alexander Cockburn Raked the Lawn

2006-12-28T15:26:00.000-08:00

Let's look at this, which was written after the November 2000 elections:

And our greatest president? One who never even received a popular mandate either as veep or president: Gerald Ford. Here's fresh evidence of his sterling merits, just in from a new report by the House Budget Committee's Democratic minority staff tabulating growth of non-defense appropriations by presidency. Average annual percent change in real outlays, adjusted for timing shifts. Ford (1973-1977) -- 7.2 percent; Nixon (1969-1973) -- 4.3 percent; Bush (1989-1993) -- 3.8 percent; Johnson (1965-1969) -- 2.7 percent; Carter (1977-1981) -- 2.2 percent; Clinton (1993-2001) -- 2.0 percent; Reagan (1981-1989) -- -1.3 percent. A true heir to FDR in public disbursements and the only White House denizen indisputably elevated to that position without vote fraud.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

[12/28/2006 - my del.icio.us tags for Gerald R. Ford Jr. are here.]

I'm Gerald Ford And You're Not

2006-12-28T15:17:00.000-08:00

From a live chat that Scholastic held in 1995 with Gerald Ford:

Question: Really, what DID you think of Chevy Chase's impersonations of you? Did you ever meet him? -- Mrs. Arlene Gaudioso's Fifth Grade, Rohrerstown Elementary School, Lancaster, PA.

President Ford: I enjoyed, up to a point, Chevy Chase's impersonations. Yes, my wife and I have met and had an opportunity to get acquainted with Chevy Chase. He is a very skillful entertainer who had a sharp and penetrating sense of humor. I have learned over the years in the political arena that you cannot be thin-skinned. You have to take the good with the bad.

From Reuters/Yahoo:

Comedian Chevy Chase...praised the former president on Wednesday and said they later became friendly in spite of the biting comedy routines....

"He had never been elected period, so I never felt that he deserved to be there to begin with," the actor said about Ford, who died on Tuesday at age 93. "That was just the way I felt then as a young man and as a writer and a liberal."

"Later on we became friends and he was a very, very sweet man," Chase said in a telephone interview from a Colorado ski resort. "He took my wife and I on a whole lovely trip through Grand Rapids to show us where he had been as a child and what not. We kept in touch and he was just a terrific guy."

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

[12/28/2006 - my del.icio.us tags for Gerald R. Ford Jr. are here.]

A Non-Beltway Perspective on the Death of Gerald Ford

2006-12-28T15:13:00.000-08:00

When you're traveling, you're cut off from your usual information sources. As a result, I learned of Gerald Ford's death from a news break on ESPN Radio 920 in Las Vegas.

For those who don't know, there was a reason that ESPN Radio covered the Ford story:

Ford was one of the nation's fittest and most athletic presidents.

Ford, who has died at age 93, played center on the University of Michigan football team, where he was a three-year letter winner. His teams enjoyed consecutive undefeated, national championship seasons in 1932 and 1933. He was the Wolverines' most valuable player in 1934 and, on Jan. 1, 1935, he played in a college all-star game known today as the East West Shrine Game....

After graduating from Michigan, Ford turned down offers from the Detroit Lions and the Green Bay Packers to play in the National Football League, said Don Holloway, curator of Ford's presidential museum in Grand Rapids.

Instead, Ford went to Yale University to become an assistant football and boxing coach, with the hope that it would help him get accepted into Yale Law School. Ironically, his coaching duties delayed his acceptance until spring 1938.

And the rest is, quite literally, history.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

[12/28/2006 - my del.icio.us tags for Gerald R. Ford Jr. are here.]

New York Times - Gerald Ford Was Right, Part Two

2006-12-28T15:10:00.000-08:00

Here comes another one, courtesy the New York Times obituary:

Mr. Ford’s decision to back the 1975 Helsinki Accords was furiously criticized in 1976 by both Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan. They complained that it had legitimized the post-World War II borders in Europe. But in his book “The Cold War: A New History” (Penguin, 2005), John Lewis Gaddis of Yale wrote that the pact’s commitment to “human rights and fundamental freedoms” became a trap for the Soviet Union, which was facing ever-bolder condemnations by dissidents.

“Thousands of people who lacked the prominence of Solzhenitsyn and Sakharov began to stand with them in holding the U.S.S.R. and its satellites accountable for human rights,” Mr. Gaddis wrote. The Helsinki process, he added, became “the basis for legitimizing opposition to Soviet rule.”

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

[12/28/2006 - my del.icio.us tags for Gerald R. Ford Jr. are here.]

New York Times - Gerald Ford Was Right, Part One

2006-12-28T15:08:00.000-08:00

Any discussion of the White Album will have to wait.

From the New York Times:

The pardon, intensely unpopular at the time, came to be generally viewed as correct. In May 2001, Mr. Ford was honored with a “Profile in Courage” Award at the John F. Kennedy Library in Boston. Senator Edward M. Kennedy spoke and said he had originally opposed the pardon. “But time has a way of clarifying past events,” he said, “and now we see that President Ford was right.”

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

[12/28/2006 - my del.icio.us tags for Gerald R. Ford Jr. are here.]

The Name of the Blog is James Brown, James Brown

2006-12-25T14:31:00.000-08:00

Christmas brought me, among other things (one very pertinent to this blog) the CD with the enhanced version of "The Name of This Band is Talking Heads," something that I owned (in its unenhanced version) on cassette years and years ago. More about this CD later, but for now suffice it to say that the concerts on the CD predate the "Stop Making Sense" concert, which included one non-Talking Heads, song, "Gratuitous Name-Dropping." No, that was not the official name of the Tom Tom Club song, but it might as well have been, with the references to Sly and Robbie Shakespeare, etc., etc. ad nauseum, concluding with Chris Frantz repeatedly saying "James Brown...James Brown...."

Credit Michael Hanscom for bringing this piece of relevant news to my attention this Christmas day:

James Brown, the dynamic, pompadoured "Godfather of Soul," whose rasping vocals and revolutionary rhythms made him a founder of rap, funk and disco as well, died early Monday, his agent said. He was 73.

Brown was hospitalized with pneumonia at Emory Crawford Long Hospital on Sunday and died around 1:45 a.m. Monday....

Along with Elvis Presley, Bob Dylan and a handful of others, Brown was one of the major musical influences of the past 50 years. At least one generation idolized him, and sometimes openly copied him....

His rapid-footed dancing inspired Mick Jagger and Michael Jackson among others. Songs such as David Bowie's "Fame," Prince's "Kiss," George Clinton's "Atomic Dog" and Sly and the Family Stone's "Sing a Simple Song" were clearly based on Brown's rhythms and vocal style....

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Snohomish Responds to the Post-Brett Karch Characterization of Their Town

2006-12-21T19:26:00.000-08:00

Remember how I said that there could be more to this story than meets the eye? Well, the mayor of Snohomish and the superintendent of schools have responded to the negative picture of the citizens of Snohomish.

DRAFT 12/21/06
Op-Ed Submission to the Post-Intelligencer
By Randy Hamlin, Mayor of Snohomish and Dr. William Mester, Superintendent
of Schools for the Snohomish School District

We read with great interest the article in the Seattle P-I about the threats made
against Brett Karch, a student and JROTC member whose leg was severely
injured when a ceremonial cannon exploded near him during a Snohomish High
School football game. As a result of an ongoing investigation, criminal charges
have been forwarded to their prosecutor by the City of Everett against one of the
two individuals who apparently placed threats against Brett while he was
hospitalized in Everett.

Like many of the P-I’s readers, we are both saddened and angry about this
incident. It appears that Brett Karch has been victimized by one or two
individuals who displayed an inhuman lack of compassion and a wildly misplaced
sense of values. We were shocked to read that an injured high school student
would be threatened—while still in his hospital bed—by one or more adults more
concerned about maintaining the tradition of this cannon’s use during football
games than they are about his well-being and recovery.

The P-I story and its blog site resulted in generating nearly 400 emails sent to the
City of Snohomish. Many of these email messages understandably expressed
outrage at the idea of a student being threatened by adults who wanted to ensure
the continuance of this football game tradition. We were dismayed, however, in
seeing that many of these emails also asserted that such behavior by these
individuals may somehow represent the values of our community.

We would encourage the P-I’s readers to not judge an entire community by the
actions of a very few. Snohomish is a town of 9,000 people and the school
district area that feeds our single high school contains 30,000 people. In fact, the
Snohomish community and school district have reached out to support Brett
Karch and his family.

In the two weeks of hospital confinement Brett received regular visits from
teachers, school and district administrators and students representing JROTC
and student body. Several hundred get well cards were sent to Brett from the
high school students; the football team sent Brett an autographed football to
express their support. In November, JROTC students went to Brett’s house to
bring his recliner from home to the school so he could attend the JROTC annual
ball. He was also warmly greeted by his high school peers at the annual
Veterans’ Day Assembly, where he was honored for his service to JROTC and
Snohomish High School. Additionally, significant assistance to the Karch family
has been coordinated through a local community church. Unfortunately, it
appears one or two people have tarnished this reputation by their behavior.

Most people of our community were unaware of what was happening because
the City of Everett police have investigated quietly as is the normal course in
such criminal matters. We anticipate now that information is being released, our
community will continue to reach out to Brett and his family during his recovery.

We encourage Brett Karch and his family not to be intimidated by anyone who
would expect anything less than honesty in this matter. We also urge swift and
just outcomes for any individuals found guilty of making threats against this
young man. These are the values that we believe truly represent the vast
majority of our community.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

The Power of the Media - Are the People of Snohomish, Washington TRULY Evil Grinches Who Want Brett Karch to Die a Miserable Death?

2006-12-21T08:40:00.000-08:00

I forget who said that if it's in print, it must be true, but that person would certainly take note of the snowballing ramifications of a single news article in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. (Thanks to Michael Hanscom for tagging this particular item.)

The cannon shot that ripped into Brett Karch's leg, causing a gaping combat-style wound, has also torn a hole in his hometown community of Snohomish.

Karch, whose leg was nearly amputated and who faces more than a year of physical rehabilitation with an uncertain outcome, has been the target of physical threats because of fears his injury will jeopardize the community's tradition of firing the ceremonial cannon before each high school football game and after touchdowns....

But the shot that nearly took off Brett Karch's leg now leaves the fate of that tradition in the air, and that has upset some in the community.

According to Karch's medical records, security guards notified police after Karch received disturbing phone calls and visits from parents and students, some of whom threatened to "break his other leg" or worse, if he didn't keep quiet about the accident. Hospital staff had to move him to a secure room where they monitored visitors.

Callers and visitors told Karch they would "make sure his other leg got blown off," and that "there would be retaliation" if the family cooperated in an investigation that could end the cannon tradition, said Mary Bissel, Karch's mother. "That's when I kind of got a little upset," Karch said.

The threats also included mention the family would be "banned from the town," Bissell said. She's been warned not to talk to a lawyer, or reporters.

The allegations of threats, as well as the cause of the accident, remain under investigation. Hospital security reported the threats to the Everett Police Department, but police, who came to the hospital to interview Karch and his mother, won't release the incident report, citing the open investigation into the cause of the accident.

The article, written by Carol Smith, is the only media coverage that I have been able to find of this incident, although other media sources have derived stories based upon Carol Smith's article (but adding no new information).

For what it's worth, one should note that a news report often only gives part of the full story of what's going on. Carol Smith concentrated her story on the perspective of Brett Karch and his mother. I don't believe that Smith had any journalistic obligation to interview every resident of Snohomish, but I believe that we the readers of the story had an obligation to realize that parts of the story may not yet have been told.

However, some readers have taken Smith's story as the full and complete gospel truth, and drawn conclusions about the residents of Snohomish.

Exhibit One: a petition against the ridiculous acts of Snohomish:

Many people through news communities on the internet such as Fark and Digg (others may be unlisted) and other news headlines on the internet were VERY upset to read what the community of Snohomish has actually done. Through these articles we found out the true nature of many in the Snohomish community, eager for football and willing to risk a life for it. This petition is being started to show every single person who cares about a sport over the well-being of a human being, that there are A LOT of people out there who think they are irrational and are the best examples of the sad people in this world.

Now, when did Carol Smith claim that the entire town of Snohomish exhibits this so-called "true nature"? Assuming the facts in the story are accurate, it's likely that only a few people made the threats. Does that mean that the entire town should be tarred and feathered?

Let's move on to Exhibit Two, a fundraiser:

Brett Karch, an ROTC student, almost lost his leg due to a cannon explosion at a football game. The town's reaction? Threaten to break his other leg if the story gets out to the media causing them to possibly lose their ritual shooting of the cannon during football games....Just because a small ignorant town turns their back on Brett does not mean we will.

Again, how do we conclude that the entire town of Snohomish is united in their contempt of Brett Karch? I'll grant that no one came to his party, but perhaps there are other reasons for this that Carol Smith was unable to uncover.

Let's give Snohomish the benefit of the doubt. I can't fathom that the entire town is football-happy. In fact, if you go to the school district itself, you'll see that they are devoted to general education, and in fact have set up a scholarship fund:

The Dick Armstrong Memorial Scholarship Fund is dedicated to the memory of Dick Armstrong, former Snohomish High School teacher and football coach. The Snohomish Education Foundation is working in cooperation with a group of alumni to create a scholarship fund in his honor. The Fund has been established to help create a life-size bronze statue of Armstrong at Veterans Memorial Stadium....

Um...umm...yeah, Snohomish is...dedicated to education! Yes, that's wonderful! Let's read on for the educational content:

Snohomish High School alumni spanning 32 years are working together to honor their former football coach and teacher, Dick Armstrong.

Armstrong started his career in Snohomish in 1963 as a biology and physical education teacher and—unforgettably—as head football coach.

Note the importance of Armstrong's work as a biology teacher, and the lasting impact that this has had on the community - impact that lasted for nearly half a sentence.

OK, maybe I chose a bad example.

Let's see the initial local coverage of the explosion. This was published on Friday, October 13, 2006:

Future of school cannon unclear
The Snohomish High School cannon blew up during a game last week.

By Melissa Slager
Herald Writer

It remains to be seen if a 36-year-old tradition will go by the wayside next week when Snohomish High School holds its next football game.

A smoke-blowing, booming cannon that marked the start of each home game and Panther touchdown since 1970 blew up at the homecoming game Oct. 6, seriously injuring one student and causing minor injuries to four others.

"At this point we have not determined anything with the cannon," said Shannon Parthemer, a spokeswoman for the district. "The school district's primary concern remains the welfare of the students involved."

A sophomore boy remains hospitalized at Providence Everett Medical Center's Colby campus after being injured by the blast.

He has had multiple surgeries on his leg, according to school staff. The family requested his name not be released.

Four other students received minor injuries and were released at the game to their parents....

Mack and other school staff have visited the injured boy in the hospital.

"He seemed upbeat, was talkative and alert," Mack said. The boy's hospital room is decorated with "Get Well" cards. "He thinks the hospital food is great."

Again, if you look at Melissa Slager's article, you get an entirely different perspective of the same situation. The boy is getting a a lot of visitors. People are sending "Get Well" cards. Things sound wonderful.

Of course, you can read between the lines of Slager's article, and note that there's no evidence of anyone other than school staff visiting the boy. And why is the boy anonymous?

Frankly, I think that Slager and Smith are probably missing a huge chunk of the story. For example, what if the ROTC members are considered the school nerds, and Karch is considered the nerdiest of the nerds? Or perhaps Karch's mother caught Snohomish's mayor snorting cocaine under the football bleachers. We just don't know.

But I suspect that the popular vision of an entire town wanting to break both of Brett Karch's legs is not the truth.

[FOLLOWUP: SNOHOMISH RESPONDS.]

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

My name is Michael, I've got a nickel

2006-12-19T12:49:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to say that this "Bean Runt" thing probably won't go anywhere. After all, my Rita Moreno of Arte thing never took off.

Postscript - now I know why Clint Holmes is famous.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Does Bean Runt wear small shoes?

2006-12-19T12:23:00.000-08:00

If this were a hospital, I would present the material below in an orderly fashion.

I am capable of doing this, as my previous post about Joyce "Troutgirl" Park indicates.

Actually, I am presenting this in an orderly fashion, but perhaps the order isn't apparent to the casual reader. (Think of the order of the White Album and you'll be in sync.)

Let's start with this blog post written on November 14, 2006:

If you want further proof that this language of ours is utter chaos, then here is something that was written by Dr. Gerald Nolst Trenite (1870-1946), a Dutch observer of English.

Try reading this aloud and try and imagine how hard it would be for a NON native english person. Apparantly a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months at hard labor to reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself....

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

You caught the key word in that post, didn't you? Hint: rhymes with booze.

Now let's go to the same blog and find a poultry joke from October 4, 2006.

Over the coming weeks I am going to be attempting my very first viral campaign.

A viral campaign is something that has interested me for a long time, and if done properly it can be one of the most powerful tools any webmaster has.

So what is a viral campaign?

For this viral campaign I have chosen Bird Flu. My aim will be to get an infected chicken and take it to Asda with me at peak hours.

Laugh with me.

Now let's move to a post on another blog dated December 13, 2006:

[S]ome no-name just getting started in the world of SEO...recently posted a letter that he claims to have received from an on-line business owner. In the letter, the business owner says that [no-name's] site is ranking better on some term (we’re not told) that is important to his business, and asks [no-name] to remove himself from the rankings on that term.

[no-name] wrote the man back and told him to stuff it, basically. The man wrote back again and this time threatened legal action if he does not remove himself from the google rankings.

I call BS.

But on the very same day, InfoWorld covered the story differently:

Suppose you're an online vendor who's displeased with the ranking of your business Web site on Google. Well, you could try tweaking your ad words. Perhaps you could consider better marketing. Heck, maybe you could contact Google for answers or guidance. You might get lucky.

Or you might conclude that the best approach is to ask that people with higher-ranked sites de-Google themselves immediately.

Astonishingly, an unnamed e-merchant out there in cyberspace has taken the latter approach, sending threatening letters to blogger [no-name]. ([no-name's] blog, by the way, is called "[no-name-o's] World - Internet Marketing, Madrid, Life, SEO & More." It appears to cover all types of topics.)

Including search engine optimization. Here's more from InfoWorld:

While we wait to hear from Mr. Nutjob's attorney, how about we speculate on just what search term he wants to claim as his own? My co-worker Stephanie suggested it's SEO, which is in the title of [no-name's] blog. SEO stands for search engine optimization, and apparently, [no-name] knows a thing or two about that subject -- at least relative to others out there.

On a completely related topic, your National Institutes of Health is reporting things that real or ersatz online shoe salespeople need to know:

BJU Int. 2002 Oct;90(6):586-7. Links
Can shoe size predict penile length?Shah J, Christopher N.
Department of Urology, St. Mary's Hospital, London, UK. jyoti.shah@ic.ac.uk

OBJECTIVE: To establish if the 'myth' about whether the size of a man's penis can be estimated from his shoe size has any basis, in fact. SUBJECTS AND METHODS: Two urologists measured the stretched penile length of 104 men in a prospective study and related this to their shoe size. RESULTS: The median stretched penile length for the sampled population was 13 cm and the median UK shoe size was 9 (European 43). There was no statistically significant correlation between shoe size and stretched penile length. CONCLUSION: The supposed association of penile length and shoe size has no scientific basis.

Postscript: as far as I know, I am the first person to use the phrase "Bean Runt" as a proper name. Other persons interested in viral marketing may want to jump on the bandwagon also.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Ecosexuality

2006-12-14T13:17:00.000-08:00

I'm glad I'm not dating today. I'd have to worry about ecosexuality.

San Francisco designer Rachel Pearson, 33, owns a successful line of children’s clothing made of organic cotton that also meets international fair-trade rules. For herself she favors clothing from thrift stores—“Not buying new,” she says, “eases the toll on the earth.” A vegetarian, she recycles religiously and loves to pamper herself with yoga and meditation.

There’s another arena in which Pearson upholds green values, and it can create a bit of an etiquette problem. “I won’t date a guy who doesn’t recycle,” she says. “He doesn’t have to wear nonleather shoes, but he has to get it.” And woe betide the guy who doesn’t.

For a while she was happily dating a film producer from Los Angeles who, she thought, was definitely on her eco-wavelength. But one morning they went out for breakfast, and Mr. Right ordered an all-meat meal and doused his coffee with several packets of Equal. “I was dumbstruck,” says Pearson. “I think I ate my entire meal in silence. Pork plus NutraSweet? That was definitely our last date.”

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

I'm not a cowboy. I'm a treeherder.

2006-12-12T23:53:00.000-08:00

Got a danged song stuck in my head again.

Wikipedia:

A Forest is a song by British rock band The Cure. It was released as a single on April 8, 1980, and was the only single from their second album Seventeen Seconds....

The song is fairly upbeat compared to the other material on the album, and Lol Tolhurst's machine-like steady beat together with Simon Gallup's minimalistic bassline gives this nervous chase more depth and keeps the song on the edge of a frantic groove until the end.

Though not their biggest hit, it is regarded by many fans and critics as the best example of The Cure's sound....

[T]he most notorious performance of this song is the so-called "Robert Palmer"-version, performed at the Werchter Festival in Belgium, July 5, 1981. Everything was late at the festival, and the crowd was mostly there to see artists that were at the time bigger than The Cure, like Dire Straits and Robert Palmer, of whom the latter happened to be the next on stage after The Cure. After twelve songs, Palmer's roadies said that if The Cure didn't stop playing soon, they would pull the plug. They reached a compromise that they would play one song before they left, opting for "A Forest", which they decided to play a lot longer than what was normal at the time, with Robert Smith adding some lyrics improvised on the spot (including the words: "Such a long end" repeated several times). When the band finally finished, bass player Simon Gallup yelled into the microphone....

Well, let's just say that Gallup wasn't addicted to Robert Palmer.

rateyourmusic.com:

Cold, dark, monochrome and downright creepy, 'A Forest' was a blast of genius from a band I was convinced would never be heard of again....Robert Smith's vocal here was plaintive and other-worldly..

allmusic:

[I]n its original studio form "A Forest" is and remains a surprisingly spare song, suggesting rather than directly producing its astonishing overall effect. Starting with a low, steady four-note synth hook from Matthieu Hartley, Robert Smith then adds an equally stripped-down guitar line, with slight variations popping up when bassist Simon Gallup adds a brief quote. Lol Tolhurst's reverse-echoed drums then set the nervous, uncertain pace for the remainder of the song, while Smith quietly lays down a series of chugging, psych-via- surf rock guitar melodies that would swiftly become the group's overall trademark. The overall performance is remarkably straightforward and unassuming, making it remarkably catchy and artistic angst....

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

In which I again visit Blogpatrol and use the opportunity to veer into tangential commentary

2006-12-12T07:47:00.000-08:00

According to Blogpatrol, I have crossed the 100,000 visitor mark. So this is as good a time as any to see what is on the minds of the Americans, Sumois, and Ivory Coasters that are coming here:

christopher nance

Don't know if there's a new court date or not, because his website doesn't appear to have been updated. Incidentally, I happened to see one of his books, something along the lines of "I'm going to see the weatherman today, and he is my hero and is completely wonderful." Kinda sad when you write a fiction book to promote hero worship about yourself. Willard Scott, for all his faults, looks better and better every day.

Angi Taylor

Haven't heard if she's working full time or not.

Helen Marnie

She is DEFINITELY working. Since Ladytron is one of my close personal MySpace friends, I'm informed of their touring schedule. And no, I didn't see Ladytron in Hollywood on Halloween. It requires a major effort to even see my cousin when she's playing out that way.

krystal fernandez

This is probably as good a time as any to note that AM 570, purportedly a sports station, has now actually shifted to a sports format. Phil Hendrie has been replaced by Joe McDonnell, and Greasemancow or whatever (Mancow) has been replaced by a local show with Fred Roggin, T. J. Simers, and Tracy Simers. As far as I know, no Krystal Fernandez on the air out here (except perhaps in Lancaster).

michael jackson

Mama, tell us 'bout the good ole days.

bart mckay

McKay is with McLane Company. (Wonder if you have to be Irish to work there.) See here and here.

nikki cappelli

Again I'm going to go off on a tangent. It's early December, and already people are afraid to say the dreaded words "Super Bowl." Just heard a Troy Aikman commercial in which he referred to "the big game." (Website here.) What is this, a lion safari? (Bears maybe, but not lions.)

lee klein( Klac)

Sorry Lee, I'm usually asleep by that time. Or I'm not listening to radio at any rate.

are enya and sinead o'connor cousins

No, but the Edge and Bob Geldof are stepbrothers.

I'm kidding. Actually, Andrew McCluskey is Paul McCartney's love child.

confetti pyrotechnic

I don't even remember talking about this. Did I talk about the Pepsi commercial or something?

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Music - Want or Need?

2006-12-11T12:16:00.000-08:00

Heard part of Adam Carolla's Free FM show this morning. The bit that I heard involved the banning of songs from the radio that either

never were good to begin with, or

sounded good the first twenty-five times that radio played them, but became tiring with repetition.

During the course of the discussion, the following songs were mentioned:

Led Zeppelin, "Stairway to Heaven"

Depeche Mode, "People Are People"

Bob Seger, "Old Time Rock N Roll"

Eagles, "Heartache Tonight"

Bruce Springsteen, "Born in the USA"

Billy Idol, "Mony Mony"

There were several others, but I guess Carolla's citation of "People Are People" got under my craw. Carolla stated that he knew of no one who would play that song at home. Carolla must have selective memory, since he did work at KROQ around the time that Richard Blade was there, and I personally suspect that Blade has "People Are People" permanently loaded in every CD changer he owns.

For the record, I do not own "People Are People." For some reason, this song was not included on "Catching Up With Depeche Mode", which is a pity. There are times when a band just gets into a groove, and everything that they release turns to gold, or platinum. Take a look at the singles that Depeche Mode released in 1983 and 1984:

"Get the Balance Right!" 13 on UK singles chart

"Everything Counts" 6 on UK singles chart

"Love, in Itself" 21 on UK singles chart

"People Are People" 4 on UK singles chart, 13 on US Hot 100

"Master and Servant" 9 on UK singles chart, 87 on US Hot 100

"Blasphemous Rumours / Somebody" 1 on UK singles chart

Similarly, look at New Order's singles released between 1983 and 1987.

But Depeche Mode and New Order, hot as they were, were not the top musical artists of the 1980s. This article illustrates who the 1980s triumvirate really was:

It's difficult to get across to students the full impact of Michael Jackson in the early 80s. They've all grown up in a post-Michael world ... they've seen the moonwalk a thousand times ... and Michael himself has gotten a bit weird over the years. And so students bring their preconceived notions of Michael Jackson to the table, and they don't get the revolutionary nature of his work, and they see elements of today's Michael whenever they watch early-80s Michael, and so they think "yeah, I remember back in the day when Michael Jackson was the shit" as if he was just the R. Kelly of his day.

Well, that's not true. The early/mid-80s were, among other things, one of the key periods in recent American pop culture not just for stars, but for SUPERSTARS. There were artists like Prince and Bruce Springsteen, transcendent figures, for better or worse. Bruce sold 15 million copies of Born in the USA, then released a live box-set that at the time was claimed to have kickstarted the CD revolution (people bought CD players just to make it easier to listen to Bruce Live). Prince sold 13 million copies of Purple Rain, the movie grossed $68 million in the States, and Prince got himself an Oscar in the process.

And yet these guys were pikers compared to Michael Jackson. Thriller has sold something like 26 million copies. Michael Jackson was the crossover act supreme, arguably the last such musician America has seen. His music was popular with a diverse audience.

For another view of Jackson, Nelson, and Springsteen, take a look at the top albums of 1984, week by week. The "Footloose" soundtrack held the top spot for ten weeks, and Huey Lewis & the News held the top spot for one week. For the rest of the year, the top spot was oocupied by Thriller, Born in the U.S.A., and Purple Rain.

But Depeche Mode did have one thing in common with the 1984 triumvirate - none of them played at Live Aid.

Several major artists did not perform at Live Aid for a variety of reasons. Bruce Springsteen, Prince, and Michael Jackson, who were the three hottest stars at that time, did not participate at Live Aid. Springsteen was touring England even up to seven days before the concert, but as he was in the middle of an eighteen month tour and had just got married, he couldn't work it in. Geldof keep working on Springsteen, and even had dinner with him as an effort to get him to play. Even hours before the finale in Philadelphia rumors were circulating that he was going to show up; it never happened. Prince had just retired from public performance; however, he would return to the stage soon after his retirement. "Michael Jackson just didn't seem to want to do it."

This reminds me of a Saturday Night Live sketch with, if I recall correctly, Billy Crystal, Mr. T., and Hulk Hogan, in which Crystal (as P.R. Nelson) sang "I Am Also the World." (I did recall correctly.)

Which gets us to the story of Band Aid and Live Aid:

At a time of famine in Africa, you see, and Midge Ure and Bob Geldof didn't like the idea of people starving in Africa while people were getting fat in England. So they wrote a nice Christmas song and they called up their friends to help them record it, and the money they made went to African famine relief.

Thing was, they didn't invite the Americans to help, which is odd because the Americans are notoriously fatter than the English. Not to be outdone, a bunch of American singers got together and recorded their own African famine relief tune. They called themselves USA for Africa - the USA officially stood for United Support of Artists, but after being excluded by the Brits everyone knew exactly what the USA really stood for.

To make a short story slightly longer, the song - which was not even almost as good as Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas" - was a really big hit and sold a lot of copies. The combined success of both tracks was so impressive that a big concert was held, simultaneously here in the States and in London. All the big names showed up, Bowie and Jagger made a cheap video, people phoned in contributions, advertisers coughed up for commercial spots, and a mountain of money was made.

A lot of money. Loads of money. Heh.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

The Personal Politics of Guilt

2006-12-11T12:09:00.000-08:00

Yea, we laugh at the nonsense in a parent telling a kid to clean his plate and eat his green onions because children are starving in [enter name of Fourth World country here.] As if the kid's failure to eat the food will lead to widespread death and starvation in the non-American areas.

Well, allposters.com has taken the concept and run with it:

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Still hungry?

2006-12-11T11:44:00.000-08:00

Followup.

A few days ago, I noted that McLane had issued no press release concerning the Taco Bell E. coli situation. Well, now they have. Excerpts:

McLane Foodservice, Inc., the distributor to the Taco Bell restaurants reportedly linked to the recent E. coli outbreak in several northeastern states, announced today that a site investigation by the New Jersey Department of Health and Environmental Services (NJDHES) has found no evidence of improper storage or handling practices by McLane....

"We are extremely pleased the State of New Jersey's investigation appears to have confirmed what we at McLane already believed, namely, that any contamination in all likelihood occurred at a source other than McLane," said Tom Zatina, President of McLane Foodservice. "Because all green onion products arrive to us in sealed cellophane bags inside sealed corrugated boxes, we have felt from the beginning it was highly improbable that McLane caused or contributed to any E. coli contamination."

So the green onions may have been contaminated before McLane (or Taco Bell) even got them. So, let's ask Annys Shin at the Washington Post where the green onions were grown:

The strain that caused September's spinach outbreak, which killed three and sickened about 200, has been found in cattle feces near a California spinach field and in wild pigs that roamed through it.

The source of the Taco Bell outbreak has not been found, but the company suspects green onions -- also from California.

While John and Ken will probably blame the problem on illegal immigration, there are those that say that the government, or the industry, or whoever should do something about it. This issue forms the...um...meat of Shin's article.

The patchwork of federal and state regulations that is supposed to ensure food safety has become less effective as the nation's produce supply has grown increasingly industrial. Three months after the spinach scare, there is no agreement on what should be done to reduce health risks from the nation's fruits and vegetables even as each episode of illness has heightened a sense of urgency....

Although meat and dairy products are regulated by the Department of Agriculture, the safety of fruits and vegetables is the responsibility of the Food and Drug Administration and the states. But they have jurisdiction only over processing plants. Food safety at the farm level is largely self-regulated.

That has left government regulators in the position over the past eight years of nagging the produce industry to improve food safety by publishing voluntary guidelines and sending letters of admonishment.

The FDA's critics say the agency doesn't have the manpower to do more. From 2003 to 2006, the budget for the agency's Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition has fallen 37 percent, according to agency data. That has meant fewer inspectors and less frequent inspections. In 2005, the FDA conducted 4,573 inspections of domestic food-processing operations. For 2006, the agency said, it hopes to conduct 3,400. There are more than 12,000 such plants in the nation.

"The reality of FDA's situation is they don't have the basic inspectors to inspect the food supply they're in charge of," said Caroline Smith DeWaal, food safety director for the Center for Science in the Public Interest. "They just don't have the people . . . to manage this problem at the farm level."

In mid-November, the CSPI petitioned the FDA, as well as the state of California, to set mandatory safety standards for fruits and vegetables. Consumer advocates also want Congress to give the agency more resources and enforcement powers.

Think about this for a moment from an anti-vegetarian perspective. It turns out that so-called healthy vegetarian fare is less regulated than evil meat and dairy output. (Listen to the baby seal clubbers chortle.)

Speaking of baby seal clubbers, the non-neo-conservatives who believe that private industry can solve all problems will be happy to know that private industry is trying to get its act together:

In October, executives of eight supermarket chains and distributors, including Safeway, Sysco, Wegmans and Kroger, sent a letter to growers and packers, demanding that they develop a food safety program for lettuce and other leafy greens by Dec. 15. The program has been drafted but is still being reviewed by regulators.

Not content to let the growers write their own standards, the Food Marketing Institute, which represents large retailers and wholesalers, and the National Restaurant Association are developing separate guidelines to update those used by private auditors.

And the neo-conservatives will be happy to know that other segments of private industry want government to solve the problem:

The growers, led by two trade groups, Western Growers and the United Fresh Produce Association, have responded with standards that government regulators would enforce through a marketing order -- an agreement farmers pay to participate in designed to stabilize market conditions for certain commodities. Such orders are enforced by the Department of Agriculture's Agricultural Marketing Service, not the FDA, and food safety is not typically their main purpose.

The California Department of Food and Agriculture is considering the growers' proposal and could put an order in place as early as late January, spokesman Steve Lyle said.

The federal Agricultural Marketing Service hasn't responded yet, a Western Growers spokesman said.

Officials at the FDA who are reviewing the proposal have so far welcomed the market-order approach as part of the solution. "If you look at what might be able to happen before next growing season . . . a rule is not a practical proposition," Acheson said.

It's enough to make you sick.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Did Mr. Spock Recite Country?

2006-12-08T12:21:00.000-08:00

Followup on pain.

I Dished (not Tivo'ed) a good Reno's Bluegrass Festival this week. Let's start with a song popularized by the A*Teens - wait, I think someone did it before them.

For the record, "The Letter was originally done by the Box Tops, with a famous cover by Joe Cocker.

Well, the less famous cover version was performed at the beginning of Reno's Bluegrass Festival, as Ronnie Reno and his band took an acoustic take on it. The lyrics work well in a bluegrass format, and musically the genre allows some nice solos.

The special guests on this week's Reno's Bluesgrass Festival were referred to as "Cordele and Duncan" in the program listing. Shame on you, Ronnie. Larry's last name is Cordle, not Cordele. Yet Ronnie was very appreciative of the vocal and songwriting talents of Larry Cordle, and the instrumental talents of Glen Duncan.

They, along with their band, performed two songs off of their 1992 album "Lonesome Standard Time" - the title track (which, in an Icehouse kind of way, also became the name of the band), and the absolutely haunting track "The Fields of Home" (audio sample here). The song was also included on the 1989 Ricky Skaggs album Kentucky Thunder.

In my research, I found out an interesting thing about Larry Cordle. While everyone loved him back in 1992-1993, he later angered some segments of Nashville:

Cordle later made news with a song that some listeners thought might be biting the hand that fed the songwriter. "Murder on Music Row," a song Cordle co-wrote with Larry Shell, makes no bones about criticizing Nashville for drifting away from the roots of country music. Plenty of people in the industry were aghast and angry over the song's condemnation of the town and of the turn country music had taken in recent years. Probably just as many cheered it. The song wasn't released to radio as a single, at least not officially, and there wasn't even any real promotion to speak of. But the duet by George Strait and Alan Jackson raised the song's profile. It hit a nerve and it hit deep. The song made it onto the airwaves, landed in the Top 40, and made a lot of people sit up and take notice of the things Cordle had to say about the state of country music. The ripples that spread from the song's impact even led the very industry that the song condemns to acknowledge and honor its honesty. The Country Music Association bestowed a pair of nominations in 2000, one for Vocal Event of the Year and another for Song of the Year.

But there was a lot of pain in the process. From acousticmusic.com:

It has come to my attention (way over in Germany) that the title song covered by George Strait and Alan Jackson is raising quite a stir in the world of countrypoprock and is being boycotted by commercial country radio. I guess the lyrics bemoaning the pop influence on today´s country music hit too close to the truth.

From songfacts:

Having been a professional musician for over 35 years, I must say that this song is spot on. There are a handful of people who, by whatever means possible, attempt, usually successfully, to control what songs make the charts and what songs don't. In Nashville, it's not about ability but about marketability. They can take horrible singers and make them sound good in a studio and then promote them exclusively. The record companies are losing thei power a little at a time die to online music. It's about time the real talent got a chance to shine.

- Randall, Chattanooga, TN
The songwriter had it nailed on the head no doubt. The song points out the downward spiral of today's music. Sex is the big seller now. And I applaud Strait and Jackson for speaking out like they did. Country music has certainly taken a dive with bands like Big and Rich (who haven't done a decent song yet) and wannabe's like Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow.

- Terry L. Kiser, Sr, Tifton, ID

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Generic Aurothots, and an Obbzervashun

2006-12-08T07:53:00.000-08:00

Superior acoustic traditional music incorporates and administers intense, searing pain. (More later.)

Why is black iced tea caramel in color?

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Damon Wayans is Now the Leper and Scum of the Earth?

2006-12-07T07:32:00.000-08:00

Let's see if I need to create a del.icio.us tag for hypocrisy. (I could apply it to that KFI post I wrote about a year ago, I guess.)

Before I launch into this, let me state my views.

In my view, the U.S. government does not have the right to ban the use of the word "nigger" (although there are exceptions, not always enforced, for media outlets controlled by the FCC).

In my view, private organizations (such as the Laugh Factory) have the perfect right to ban the use of that word, or any other word such as "dessert" or "Madonna."

In my view, private individuals have the right to ridicule private organizations who impose such a ban.

And, of course, private individuals may oppose the whole thing on moral grounds:

When I first read the news reports about the incident, I assumed Richards had a bad slip of the tongue. A horrible slip, but nothing more. Then I watched the actual video on You Tube, and was revolted. I was stunned speechless. I've never seen anything so vile. I also saw his "apology" on Letterman, and it made me wonder what kind of crack the guy is on. It was no apology at all. And for the first time in my life, I actually agree with what Rev. Al said. Richards' career is over, and rightfully so.

However, this cracker respectfully disagrees with Jennifer on this particular topic. While I agree that the word "nigger" can be used in a damaging way, I also believe that it can be used in a non-damaging way.

With that, let's move to Damon Wayans, who took to the stage at the Laugh Factory and said the following:

Club owner Jamie Masada had imposed fines and a ban for any performers who used the word 'nigger' in the wake of Richards' tirade. But Wayans fell foul of it the moment he took to the stage and said: 'Give yourselves a big round of applause for coming down and supporting Nigger Night.'

'I'll be damned if the white man uses that word last,' he told the audience. 'This is part of our culture now... don't take that from us.' According to the LA Times, the actor used the word another 15 times during his 20-minute set, costing him a $320 fine.

In addition, Wayans has been banned from the Laugh Factory for three months.

Well, I don't know if Gloria Allred will represent the victims of Wayans, but there is some real outrage regarding Wayans' comments. From The Think and Racialicious:

Sorry Mr. Wayans, but for you to stand up and say that “this is part of our culture now”, I hope you never see the light of day with a trademark for the word “Nigga” in your hands. At this point, I understand why white people chastise blacks for being so damned hypocritical when it comes to this issue. Yes, it is hypocrisy.

This cracker isn't chastizing Wayans for hypocrisy. While there is legitimate debate over whether Wayans (and Richards) were funny, Wayans (and possibly Richards) were pursuing a long-standing form of comedy. Brian Christgau knows about the tradition:

Author: Brian Christgau
Date: Dec 6, 2006 09:24

This damn saga just keeps getting funnier and funnier! Where's Lenny
Bruce when we need him? Oh, that's right - he got driven to his own suicide
by being persecuted for saying dirty words, silly me.

And I return to what Paul Rodriguez said:

“Once the word comes out of your mouth and you don't happen to be African-American, then you have a whole lot of explaining,” Rodriguez told CNN. “Freedom of speech has its limitations and I think Michael Richards found those limitations.”

Well, unlike the racist Paul Rodriguez, it's apparent that the Laugh Factory believes that the limitations to freedom of speech apply to all, regardless of race, color, national origin, religious preference, sexual orientation, weight, eye color, and sports team preference. In that regard, the Laugh Factory was consistent in banning Damon Wayans from its premises for three months - a consistency that I have not, so far, seen from Gloria Allred, Jesse Jackson, and the like.

But I can still make fun of the Laugh Factory for making such a ridiculous rule. And Damon Wayans is probably laughing at the whole "sanitized comedy" movement also.

P.S. Direct from Malawi (credit Jenice Armstrong):

It's a word that people pay attention to. Maybe that's why comedian Damon Wayans, star of "My Wife and Kids," tried to patent it so he could affix the racial epithet onto a line of clothing. He knew it would sell.

It probably would in some parts of Africa, too. I'll never forget hearing how Philly's David Hale Sylvester, a personal trainer, was bicycling across the continent when he came across a store named "Niggas." It was a rickety stand with the letters printed on a sign.

When Sylvester asked one of the proprietors, "Whassup with the name, dude?" he was told, "P. Diddy. New York City! We are the niggers!" Sylvester tried to laugh it off, but there really was nothing funny about how hip-hop music had infected those misguided Malawi residents.

Incidentally, when will be ban people of all races from using the words "whassup" and "dude"?

Actually, that's easy to implement. It's called the "old uncool" strategy. Inasmuch as I'll celebrate my 45th birthday this month, I am qualified to speak on this strategy. Therefore, I will admit that I use the words "whassup" and "dude" with some frequency. This admission itself will cause millions of people under the age of twenty to drop the words like a bad case of acne.

My next project - the next time someone drives by with a radio set at 11 blasting rap, rock, or ranchera, I'll start my geeky dance. That'll shut'em up.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

This is a test

2006-12-06T13:47:00.000-08:00

This is a test of remote blog posting, which could theoretically let me blog from anywhere that my Motorola Q gets a signal. So, if I'm in the middle of the desert and see an alien spaceship, I can broadcast this news immediately.

Hungry?

2006-12-06T12:08:00.000-08:00

Hot off the press - Taco Bell removes green onions from its restaurants:

A number of restaurant chains, including Taco Bell, are now joining Chi-Chi's in removing green onions from menu items as a precaution.

Health officials in Pennsylvania said the number of Hepatitis A infections is likely to continue rising through this week, peaking about November 22, 2003. While the Chi-Chi's restaurant has been closed since November 2, the virus can take nearly a month to exhibit its early flu-like symptoms.

OK, so maybe it isn't so hot off the press. Here's the 2006 version:

Taco Bell ordered the removal of green onions from its 5,800 restaurants nationwide Wednesday after tests suggested they might be responsible for the E. coli outbreak that sickened at least three dozen people in three states.

But read on:

Meanwhile, the company that distributes food to the region's Taco Bells said federal investigators planned to test five produce items _ green onions, regular onions, cilantro, tomatoes and lettuce _ from its southern New Jersey warehouse....

On Tuesday, Taco Bell representatives and state and federal health inspectors visited a food distribution center in Burlington, N.J., that supplied the Long Island and New Jersey restaurants patronized by people who were sickened.

Texas-based McLane Co., which owns the distribution center, selected the produce items for federal investigators to test Wednesday, said Bart McKay, a lawyer for the company.

McKay said the federal investigators were to pick up samples of green onions, regular onions, cilantro, tomatoes and lettuce. No meat samples were requested, he said.

"By all appearances, the focus seems to be on one or more produce supplies," McKay said.

And Bart McKay has also appeared in Forbes (emphasis mine):

On Tuesday, Taco Bell representatives and state and federal health officials toured a 192,000-square-foot Burlington, N.J., food distribution center that supplied the Long Island and New Jersey restaurants associated with the outbreak. The center, run by Texas-based McLane Co., distributes food to over 1,100 restaurants, including Taco Bell and other fast-food retailers.

Bart McKay, associate general counsel for McLane, told the Times that the company had joined the investigation into the source of the E. coli outbreak at the request of Taco Bell's parent company, Yum! Brands. "We're beginning with Burlington," he said....

Medical officials in New Jersey and New York were teaming with the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to try to pinpoint the cause of the outbreak.

Dr. Patricia Dillon, director of epidemiology and communicable diseases for Suffolk County, Long Island, said health authorities are focusing now on the central food distributor rather than improper handling as the probable source of the outbreak.

"You could not have improper handling occur at so many restaurants," she told the Times.

This raises the question - what about the other 1,000+ restaurants that received food from McLane's Burlington facility? Well, if you go to McLane's press releases page, you can see their latest public statement on the issue:

So, now that Taco Bell has stepped up to the plate and McLane hasn't, what reward has Taco Bell received?

In New York, Irene Abbad stopped at a Taco Bell on Long Island on Tuesday, but she was afraid to eat the food and ordered only a soft drink.

After hearing about the outbreak, she called her son, who she said is a frequent Taco Bell customer. "I said, `Don't eat Taco Bell for a while.'"

Courier News Online had a little more detail about the logic of Irene Abbad:

Krishna Badhi of West Windsor said he was unaware of the E. coli outbreak when he drove up for a late lunch with a co-worker Tuesday afternoon.

"We had no idea about it," he said, adding that he also tried to get lunch at the same location on Monday with no luck.

"I thought it might be some sort of holiday," he said.

In New York, Irene and Dell Abbad of Islip Terrace both went to the Taco Bell in Patchogue on Tuesday but ordered only soft drinks.

"I just got a drink, that's it," Dell Abbad said.

Asked if she was afraid to eat at Taco Bell, Irene Abbad said, "Of course of I am."

"In fact I called my son because my son loves Taco Bell, and I said don't eat Taco Bell for a while."

Now some of you may be wondering whether the Abbads are going to use common sense and refuse to eat at any food facility supplied by McLane. In my case, I'm wondering about a different question: Who ordered the soft drink? Was it Irene Abbad, Dell Abbad, or both of them? We need to get Harvey Levin on the case.

Luckily, we don't have to rely on Harvey Levin. We have Jim Prevor:

Yesterday we mentioned an E. coli outbreak at Taco Bell. Today there was more news.

Some of it was bad news for the produce industry as word leaked out that investigators were focusing on non-meat items as possible culprits in the Taco Bell/E. coli outbreak in New York and New Jersey. The focus was on non-meat products because several of those who have fallen ill report that they are vegetarians.

After talking about McLane, Prevor continues:

Bill Marler of Marler Clark, a law firm specializing in cases involving foodborne illness and who is representing many of the plaintiffs in litigation related to the spinach/E. coli crisis, fingers salsa as a likely cause. He notes that salsa contains cilantro, green onions and tomatoes, all of which have been implicated in previous situations where E. coli was a factor.

Of course others claim salsa can fight foodborne illness.

However, I disagree with the following statement:

Taco Bell seems to be taking a very unusual PR path on this crisis. They haven’t offered to pay any medical bills. They didn’t close down the restaurants until two days after they learned of the first case. You have to search around and click on press releases on the Taco Bell web site to find any reference to the outbreak, and the web site of the parent company, Yum! Brands, has no mention of the problem at all.

We suppose they must have very clever consultants who told them this is really a smart way to handle things.

The Pundit thinks that every time someone in the food business behaves this way, it is bad for everyone as it builds up consumer doubt about how important the consumer is to the industry.

Compared to McLane, Taco Bell is an open book. And look how Irene and/or Dell Abbad have reacted to the open book policy. Makes you think that a Nixonian stonewalling strategy may be in your best interest.

[UPDATE 11 DECEMBER 2006 - MCLANE HAS SPOKEN. SEE FOLLOWUP.]

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

When Commutes Get Fun (Fight the Power)

2006-12-06T08:54:00.000-08:00

Although I spend 2+ hours commuting from Ontario to Orange County every day, I actually like it. I can relax (to a point), listen to the radio or to a CD, yell my fool head off, or whatever.

One of my usual commute routes takes me through Carbon Canyon. I've found that State Route 57 is often jammed, and State Route 91 is often jammed, so I frequently cut through the middle and take Carbon Canyon to work. It's only a two lane road, and frankly it's often crowded itself, but at least the drive is fairly scenic.

So this morning I'm driving through Chino Hills, getting ready to cut through Carbon Canyon, when I ran across huge signs saying that SR-142 is closed. Unfortunately, by the time you reach the signs, you've pretty much committed yourself to the Carbon Canyon route, and you have one of three choices to recover:

Turn around and head back to southbound State Route 71 and take it to State Route 91.

Keep on going and hop on State Route 60 and take it to State Route 57.

Go a little bit, then head westbound on Grand Avenue into Diamond Bar, then proceed from there via the 57 or via surface streets.

I chose the third option, as did several hundred of my closest friends.

It took me almost an hour to get to the southern tip of Diamond Bar. Not a good commute day.

So, after all of that, I figured I'd go to the Vons at Placentia and Bastanchury and grab a bagel. This late in the morning, they may even be fresh.

Well, they weren't fresh at all - this particular Vons closed nearly three months ago. While driving through the empty lot, I thought of all the picketers who hung out at that Vons during the 2003 strike; wonder how they feel now?

When I finally got to work, I was curious regarding why my morning commute had been altered. So I checked:

SR 142
[ORANGE CO.]
IS CLOSED AT THE ORANGE/RIVERSIDE CO LINE - DUE TO DOWNED POWER LINES -
A DETOUR IS AVAILABLE

[SAN BERNARDINO & RIVERSIDE CO.'S]
NO TRAFFIC RESTRICTIONS ARE REPORTED FOR THIS AREA.

Well, I'm glad I didn't go that way...

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

What the Ontario Mountain Village Association May Do If Their Beloved Graffiti-Ridden Empty Lot Becomes a Wal Mart

2006-12-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

Courtesy Coqueto and the Garrison dude:

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that Mr. Fenton go with her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent o her from the store.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse wasshopping in Walmart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares ... and watched what happened.

5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ....

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, thenyelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

But

2006-12-04T23:23:00.000-08:00

So I watch Pop Up Video and end up getting all excited about "Torture". The only songs I've heard off the Victory album are "Torture" and "State of Shock." The consensus is that most of the album blows, and I can attest that "State of Shock" is pretty worthless, but "Torture" bowls me over every time I hear it. Reviews vary:

Victory was merely solo tracks by various brothers with Michael & Jermaine as reluctant participants.Though the other brothers lack distictive vocal chops,they perform admirably.Jackie wrote Torture for Michael & Jermaine to sing,while Randy contributed One More Chance(later covered by Janet for a B-side),and Marlon,known as the vocally weak Jackson,shines on Body,though repetitive,recall those glory days.The weakest cuts surprisingly all came from Michael.Be Not Always is his worst piece of writing(with Little Susie from HiStory),and State of Shock sounds like Michael and Mick Jagger having fun on a 4-track,then tossing it on the album to get his family off his back.In the end it sold but left many feeeling short-changed.
But there's some really good stuff, here, and most of it doesn't even involve Michael. Randy stands out pretty well in "One More Chance" (which Janet would later cover as a b-side); "Body" is a funky uptempo stomper, and I really loved "Torture," which features lead vocals from Michael and Jermaine (The video features all Jackson brothers sans Michael. Go figure).
Though everybody seem to dislike this album i think it's great! Torture is a strong and sharp song with a sort of "rock-feelin" over it. Another really good song is State of shock with Michael and Mick Jagger. Also a "rock-feelin" over this one.
This isn't a reunion album at all. More like a high tech compilation disaster and Jermaine is only included in 1 track and Michael, only in 3. Although no video availbale, I love the Mick Jagger colab "State of Shock" (#3 on billboard and #4 on Hot R&B/Hip Hop Singles) which was a celebrated pop/rock celebration and leading single off of lp. "Torture" was torture and so was the video. Although top 20 hit, it was so horrible that Jermaine and Michael did not join their brothers in the video (although they provided lead vocals) and the later was replaced by a wax dummy.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Because

2006-12-01T17:06:00.000-08:00

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Maps of War

2006-11-30T12:45:00.000-08:00

This is a sample of the information available at Maps of War (although personally, I classify the Vietnam War as a bipartisan effort, not a Democratic-only effort).

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

I'd like to buy a room for $250, Pat

2006-11-30T12:24:00.000-08:00

The latest from David Allen:

Naming the Ontario Library children's room after writer Beverly Cleary, the most famous person to ever live in Ontario, was an idea floated in this space earlier this year.
Cleary worked at the library for a year in the 1930s and decided to become a writer based on success at Chaffey Junior College, in the days when it shared an Ontario campus with Chaffey High. So why not honor her?

Two residents with a connection to Cleary proposed the renaming to the Library Board, which posted a notice so anyone with an objection could object. When no one did, the change was recommended to the City Council.

On Tuesday, the matter was placed on the council's consent calendar, reserved for items believed to be a slam-dunk.

Well, the idea of a Beverly Cleary Children's Room certainly did get a unanimous vote.

In opposition.

"While I certainly agree with all the great things that were said about Miss Cleary," Councilman Alan Wapner began, he felt that "before we start naming rooms, that we have a policy on naming rooms."

He asked city officials to research options for how to name facilities, "including the options for" - uh-oh - "maybe having naming rights purchased by companies or individuals."...

By the way, it's been two years to the month that the council deservedly named the library's history room after former mayor Bob Ellingwood - with no policy discussed before or since....

I approached Wapner for conversation.

"I'm not a Cleary basher!" Wapner announced with a smile. "I read her books. I'm just all about policy."

He added: "The only reason this came up is because you wrote about it in your column."

He says that like it's a bad thing.

I asked for his thoughts on naming the children's room for Cleary.

"To be honest, I don't think she made enough of a contribution to the city of Ontario compared to other people," Wapner said.

"My understanding is she lived in the city a short time and worked at the library," he said. "That in itself doesn't merit having a room named for her."...

Maybe next year Ontario can take a fresh look at honoring Cleary. April 12 will be the Carmel resident's 91st birthday, which could be a nice tie-in.

But based on Tuesday's mention of naming rights, I do have one worry.

What if the City Council agrees to a Beverly Cleary Children's Room - but asks her to pay for the privilege?

We have to face the fact that, even though Paul Vincent Avila is not on the City Countil, said Council is not always blessed with brains. So they may go the naming route.

Look forward to the Coca Cola Room, or the Nike Room, or the Terminator IV Room, in your local library some time soon.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

A new definition of "speed bump"

2006-11-30T11:44:00.000-08:00

No, I didn't vote for Paul Vincent Availa. Whoops, excuse me - the fighting Red Lion:

A spate of bizarre e-mail messages from one failed City Council candidate to another has led to ruffled feathers in the aftermath of this city's recent elections.
The messages from Paul Vincent Avila, who is a member of the Ontario-Montclair School District's board of education, went to Gabe Chavez, a former planning commissioner who finished third out of seven council candidates in the Nov. 7 election.

In an e-mail sent to Chavez on Nov. 12, Avila basked in winning roughly 3,500 votes for council after spending only a few thousand dollars on his campaign, and noted Chavez's total was around 6,000, despite spending nearly $100,000 on his campaign.

"If you are considering running again with larger amount of monies to spend, tell your developers/benefactors that I will be there again to make sure your kind defective character does not represent this precious city," Avila wrote. In the same message, he also referred to Chavez as "specially challenged" and a "snake."...

The messages Avila sent to Chavez are in keeping with a series of e-mails he wrote in the weeks leading up to the election, many of which were also sent to Daily Bulletin reporters.

His messages are typically riddled with grammatical errors, grandiose statements and mystifying allusions, and are signed by "the fighting Red Lion."...

San Bernardino County Supervisor Gary Ovitt said he was "appalled" by Avila's e-mails because Avila is a school board member responsible for overseeing the education of thousands of students.

"I feel it's important that the public know who is representing them as their school board member," Ovitt said. "I feel it's a travesty. We expect better from our elected officials."

Great. We have our own Steve Rocco. Not a good time for OMSD to have a board member who is missing marbles. Someone needs to tell the fighting Red Lion that enrollment is declining:

Concerns about declining enrollment have prompted one school board member to urge parents to attend a public forum tonight.
Ontario-Montclair School District has seen its enrollment dip by more than 2,000 students in the past three years, dropping below 25,000 for the current school year.

District administrators aren't sure of all the reasons for the drop, but some may be related to skyrocketing home prices in the area that have driven families to move elsewhere, Superintendent Sharon McGehee said.

Board member Debra Dorst-Porada said she believes there may be other reasons why students are leaving the district which will come out at the forum, a part of the district's strategic plan update process.

"Maybe people are putting their kids in private schools," she said. "If they are, I'd like to know, why are they? And what can we do as a school district to get them back?"

Oh, I don't know. Perhaps the cities in the OMSD area should make sure that residents have places to shop, and don't end up with car damage because of the speed bumps all over the place.

IMHO.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Pry These YouTube Videos From My Cold Dead Fingers

2006-11-28T13:02:00.000-08:00

If you're sitting at a computer in an office at the Laugh Factory (or in Gloria Allred's offices), do NOT click on the two links below.

This one features Chevy Chase and Richard Pryor, and was written by Paul Mooney.

This one features John Lennon and Yoko Ono.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

When Marketing and Legal Types Don't Mix

2006-11-27T12:15:00.000-08:00

For the recent Children's Theatre Experience production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat," I had to buy some black hi-top Converse sneakers. (And I did...but that's another story.) There was a tag attached to the Converse sneakers that included a whole bunch of mixed case writing, plus a little bit of writing in all caps.

First, the mixed case text:

An American original. Converse created the first basketball shoe - the grandfather of all athletic shoes to follow. In 1923, Chuck Taylor, an all-star professional, worked with Converse to improve their shoe and the game. For the rest of his life, Chuck served as the Ambassador of Basketball for Converse, traveling across America inspriring youth, coaching clinics, and spreading his love for the game.

So after that pleasant talk about the American shoe, developed for the American game, and perfected by the American player, we run into the upper case text:

TAG PRINTED IN CHINA

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Michael Richards and the Racism of Paul Rodriguez

2006-11-23T09:41:00.000-08:00

OK, now I know what happened. But this incident is telling (emphasis mine):

Comedian Paul Rodriguez, who was at the Laugh Factory on Friday during Richards' performance, said he was shocked.

“Once the word comes out of your mouth and you don't happen to be African-American, then you have a whole lot of explaining,” Rodriguez told CNN. “Freedom of speech has its limitations and I think Michael Richards found those limitations.”

If those are the rules, then this honky cracker will verbally denigrate anyone who isn't a honky cracker who refers to honky crackers.

But I digress. If you were living under a rock like me, here's what happened:

Michael Richards said Monday he spewed racial epithets during a stand-up comedy routine because he lost his cool while being heckled and not because he's a bigot.

“For me to be at a comedy club and flip out and say this crap, I'm deeply, deeply sorry,” the former Seinfeld co-star said during a satellite appearance for David Letterman's Late Show in New York.

“I'm not a racist. That's what's so insane about this,” Richards said, his tone becoming angry and frustrated as he defended himself....

Richards described himself as going into “a rage” over the two audience members who interrupted his act Friday at the Laugh Factory in West Hollywood. Richards responded to the black hecklers with repeated use of the “n word” and profanities.

His Laugh Factory tirade began after the two club-goers shouted at him that he wasn't funny. A videotape of the incident was posted on TMZ.com.

Richards retorted: “Shut up! Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a [expletive] fork up your ass.”

He then paced across the stage taunting the men for interrupting his show, peppering his speech with racial slurs and profanities.

“You can talk, you can talk, you're brave now [expletive]. Throw his ass out. He's a nigger!” Richards shouted before repeating the racial epithet over and over again.

Moderating his tone at one point, Richards tells the audience, “It shocks you, it shocks you” and refers to “what lays buried.”

While there is some chuckling in the audience throughout the outburst, someone can be heard gasping “Oh my God” and people respond with “ooh” after Richards uses the n-word.

Eventually someone calls out: “It's not funny. That's why you're a reject, never had no shows, never had no movies. Seinfeld, that's it.”

So Richards went on Letterman to address the issue.

At one point, however, Richards expressed second thoughts about appearing on the Late Show when his use of the term “Afro-American” proved funny to some audience members.

“I'm hearing your audience laugh, and I'm not even sure that this is where I should be addressing the situation.”

Well, Mikey you honky cracker, you couldn't address this on Ted Koppel because he's retired. And, by the way, someone other than Koppel has been "retired":

Comedian Paul Rodriguez appeared at a press conference at the LA comedy venue The Laugh Factory Monday to say that the actor who played Kramer on Seinfeld, Michael Richards, would no longer be welcome on their stage.

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

Late funnyman RICHARD PRYOR was sent off with a few laughs last night (11DEC05) when stars including CHRIS ROCK, DAMON WAYANS and EDDIE MURPHY joined a comedy tribute to the comedian.

The stars came out for the Chocolate Sundae show at Hollywood's Laugh Factory, where Pryor's manager paid tribute to the comedy legend, who died of a heart attack on Saturday (10DEC05).

The Laugh Factory's blogspot blog is silent on the Richards issue - it hasn't been updated in months. They've shifted to MySpace:

For 28 years the Laugh Factory has prided itself on being the only club that guaranteed laughter. On Friday night the club exercised that pledge and refunded money to its patrons for the first time. We are truly sorry for what happened. This is a comedy club and while we have always supported the comics¹ first amendment rights, we have done so with the understanding that they were exercising that right in an effort to be funny.

We do not support or condone the inappropriate, hurtful and offensive comments that Mr. Richards made on Friday night at the Laugh Factory.

Mr. Richards was scheduled to appear on Saturday night and had informed management of his intention to apologize for his hurtful and unprofessional outburst from the previous night. He failed to do so and disappointed us.

We have made it clear that Mr. Richards is no longer welcomed here. The Laugh Factory is a comedy club, not a forum for personal attacks.

Or is this just a case of political correctness gone haywire? There's a ton of speculation on that front. Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson's take on the discussion is interesting:

The Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson, founder of the Brotherhood Organization of A New Destiny, issued a statement Wednesday calling for an end to racial double standards.

"If the word 'nigger' is so offensive and shocking to blacks, then why do black people themselves continue to use this word?" asked Peterson. "The word is kept alive by black comedians and rappers, and is a part of the everyday language and fabric of the pseudo 'black culture.' Yet, whites are forbidden from uttering this word."...

[Richards'] apology was not enough for Pentecostal minister the Rev. Al Sharpton and other blacks, according to a news release. Peterson, however, explained the difficult circumstances that whites face when addressing blacks.

"A growing number of white Americans feel as though they are forced to wear a politically correct muzzle when it comes to discussing race issues," he said. "Whites are growing increasingly frustrated about being labeled 'racist' whenever they disagree with blacks."

"Black people cannot continue using this word, yet label others as 'racists' when they do the same in a fit of anger, as Michael Richards did," he added. "By not allowing whites to express themselves, it only drives the problem underground and forces people to keep these emotions bottled up-in essence, the politically correct culture is helping to create people like Michael Richards!"

And there's a bit of a Paul Rodriguez backlash:

You know what's worst than going onstage and shouting horrifying racial slurs? Trying to squeeze a little much-needed pub out of it. During his completely unnecessary press conference (not this one, but the second one) outside of The Laugh Factory in the wake of this weekend's Kramergate fiasco, outraged comedian in a Hawaiian Shirt Paul Rodriguez simply could not resist the opportunity to pepper a few "Rodriguezingers" into his empassioned...condemnation of racism in stand-up comedy. In a dazzling display of comedic economy, P-Rod packs in references to Jews, Mel Gibson and (never failing to be timely) racist mid-90's police office Mark Fuhrman (hey, OJ's back!) in a funny-flurry lasting just under 30 seconds, desperately trying to prove that he was the authority on racial stereotype humor long before the very first lazy "lazy beaner" hilarity-nugget trickled into the Mind of Mencia. This is, of course, the most press attention Paul Rodriguez has ever enjoyed....

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Traveling and Ignorance

2006-11-23T09:29:00.000-08:00

When you are traveling, you are often cut off from your usual news sources.

I believe that it was Monday around noon when I was driving through Las Vegas, listening to Dan Patrick on ESPN Radio 920. He was talking about his upcoming appearance on David Letterman, comparing Letterman to Carson, talking with his guests about Letterman, and so forth.

Then Tuesday morning I was listening to Colin Cowherd, who was remarking that unusual things happen on Letterman whenever Dan Patrick appears. The last time Patrick was on Letterman, Farrah Fawcett was acting strangely.

Still don't know what happened, other than the fact that Michael Richards was somehow involved.

For the moment, it's nice to be alone in my ignorance, but it's time that I educate myself.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

The Theatrical Event

2006-11-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

As I noted elsewhere, this is production week for the Children's Theatre Experience production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat," with a public performance in Claremont, California on Saturday, November 18.

As part of my role, I am required at one point to wear a wifebeater, some boxers, and a starry loincloth.

While holding a long pole.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Followup on Military Transformation

2006-11-15T12:26:00.000-08:00

Followup to this post, which discussed (among other things) General Eric Shinseki.

Well, it turns out that Shinseki, along with retired Admiral Vern Clark, will receive the Business Executives for National Security (BENS) Eisenhower Award. According to BENS' events calendar:

The Eisenhower Award is given to individuals who help safeguard American liberty. Past recipients include Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Gen. Abizaid.

And apparently a lot of people help safeguard American liberty. Admiral William J. Fallon received the award in San Francisco on October 17. And there are many other winners:

May 2005 honoring Fred Smith, founder, chairman and CEO of FedEx

November 2004 honoring Supreme Allied Commander Gen. Jim Jones, USMC

June 2004 honoring Gen. Tommy Franks

March 2004 honoring H. Ross Perot

November 2003 honoring Maurice Greenberg and General Richard Myers

May 2003 honoring Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld

November 2002 honoring Lawrence T. Babbio, Jr., Vice Chairman & President of Verizon Communications, Inc.

May 2002 honoring National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice

As to why military and industrial people would receive awards from a man famous for warning about the military-industrial complex, BENS prefers to remember another part of Eisenhower's farewell address:

The BENS Eisenhower Award is presented to outstanding individuals whose contributions to our nation's security reflect the spirit of President Eisenhower's farewell address and exemplify the “alert and knowledgeable citizenry” that President Eisenhower saw as essential so that “liberty and security can prosper together.”

Regarding both topics, this is what he said. This is what Dwight D. Eisenhower said (emphasis mine):

A vital element in keeping the peace is our military establishment. Our arms must be mighty, ready for instant action, so that no potential aggressor may be tempted to risk his own destruction....

Until the latest of our world conflicts, the United States had no armaments industry. American makers of plowshares could, with time and as required, make swords as well. But now we can no longer risk emergency improvisation of national defense; we have been compelled to create a permanent armaments industry of vast proportions. Added to this, three and a half million men and women are directly engaged in the defense establishment. We annually spend on military security more than the net income of all United States corporations.

This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence-economic, political, even spiritual-is felt in every city, every state house, every office of the Federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources and livelihood are all involved; so is the very structure of our society.

In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.

We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.

Akin to, and largely responsible for the sweeping changes in our industrial-military posture, has been the technological revolution during recent decades.

In this revolution, research has become central....

[T]he free university, historically the fountainhead of free ideas and scientific discovery, has experienced a revolution in the conduct of research. Partly because of the huge costs involved, a government contract becomes virtually a substitute for intellectual curiosity. For every old blackboard there are now hundreds of new electronic computers.

The prospect of domination of the nation's scholars by Federal employment, project allocations, and the power of money is ever present and is gravely to be regarded.

Yet, in holding scientific research and discovery in respect, as we should, we must also be alert to the equal and opposite danger that public policy could itself become the captive of a scientific-technological elite.

It is the task of statesmanship to mold, to balance, and to integrate these and other forces, new and old, within the principles of our democratic system-ever aiming toward the supreme goals of our free society.

Which leads us to a question - why did BENS honor both Rumsfeld and one of his generals? Did BENS honor Rumsfeld for bucking his generals, and the general for bucking Rumsfeld? Mold and balance, indeed.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

November 11

2006-11-09T12:06:00.000-08:00

In two days it will be November 11. The significance of this date extends nearly a century:

The Allied powers a signed a cease-fire agreement with Germany at Rethondes, France on November 11, 1918, bringing World War I to a close. Between the wars, November 11 was commemorated as Armistice Day in the United States, Great Britain, and France. After World War II, the holiday was recognized as a day of tribute to veterans of both world wars. Beginning in 1954, the United States designated November 11 as Veterans Day to honor veterans of all U.S. wars.

But it's not called Veterans Day in other countries:

Remembrance Day (Australia, Canada, Colombia, UK and Ireland), also known as Poppy Day (South Africa and Malta), and Armistice Day (UK, New Zealand and many other Commonwealth countries; and the original name of the holiday internationally) is a day to commemorate the sacrifice of veterans and civilians in World War I and other wars. It is observed on November 11 to recall the end of World War I on that date in 1918....

Common British, Canadian, South African and ANZAC traditions include two minutes of silence at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month because that was the time (in Britain and France) when the armistice became effective. The two minutes recall World War I and World War II. Before 1945 the silence was for one minute, and today some ceremonies still only have one minute of silence despite this.

Memorials outside London's Westminster Abbey for Remembrance Day, 2002In the United Kingdom, although two minutes' silence is observed on November 11 itself, the main observance is on the second Sunday of November, Remembrance Sunday. Ceremonies are held at local communities' War Memorials, usually organized by local branches of the Royal British Legion – an association for ex-servicemen. Typically, poppy wreaths are laid by local organisations including the Royal British Legion, ex-servicemen organisations, cadet forces, the Scouts, Guides, Boys' Brigade, St John Ambulance and the Salvation Army. "The Last Post" is played by a trumpeter or bugler, two minutes' silence is observed and broken by a trumpeter playing "Reveille". A minute's or two minutes' silence is also frequently incorporated into church services on that day. The main commemoration is held in Whitehall in central London, where the Queen, Prime Minister, and other senior political and military figures join with veterans to lay wreaths at the Cenotaph.

In Canada the day is a holiday for federal government employees. However, for private business, provincial governments, and schools, its status varies by province. In Western and Atlantic Canada it is a general holiday. In Ontario and Quebec, it is not a general holiday, although corporations that are federally registered may make the day a full holiday, or instead designate a provincially-recognized holiday on a different day. Schools usually hold assemblies for the first half of the day or on the school day prior with various presentations concerning the remembrance of the war dead. Thousands of people gather near the National War Memorial in Ottawa. Among the crowd, war veterans pay their respects to fallen sailors, soldiers, and airmen. The Act of Remembrance includes the playing of the Last Post, recitation of the Ode of Remembrance, which is a verse of the poem "For the Fallen" by Laurence Binyon, followed by Reveille.

In South Africa, the day is not a public holiday. Commemoration ceremonies are usually held on the following Sunday, at which, as with Australia and Britain, the "Last Post" is played by a bugler followed by the observation of a two-minute silence. The two biggest commemoration ceremonies to mark the event in South Africa are held in Johannesburg, at the Cenotaph (where it has been held for 84 consecutive years), and at the War Memorial at the Union Buildings in Pretoria.

In Australia Remembrance Day is always observed on November 11, although the day is not a public holiday. Services are held at 11am at war memorials in suburbs and towns across the country, at which the "Last Post" is played by a bugler and a one-minute silence is observed. In recent decades, however, Remembrance Day has been partly eclipsed by ANZAC Day (April 25) as the national day of war commemoration.

But for some people, the significance extends well before 1918:

For Anglican and Roman Catholic Christians, there is a coincidental but appropriate overlap of Remembrance Day with the feast of St. Martin of Tours, a saint famous for putting aside his life as a soldier and turning to the peace-filled life of a monk. Statues or images associated with St. Martin are for this reason sometimes used as symbols of Remembrance Day in religious contexts (e.g., the Anglican Cathedral of Montreal).

More on Martin of Tours, the French peacenik:

Joined the Roman imperial army at age 15, serving in a ceremonial unit that acted as the emperor's bodyguard, rarely exposed to combat. Cavalry officer, and assigned to garrison duty in Gaul.

Trying to live his faith, he refused to let his servant to wait on him. Once, while on horseback in Amiens in Gaul (modern France), he encountered a beggar. Having nothing to give but the clothes on his back, he cut his heavy officer's cloak in half, and gave it to the beggar. Later he had a vision of Christ wearing the cloak.

Baptised into the Church at age 18. Just before a battle, Martin announced that his faith prohibited him from fighting. Charged with cowardice, he was jailed, and his superiors planned to put him in the front of the battle. However, the invaders sued for peace, the battle never occurred, and Martin was released from military service at Worms....

On a visit to Lombardy to see his parents, he was robbed in the mountains - but managed to convert one of the thieves. At home he found that his mother had converted, but his father had not. The area was strongly Arian, and openly hostile to Catholics. Martin was badly abused by the heretics, at one point even by the order of the Arian bishop....

Preached and evangelized through the Gallic countryside. Many locals held strongly to the old beliefs, and tried to intimidate Martin by dressing as the old Roman gods, and appearing to him at night; Martin continued to win converts. He destroyed old temples, and built churches on the land....

Born
c.316 at Upper Pannonia (in modern Hungary)
Died

8 November 397 at Candes, Tours, France of natural causes; by his request, he was buried in the Cemetery of the Poor on 11 November 397; his relics rested in the basilica of Tours, a scene of pilgrimages and miracles, until 1562 when the catheral and relics were destroyed by militant Protestants; some small fragments on his tomb were found during construction excavation in 1860

Patronage
against impoverishment; against poverty; alcoholism; beggars; Beli Manastir, Croatia; Buenos Aires, Argentina; Burgenland; cavalry; Dieburg, Germany; Edingen, Germany; equestrians; Foiano della Chiana, Italy; France; geese; horse men; horses; hotel-keepers; innkeepers; Kortijk-Dutsel, Belgium; diocese of Mainz, Germany; Olpe, Germany; Pietrasanta, Italy; Pontifical Swiss Guards; quartermasters; reformed alcoholics; riders; diocese of Rottenburg-Stuttgart, Germany; soldiers; tailors; vintners; Virje, Croatia; wine growers; wine makers; Wissmannsdorf, Germany

But, most importantly...November 11 is my cousin's birthday!

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Donald Rumsfeld Resignation and the Doctrine(s) of Military Transformation

2006-11-08T12:39:00.000-08:00

And with everything else going on, this happened:

After years of defending his secretary of defense, President Bush on Wednesday announced Donald H. Rumfeld's resignation within hours of the Democrats' triumph in congressional elections....

The Iraq war was the central issue of Rumsfeld's nearly six-year tenure, and unhappiness with the war was a major element of voter dissatisfaction Tuesday — and the main impetus for his departure. Even some GOP lawmakers in Congress became critical of the war's management, and growing numbers of politicians were urging Bush to replace Rumsfeld....

With his often-combative defense of the war in Iraq, Rumsfeld had been the administration's face of the conflict. He became more of a target — and more politically vulnerable — as the war grew increasingly unpopular at home amid rising violence and with no end in sight....

Numerous Democrats in Congress had been calling for Rumsfeld's resignation for many months, asserting that his management of the war and of the military had been a resounding failure. Critics also accused Rumsfeld of not fully considering the advice of his generals and of refusing to consider alternative courses of action.

Let's look at the Rumsfeld disagreement with his generals. The following was written in March 2003:

This has been a terrible week at the Pentagon: the worst since the building itself was attacked more than 18 months ago. But as his limo drew up to fetch him last night, one of the most senior figures in the building might just have permitted himself the thin smile of a vindicated man.

His name in General Eric Shinseki. And at a time when generals - whether on active or pundit duty - are the hottest showbiz properties in the world, hardly anyone knows who he is....

[F]or the past two years [2001-2003] Gen Shinseki has been in total eclipse after what appears to have been the most spectacular bust-up with his civilian bosses, in particular Donald Rumsfeld, the defence secretary.

Hardly any of this the reached public domain until last month when Gen Shinseki told a congressional committee that he thought an occupying force in the hundreds of thousands would be required to police postwar Iraq. Mr Rumsfeld publicly repudiated him, saying he was "far off the mark".

In semi-private, the Pentagon's civilian leadership was far more scathing. A "senior administration official" told the Village Voice newspaper that Gen Shinseki's remark was "bullshit from a Clintonite enamoured of using the army for peacekeeping and not winning wars".

Then the general said it again. "It could be as high as several hundred thousand," he told another committee. "We all hope it is something less." Most of the media were too distracted by the build-up to war to notice. Serious analysts, however, were staggered by the insubordination.

This appears to have been round two of another, more immediately relevant, dispute about how many troops are needed to win this war. In this case, the military prevailed over the original civilian notion that fewer than 100,000 could do it. As even more soldiers rush to the Gulf to bring the number closer to 300,000, the original Rumsfeld plan looks in hindsight to be what the army said at the time: a recipe for possible catastrophe....

[Gen Shinseki] came into office in June 1999 with a clear vision for "transformation" and talked passionately about the army's need to adjust from thinking about traditional enemies to what he called "complicators", including both terrorists and the then little-known phrase "weapons of mass destruction". Gen Shinseki might thus have relished the arrival of a Republican team equally committed to change.

Unfortunately, the two sides had very different ideas about what the words meant. The general wanted a new kind of army, one that could combine the adaptability of light infantry and the power of heavily mechanised forces. His new bosses had other ideas. "They had pre-decided what transformation meant," said one Pentagon source. "It meant more from space, more from air and it didn't involve the army much. That was the essence of the conflict."

This erupted over the Crusader mobile artillery system, which Mr Rumsfeld has scrapped. Gen Shinseki told Congress a year ago it would have saved lives during Operation Anaconda in Afghanistan. By then he had already been turned into a lame duck ("castrated", according to the same Pentagon source) by the apparently unprecedented Rumsfeld decision to announce his successor 18 months in advance.

He seems to have been caught in a classic bind: distrusted by his subordinates for being too radical and by his bosses for being too conservative.

Rumsfeld's proposed transformation was discussed in Slate in February 2006:

Consider the Quadrennial Defense Review, a 90-page document that the Pentagon issued today. Rumsfeld has lived for this moment these last two years. Amid the scandal of Abu Ghraib and the disastrous lack of planning for the war in Iraq, he has resisted calls for his resignation in order to solidify what he sees as his "legacy"—the "transformation" of the U.S. military, which he hoped the QDR would embody and galvanize. And yet the document, in its finished form, is a muddle at best, an assortment of interesting ideas with no scheme for translating them into reality....

The document envisions a world where the U.S. military's main missions are homeland defense, the war on terrorism, and "irregular" or "asymmetric" warfare (i.e., wars against enemies that are not nation-states or that use weapons and strategies, such as roadside bombs, that make the most of their relative weaknesses). Much ink is spilled in discussing these new kinds of wars and the new kinds of soldier and command structures that they require. But look at what the Pentagon is really doing, how it's spending its vast sums of money (close to $500 billion next year, not including the cost of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan). With a few notable exceptions (most of them inexpensive), you'd think that we were still fighting the Soviet Union and that the Cold War were still raging on.

Rumsfeld intended to make lots of changes. Back in 2001, when he wrote his first (far more ambitious) QDR, he observed that military transformation required major changes in the budget; that new technologies couldn't be developed, built, or maintained unless many of the weapons geared to old-style warfare were dropped. In preparation for this new QDR, one of his chief aides—Andrew Marshall, the Pentagon's longtime director of net assessment, who coined the term "military transformation"—recommended cutting the budget for tactical fighter planes by one-third. The newsletter InsideDefense.com recently quoted one senior official as saying, "Some people went into the QDR thinking that 'tac air' was going to be the piggy bank to pay for a lot of things."

But it was not to be. The fiscal year 2007 military budget—which Rumsfeld will present next week—imposes no cuts on the Air Force and Navy's Joint Strike Fighter program (a total of 2,443 planes over the next several years). It slightly boosts the number of F-22 stealth fighter planes to be built by 2010 from 178 to 183. And even the QDR touts a plan to deploy an additional aircraft carrier and to resume building two nuclear-powered submarines each year. What these (and many other) big-ticket items have to do with the new kinds of threats, or new kinds of warfare, is unclear.

But one can't say that military transformation is solely a Rumsfeld creation. There are other hands in the pie, as this 2003 article (at the Democratic Leadership Council website) notes:

The swift three-week victory in Iraq was a vindication of a vision of military transformation that began with pioneers like former vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff William Owens, was picked up and championed by Sen. Joseph Lieberman (D-Conn.) and former Sen. Dan Coats (R-Ind.), and is now being taken up by Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. What we witnessed was a new kind of warfare based on lightning speed, precise targeting, total information dominance and the adaptability and flexibility to react quickly to changing realities on the ground.

This was written in 2003, when (as Slate notes in a 2004 article) a certain optimism about military transformation prevailed:

Given the quagmire that Iraq has become in the 18 months after the genuinely stunning battlefield victory, is Rumsfeld's brand of transformation—even if it were put in place—the sort of transformation that the U.S. armed forces really need?

"Military transformation"—remember the phrase? It was all the rage in the spring of '03. It's a theory of warfare that envisioned lighter, faster, more agile, yet also more lethal combat forces. And it seemed vindicated by the back-to-back toppling of the Taliban in Afghanistan and then of Saddam in Iraq....

At the start of the Bush presidency, Rumsfeld seemed clear on what had to be done. In his "quadrennial defense review" of 2001, he wrote that without such a transformation in management, mission priorities, and weapons procurement, "the current defense program will only become more expensive to maintain over time," and we will "forfeit many of the opportunities" that the new technologies have made possible.

Three years later, that's exactly what has happened. The military establishment has become more expensive to maintain—its budget has risen from $362 billion to $420 billion (not including the cost of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan)—but the extra money has purchased little in the way of "transformational" combat power....

[I]n the words of a report from the Center for Strategic and Budgetary Assessments—a Washington think tank directed by Andrew Krepinevich, a former Pentagon official who invented the phrase "military transformation"—Rumsfeld's programs "fairly closely resemble those of previous years and the plan … inherited from the Clinton administration."

Slate goes on to identify the reasons why the military never transformed itself:

Military operations are now run through joint commands—i.e., as interservice endeavors. (U.S. Central Command, or Centcomm, which ran the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, is one of these joint enterprises.) But military budgets are still devised, weapons are still purchased, and priorities are still set by the individual services—Army, Air Force, and Navy. (The Marines are part of the Navy, but they've been allowed increasing autonomy on these matters.) Overall military budgets have gone up and down, at varying rates, over the past 20 years—but none of the services has had its apple cart toppled.

For instance, look at the three services' allocations in the FY 2005 military budget that Congress just passed. The Army received $114 billion, the Navy $123 billion, and the Air Force $124 billion. (The total sum, $361 billion, does not include money for other Defense Department agencies or for the Department of Energy's nuclear weapons divisions.) This amounts to 32 percent for the Army, 34 percent for the Navy, 34 percent for the Air Force.

Now look at the Pentagon's archive for fiscal year 1994, the Clinton administration's first military budget. The relative shares are nearly identical: 30 percent for the Army, 36 percent for the Navy, 34 percent for the Air Force.

In fact, go back to fiscal year 1984. It's 29 percent for the Army, 35 percent for the Navy, 36 percent for the Air Force. Go back to nearly any year in the past quarter-century, and you'll see the same pattern. This is no coincidence. This reflects an informal accord among the service chiefs on how to divvy up the budget, and anyone who disturbs this arrangement can count on unleashing a storm of backbiting dissent and bureaucratic warfare.

In short, partly for reasons beyond the control of all but the most tenacious defense secretaries (and it looks as though Rumsfeld, for all his bluster, will not join those ranks), "military transformation" has not begun to gain a grip on the bowels of the Pentagon.

In short, Rumsfeld wasn't done in by the Democrats. Rumsfeld was done in by the bureaucrats. And the new Secretary of Defense, or President Obama's Secretary of Defense, is going to have the same problem.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

21st Century Schizoid Man

2006-11-08T12:11:00.000-08:00

This strikes me as contradictory:

From Paris to Pakistan, politicians, analysts and ordinary citizens said they hoped the Democratic takeover of the House of Representatives would force President Bush to adopt a more conciliatory approach to the globe's laundry list of crises, and teach a president many see as a "cowboy" a lesson in humility....

Bush is deeply unpopular in many countries around the globe, with particularly intense opposition to the U.S.-led war in Iraq, the U.S. terror detention center at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and allegations of Washington sanctioned interrogation methods that some equate with torture.

Many said they thought the big gains by Democrats signaled the beginning of the end of Bush's reign....

In Sri Lanka, some said they hoped the rebuke would force Bush to abandon a unilateral approach to global issues.

"The Americans have made it clear that current American policy should change in dealing with the world, from a confrontational approach, to a more consensus-based and bridge-building approach," said Jehan Perera, a political analyst. The Democratic win means "there will be more control and restraint" over U.S. foreign policy.

Yet

But while the result clearly produced more jubilation than jitters around the world, there also were some deep concerns.

Danish Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen told broadcaster TV2 he hoped that the president and the new Congress would find "common ground on questions about Iraq and Afghanistan."

"The world needs a vigorous U.S.A.," Fogh Rasmussen said.

Some also worried that Democrats, who have a reputation for being more protective of U.S. jobs going overseas, will make it harder to achieve a global free trade accord.

In other words, the message from the world seems to be, "We want the United States to be a leader - provided they do things our way."

Of course, this feeling is not universal. Some publicly state that they want the U.S. out of the picture:

Today is a particularly symbolic day. Cuba is a founding member of the Human Rights Council and the United States is not. Cuba was elected with the overwhelming support of 135 countries, more than two-thirds of the United Nations General Assembly, while the United States did not even dare to run as a candidate....

And if the disappearance of the United States as a superpower is to be followed by the emergence of a new superpower, the initial idea for one superpower candidate came from, of all people, Winston Churchill. Details:

Winston Churchill's call in 1945 for a "United States of Europe," a federation of European states to promote harmonious relations between nations, economic cooperation, and a sense of European identity, has caused him to be regarded as the father of European unity. While in opposition, Churchill argued forcefully at home and abroad that a united Europe was the best means to heal residual hatred from the Second World War. Yet Churchill's rhetoric is sometimes difficult to reconcile with his ambivalence regarding Britain's role in his proposed federation, particularly after he returned to power in October 1951....

Churchill coined the term "United States of Europe" in a Saturday Evening Post article in February 1930. He believed that "obsolete hatreds" could be appeased by the American federalist model, but that Britain would not belong. "We have our own dreams. We are with Europe but not of it. We are linked but not compromised."

The threat of Nazi Germany caused him to put the issue away until he proposed an Anglo-French Union as France was falling to the Germans in June 1940. In December of that year he spoke of a postwar Europe of five Great Powers (United Kingdom, France, Italy, Spain and Prussia) and four confederations operating in a Council of Europe to include a "supreme judiciary and a Supreme Economic Council to settle currency questions." Privately he was still determined to maintain close links with the United States and the British Commonwealth, and to maintain Britain as a world power in its own right....

In the postwar years, his advocacy of European unification served as a forum for reestablishing his status in his own party, in Britain, and on the international scene. Only months after the war ended he advocated a "United States of Europe" to unify the continent "in a manner unknown since the fall of the Roman Empire." The federation would be one of several regional units in the new United Nations. He did not believe the United Nations could prevent a future European war without a united Europe. He gave his most famous speech on this topic in Zurich on 19 September 1946. He now visualized the United States of Europe as one of four U.N. pillars, along with the British Empire and Commonwealth, a U.S.-led Western Hemisphere, and a Soviet sphere. The first step would be an alliance between France and Germany. He asked General de Gaulle to "take Germany by the hand and rally her to the West and European civilization", but the French President insisted on British participation at the beginning stage....

Whatever his intentions, Churchill's words inspired and energized continental sentiment for a solution to Europe's postwar weakness and lack of recovery. Providing legitimacy with his prestige, Churchill gave continental proponents of a united Europe political cover and helped them create forums to convert public sentiment into governmental policy.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

And on the state level...

2006-11-08T06:23:00.000-08:00

From the Secretary of State:

Governor
99.5% ( 24972 of 25090 ) precincts reporting as of Nov 8, 2006 at 6:03 am

Statewide Results County Returns | Other Contests
View Map
Candidate Votes Percent
Phil Angelides (Dem) 2,642,880 39.2 %
* Arnold Schwarzenegger (Rep) 3,773,277 56.0 %
Edward C. Noonan (AI) 48,241 0.7 %
Peter Camejo (Grn) 142,744 2.1 %
Art Olivier (Lib) 89,571 1.3 %
Janice Jordan (PF) 53,134 0.7 %
Lieutenant Governor
99.5% ( 24972 of 25090 ) precincts reporting as of Nov 8, 2006 at 6:03 am

Statewide Results County Returns | Other Contests
View Map
Candidate Votes Percent
John Garamendi (Dem) 3,280,228 49.4 %
Tom McClintock (Rep) 2,985,333 45.0 %
James D. King (AI) 54,417 0.8 %
Donna J. Warren (Grn) 180,964 2.7 %
Lynnette Marie Shaw (Lib) 110,243 1.6 %
Stewart A. Alexander (PF) 34,190 0.5 %
Attorney General
99.5% ( 24972 of 25090 ) precincts reporting as of Nov 8, 2006 at 6:03 am

Statewide Results County Returns | Other Contests
View Map
Candidate Votes Percent
Jerry Brown (Dem) 3,725,949 56.6 %
Chuck Poochigian (Rep) 2,499,813 38.0 %
Michael Sutton Wyman (Grn) 145,524 2.2 %
Kenneth A. Weissman (Lib) 138,856 2.1 %
Jack Harrison (PF) 77,651 1.1 %
U.S. Congress District 43
100.0% ( 287 of 287 ) precincts reporting as of Nov 8, 2006 at 6:13 am

District 43 Results County Returns | Other Contests
Previous District Select District Next District

Candidate Votes Percent
* Joe Baca (Dem) 43,571 65.1 %
Scott Folkens (Rep) 23,432 34.9 %
Board of Equalization District 2
100.0% ( 7113 of 7113 ) precincts reporting as of Nov 8, 2006 at 6:13 am

District 2 Results County Returns | Other Contests

Candidate Votes Percent
Tim Raboy (Dem) 610,617 38.1 %
* Bill Leonard (Rep) 888,677 55.5 %
Willard Del Michlin (Lib) 45,548 2.8 %
Richard R. Perry (PF) 59,094 3.6 %

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Selected San Bernardino County election results

2006-11-08T06:19:00.000-08:00

From the San Bernardino County Registrar of Voters:

GOVERNOR
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
REP - ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER 167358 61.31%
DEM - PHIL ANGELIDES 91595 33.56%
LIB - ART OLIVIER 4919 1.80%
GRN - PETER MIGUEL CAMEJO 3337 1.22%
P-F - JANICE JORDAN 2720 1.00%
AIP - EDWARD C. NOONAN 2570 0.94%
Write-In 459 0.17%

LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
REP - TOM MCCLINTOCK 141518 52.79%
DEM - JOHN GARAMENDI 110610 41.26%
GRN - DONNA J. WARREN 6197 2.31%
LIB - LYNNETTE SHAW 4855 1.81%
AIP - JIM KING 2967 1.11%
P-F - STEWART A. ALEXANDER 1697 0.63%
Write-In 217 0.08%

ATTORNEY GENERAL
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
DEM - JERRY BROWN 134255 50.31%
REP - CHUCK POOCHIGIAN 117613 44.07%
LIB - KENNETH A. WEISSMAN 6666 2.50%
GRN - MICHAEL S. WYMAN 4579 1.72%
P-F - JACK HARRISON 3564 1.34%
Write-In 193 0.07%

BOARD OF EQUALIZATION MEMBER - DISTRICT 2
Vote For 1 353 of 353 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
DEM - TIM RABOY 43967 48.96%
REP - BILL LEONARD 39935 44.47%
P-F - RICHARD R. PERRY 3571 3.98%
LIB - WILLARD DEL MICHLIN 2176 2.42%
Write-In 152 0.17%

STATE SENATOR DISTRICT 32
Vote For 1 318 of 318 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
DEM - GLORIA NEGRETE MCLEOD 57888 97.00%
Write-In 1792 3.00%

STATE ASSEMBLY DISTRICT 32
Vote For 1 1 of 1 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
REP - JEAN FULLER 221 61.73%
DEM - MARIBEL VEGA 137 38.27%
Write-In 0 0.00%

STATE ASSEMBLY DISTRICT 34
Vote For 1 44 of 44 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
REP - BILL MAZE 4585 57.07%
DEM - DESMOND FARRELLY 3023 37.63%
GRN - DAVID MINTON SILVA 416 5.18%
Write-In 10 0.12%

STATE ASSEMBLY DISTRICT 36
Vote For 1 94 of 94 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
REP - SHARON RUNNER 15289 64.80%
DEM - ROBERT ''BO'' BYNUM 8265 35.03%
Write-In 40 0.17%

STATE ASSEMBLY DISTRICT 59
Vote For 1 151 of 151 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
REP - ANTHONY ADAMS 25486 58.56%
DEM - ELLIOTT ROBERT BARKAN 14930 34.31%
LIB - JILL STONE 3048 7.00%
Write-In 56 0.13%

STATE ASSEMBLY DISTRICT 60
Vote For 1 38 of 38 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
REP - ROBERT ''BOB'' HUFF 8198 68.48%
DEM - VAN TAMOM 3752 31.34%
Write-In 22 0.18%

STATE ASSEMBLY DISTRICT 61
Vote For 1 111 of 111 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
DEM - NELL SOTO 18278 58.57%
REP - BENJAMIN LOPEZ 12838 41.14%
Write-In 89 0.29%

UNITED STATES REPRESENTATIVE - DISTRICT 43
Vote For 1 287 of 287 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
DEM - JOE BACA 43571 64.90%
REP - SCOTT FOLKENS 23432 34.90%
Write-In 130 0.19%

MAYOR - CITY OF ONTARIO
Vote For 1 59 of 59 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
PAUL S. LEON 11745 71.01%
PAUL A. TREADWAY 4766 28.81%
Write-In 30 0.18%

COUNCIL MEMBER - CITY OF ONTARIO
Vote For 2 59 of 59 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
ALAN WAPNER 5694 19.33%
JIM W. BOWMAN 5681 19.28%
GABE CHAVEZ 5123 17.39%
SAMUEL CROWE 4259 14.46%
JOSIE S. ESTRADA 3851 13.07%
PAUL VINCENT AVILA 3034 10.30%
TONY BALLARDO 1775 6.02%
Write-In 45 0.15%

MAYOR - CITY OF RANCHO CUCAMONGA
Vote For 1 74 of 74 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
DON KURTH 13053 49.11%
WILLIAM J. ALEXANDER 12271 46.17%
JOHN KERA 1208 4.55%
Write-In 46 0.17%

COUNCIL MEMBER - CITY OF RANCHO CUCAMONGA
Vote For 2 74 of 74 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
REX GUTIERREZ 14122 29.31%
DIANE WILLIAMS 12037 24.98%
DIETER CARLOS DAMMEIER 7583 15.74%
JOSEPH J. MCCAFFREY 3499 7.26%
JIM MOFFATT 3037 6.30%
NICOLE MYERCHIN 2685 5.57%
LUELLA G. HAIRSTON 2622 5.44%
JOHN R. LYONS 2552 5.30%
Write-In 51 0.11%

COUNCIL MEMBER - CITY OF RIALTO
Vote For 2 38 of 38 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
DEBORAH ROBERTSON 4719 27.51%
JOE BACA JR. 4504 26.26%
JOSEPH H. ''JOE'' SAMPSON 3802 22.17%
JOHN SANCHEZ 1990 11.60%
BIG MARK FERRETIZ 1194 6.96%
CLIFFORD FRIEDECK 920 5.36%
Write-In 22 0.13%

COUNCIL MEMBER - CITY OF SAN BERNARDINO WARD 3
Vote For 1 16 of 16 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
TOBIN BRINKER 1034 51.01%
GWEN TERRY 670 33.05%
RANDY LALLY 309 15.24%
Write-In 14 0.69%

COUNCIL MEMBER - CITY OF TWENTYNINE PALMS
Vote For 3 6 of 6 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
KEVIN COLE 980 18.06%
STEVE SPEAR 838 15.45%
JIM HARRIS 761 14.03%
STEVE FLOCK 756 13.94%
DAWN BENTON Jr. 723 13.33%
SHERRIE GIBSON 662 12.20%
MARK W. CLEMONS 472 8.70%
CHRISTOPHER J. CURTIN 223 4.11%
Write-In 10 0.18%

COUNCIL MEMBER - CITY OF UPLAND
Vote For 3 38 of 38 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
RAY MUSSER 8241 23.84%
BRENDAN BRANDT 7668 22.19%
TOM THOMAS 7551 21.85%
GARRY D. GARCIA 4043 11.70%
MARJORIE MUSSER MIKELS 3912 11.32%
JOHN DAVID PATINO, JR. 1869 5.41%
ARMAN KHODAEI 1223 3.54%
Write-In 54 0.16%

COUNCIL MEMBER - CITY OF YUCAIPA
Vote For 2 25 of 25 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
ALLAN DRUSYS 4615 33.87%
TOM MASNER 4602 33.78%
KEN SMITH 4361 32.01%
Write-In 46 0.34%

COUNCIL MEMBER - TOWN OF YUCCA VALLEY
Vote For 3 9 of 9 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
CHAD MAYES 1955 19.82%
BILL NEEB 1551 15.73%
LORI HERBEL 1400 14.20%
BILL SOUDER 1209 12.26%
ANN M. MISTAL 1160 11.76%
DAVID T. MUNRO 979 9.93%
ROBERT J. BUHRLE 822 8.34%
REGGIE G. MCATEE 421 4.27%
CHARLES MC HENRY 356 3.61%
Write-In 9 0.09%

DIRECTOR - RUBIDOUX COMMUNITY SERVICES DISTRICT
Vote For 2 1 of 1 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
F. FOREST TROWBRIDGE 3 60.00%
RUTH ANDERSON WILSON 1 20.00%
JOHN SKERBELIS 1 20.00%
Write-In 0 0.00%

DIRECTOR - CHINO VALLEY INDEPENDENT FIRE PROT DIST
Vote For 3 72 of 72 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
RAY M. MARQUEZ 8402 17.45%
JOHN DEMONACO 7487 15.55%
TINA MORENO REVANE 6637 13.78%
DAVID VOIGT 6604 13.71%
JAMES S. ESPINOSA 6561 13.62%
DENNIS STANGELAND 6415 13.32%
WINN WILLIAMS 4060 8.43%
JOSEPHINE BLINK 1940 4.03%
Write-In 55 0.11%

DIRECTOR - BIG BEAR MUNICIPAL WATER DISTRICT DIV 1
Vote For 1 7 of 7 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
TODD MURPHY 466 61.56%
JAN STOLL 289 38.18%
Write-In 2 0.26%

DIRECTOR - BIG BEAR MUNICIPAL WATER DISTRICT DIV 2
Vote For 1 3 of 3 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
PAULA FASHEMPOUR 476 64.59%
RALPH WALKER 259 35.14%
Write-In 2 0.27%

DIRECTOR - INLAND EMPIRE UTIL AGENCY DIV 2
Vote For 1 56 of 56 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
GENE KOOPMAN 4697 33.57%
PATRICK KING 4597 32.85%
RICHARD R. GALVEZ 3585 25.62%
JACK L. ALLINGHAM 1060 7.58%
Write-In 53 0.38%

DIRECTOR - INLAND EMPIRE UTIL AGENCY DIV 3
Vote For 1 68 of 68 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
JOHN L. ANDERSON 7906 48.05%
EDWARD RENDON 5330 32.40%
MARYANNE MARGARET AVILA 3180 19.33%
Write-In 36 0.22%

DIRECTOR - HESPERIA RECREATION AND PARK DISTRICT
Vote For 3 40 of 40 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
REBEKAH SWANSON 5402 22.24%
MICHAEL LIMBAUGH 5192 21.38%
RICHARD G LUPTON 5038 20.74%
BILL SMITH 4992 20.56%
MICHAEL J. LAMPIGNANO 3625 14.93%
Write-In 37 0.15%

DIRECTOR - BALDY MESA WATER DISTRICT
Vote For 3 11 of 11 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
NORMAN W. NICHOLS 1415 24.49%
ROBERT C ALMOND 1099 19.02%
NORMAN MILLER 1072 18.55%
JAN O'NEIL 980 16.96%
MARLENE E. EAST 971 16.81%
Write-In 241 4.17%

DIRECTOR - BEAUMONT-CHERRY VALLEY WATER DIV 5
Vote For 1 1 of 1 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
W. DAVE ANDREWS 2 100.00%
BLAIR M. BALL 0 0.00%
Write-In 0 0.00%

DIRECTOR - INDIAN WELLS VALLEY WATER DISTRICT
Vote For 2 2 of 2 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
JOSEPH MALLORY 2 50.00%
PETER E. BROWN 1 25.00%
HAROLD W. MANNING 1 25.00%
Write-In 0 0.00%

DIRECTOR - YUCAIPA VALLEY WATER DISTRICT DIV 3
Vote For 1 13 of 13 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
JAY S BOGH 1424 65.93%
W. RICK NICHOL 730 33.80%
Write-In 6 0.28%

DIRECTOR - MOHAVE WATER AGENCY DIV 2
Vote For 1 36 of 36 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
JIM VENTURA 5378 58.42%
JERRY HANSON 3790 41.17%
Write-In 38 0.41%

DIRECTOR - MOHAVE WATER AGENCY DIV 4
Vote For 1 33 of 33 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
MICHAEL ''MIKE'' PAGE 4185 54.91%
SCOTT L. DUNCAN 3412 44.77%
Write-In 25 0.33%

DIRECTOR - MOHAVE WATER AGENCY DIV 6
Vote For 1 43 of 43 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
BEVERLY J. LOWRY 4222 73.64%
JOHN A. BASCOM 1481 25.83%
Write-In 30 0.52%

DIRECTOR - BEAR VALLEY COMMUNITY HEALTH CARE DIST
Vote For 2 16 of 16 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
KATHARINE BAUCH 2071 30.24%
BILL SPEYERS 1959 28.60%
JERRY LEMKE 1355 19.78%
OTTO J. LACAYO 1034 15.10%
ROGER J. MANNEX 420 6.13%
Write-In 10 0.15%

DIRECTOR - EAST KERN HEALTH CARE DISTRICT
Vote For 2 1 of 1 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
W. E. (BILL) SEIBERT 4 57.14%
LOREN W. BURCH 2 28.57%
PATRICIA A. MARQUEZ 1 14.29%
Write-In 0 0.00%

DIRECTOR - SAN BERNARDINO MTNS COMM HEALTH CARE
Vote For 3 14 of 14 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
CANDIDATE VOTES PERCENT
KIETH J. BURKART 2676 29.17%
DAVID M. STERN 2347 25.59%
JOYCE WELTON 2299 25.06%
BRUCE FIELD 1843 20.09%
Write-In 8 0.09%

PROP 1A - TRANSPORTATION FUNDING PROTECTION
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
VOTES PERCENT
YES 210804 78.69%
NO 57093 21.31%

PROP 1B - HWY SAFETY/TRAFFIC REDUCE/PORT SECURITY
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
VOTES PERCENT
YES 159462 59.52%
NO 108456 40.48%

PROP 1C - HOUSING & EMERGENCY SHELTER TRUST ACT
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
VOTES PERCENT
YES 144284 53.99%
NO 122935 46.01%

PROP 1D - PUBLIC EDUCATION FACILITIES BOND
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
VOTES PERCENT
YES 140852 52.70%
NO 126412 47.30%

PROP 1E - DISASTER PREPAREDNESS/FLOOD PREVENTION
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
VOTES PERCENT
YES 154767 58.25%
NO 110934 41.75%

PROP 83 - SEX OFFENDERS/RESIDENCE RESTRICTIONS
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
VOTES PERCENT
YES 209325 77.27%
NO 61573 22.73%

PROP 84 - WATER, FLOOD CONTROL, PARK BOND
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
VOTES PERCENT
NO 138247 51.98%
YES 127720 48.02%

PROP 85 - WAITING PERIOD/PARENTAL NOTIFICATION
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
VOTES PERCENT
YES 151623 56.22%
NO 118080 43.78%

PROP 86 - CIGARETTES TAX INITIATIVE
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
VOTES PERCENT
NO 160322 58.87%
YES 112003 41.13%

PROP 87 - ALTERNATIVE ENERGY, OIL PRODUCER TAX
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
VOTES PERCENT
NO 171729 63.22%
YES 99919 36.78%

PROP 88 - EDUCATION FUNDING, PROPERTY TAX
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
VOTES PERCENT
NO 214447 80.11%
YES 53232 19.89%

PROP 89 - POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS INITIATIVE
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
VOTES PERCENT
NO 218544 82.06%
YES 47786 17.94%

PROP 90 - GOVT ACQUISITION/REGULATION OF PROPERTY
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
VOTES PERCENT
YES 139803 52.64%
NO 125789 47.36%

MEASURE X - VICTOR VALLEY COMMUNITY COLLEGE BOND
Vote For 1 177 of 177 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
DECISION VOTES PERCENT
BONDS YES 25972 52.48%
BONDS NO 23522 47.52%

MEASURE L - CENTRAL SCHOOL DISTRICT BOND
Vote For 1 19 of 19 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
DECISION VOTES PERCENT
BONDS YES 3974 64.90%
BONDS NO 2149 35.10%

MEASURE O - EMINENT DOMAIN
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
DECISION VOTES PERCENT
YES 175961 67.69%
NO 83995 32.31%

MEASURE P - TERM LIMITS
Vote For 1 975 of 975 Precincts Reporting (View Map)
DECISION VOTES PERCENT
YES 145048 56.35%
NO 112338 43.65%

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Why I didn't vote for Paul Vincent Avila for Ontario (California) City Council, Part Two

2006-11-07T17:13:00.000-08:00

"Flush away Super Wal-Mart's proposal near 5th and Mountain Avenue's site. Recognize the neighborhood's exclamations of No means No!"

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Hablaba Voting, and My Voting

2006-11-07T17:10:00.000-08:00

From the Hablaba blog:

I did the whole touchscreen voting thing today, which makes me a bit nervous. Sure, the paper printout that I didn't get to keep matched what I pressed, but I don't know what was transmitted where.

Like it matters around here, anyway. I wonder if Vegas puts odds on California election results. If so, I'm going out there next year and betting since I know how it's going to turn out.

For the record, my paper matched my electronic. Coolness.

Regarding my actual votes, I will note that I voted for two people that have been characterized as "too extreme" for California. The two? Lieutenant Governor candidate Tom McClintock and Attorney General candidate Jerry Brown.

And yes, I voted for Tony Ballardo.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Preparing for 2006 Election Results

2006-11-07T17:04:00.000-08:00

My del.icio.us tag for 2006 election results is election+results+200611.

The weirdest story so far is from Kentucky:

A poll worker was arrested Tuesday and charged with assault and interfering with an election for allegedly choking a voter and pushing him out the door, officials said.

It apparently started as a dispute between the two over marking the ballot....

The voter told poll worker Jeffery Steitz that he didn't want to vote in a judicial election because he didn't know enough about the candidates, but Steitz told him he had to vote in the race anyway, Yates said.

Huh?

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Like the F B I and the C I A and the B B C B B King and Doris Day Matt Busby

2006-11-06T12:40:00.000-08:00

Yes, the title is relevant (sortt off).

ggwfung links to a blog post by Muhammad Saleem that labels Digg's revised front page appearance system as socialist.

The Digg economy is the reward system for the users who contribute to the website by submitting content. This ultimate reward is the glory by way of user rankings, calculated as a function of total stories submitted by a user that made it to the front-page.

Keeping this economy in mind, you could say that the recent algorithm ‘upgrade’ at Digg is actually a shift from a capitalist free market state, to a socialist state of equality.

Prior to this change, the Digg economy was a capitalistic one. One that emphasized fairness and allowed each individual user to create his own fate. Under this system, each user was rewarded appropriately, based on their level of contribution to the system. This economy has now become a socialistic one (not to be confused with communistic economies), which emphasizes equality over fairness....

Rather than rewarding good contributors based on monitorable past actions, Digg actually penalizes them. The more front-page stories you get, the harder it is to make it to the front-page. This is the equivalent of saying that if one farmer consistently puts in more effort, rather than letting him keep his fair share of more produce, we should create a mechanism which makes sure that the harder the farmer works, the harder it should be for him to produce better results (poisoning the land?).

So, on November 6, 2006 at 12:37 pm, I visited the Digg community, and after this visit, I now doubt that we can survive as a free society under our current networking model. Um...not really. This is that Digg said:

Once a story is submitted by a user it is instantly posted in the Upcoming stories section. This is a temporary holding place where stories wait to be promoted to the homepage. To help promote stories to the homepage, simply visit the Upcoming stories section and digg stories you think are cool. Once a story has received enough diggs, it is instantly promoted. Should the story not receive enough diggs, surpass 24 hours, or is reported, it eventually falls out of the Upcoming stories section. Digg works because a large group of people actively digg (promote) good stories and report (remove bad stories). Since digg's content is user-driven, it is up to YOU to contribute.

For the record, Digg's top users are here.

Next, we reveal the Google ranking algorithm...not.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Ethnic music for gamblers, or ethnic cleaning for infidels? A belated update on the Annie Jacobsen story

2006-11-06T11:53:00.000-08:00

You may remember the Annie Jacobsen story - how a Womens Wall Street reporter boarded a plane, was convinced that she was surrounded by terrorists. The introduction to the article will cause you to hide under your plastic bag:

On June 29, 2004, at 12:28 p.m., I flew on Northwest Airlines flight #327 from Detroit to Los Angeles with my husband and our young son. Also on our flight were 14 Middle Eastern men between the ages of approximately 20 and 50 years old. What I experienced during that flight has caused me to question whether the United States of America can realistically uphold the civil liberties of every individual, even non-citizens, and protect its citizens from terrorist threats.

Then, subsequent reports indicated that the "terrorists" were Nour Mehana and his band, on their way to play at a California casino. In the meantime, however, Jacobsen wrote a whole series, complete with escalating tension, fear, and danger. Here's a sample from part four in the series:

On Monday night I appeared on MSNBC's Scarborough Country, discussing flight 327 alongside Bob Flamm, Executive Director of the Federal Air Marshals Association (FAMA), and Steven Emerson, who is considered one of America's leading authorities on terrorism. Here's what Emerson had to say to host Joe Scarborough about the flight and the ensuing investigation:

"Look, Joe, the fact of the matter is that this is a major embarrassment. These are Syrian nationals, who are on a country, one of the seven countries that officially supports terrorism. They were out of status.

"And then when they landed at the airport in Los Angeles, nobody interrogated them. They were allowed to leave as if they were just American citizens or they were foreigners coming from Europe. The reality is, this is a scandal that really needs to be investigated. And I can tell you, having spoken to FBI agents in the field, they are telling me, go get them. Because, Joe, this needs to be exposed. Because headquarters is trying to basically pretend it wasn't a scandal." (Clarification: Emerson uses the word "interrogated." Keep in mind there's a difference between being questioned and being interrogated. The men were stopped and they were questioned, but they were not interrogated).

I even wrote a parody of the whole affair.

As we sat waiting for the waitress to take our drink order, we noticed another large group of Finnish men entering. The first man wore a dark suit and sunglasses. He sat at table 1. The other seven men were seated at other tables. As "aware" Americans, my wife and I exchanged glances, and then continued to get comfortable. I noticed some of the other diners paying attention to the situation as well. As seating continued, we watched as, one by one, most of the Finnish men made eye contact with each other. They continued to look at each other and nod, as if they were all in agreement about something. I could tell that my wife was beginning to feel "anxious."

Once we ordered our iced teas and club sodas, the unusual activity began. I overheard someone asking for a tuna fish pizza....

Well, I haven't kept up with this story, but it turns out that Annie Jacobsen wrote a book on the whole affair - Terror in the Skies: Why 9/11 Could Happen Again.

The book clearly addressed the needs of its audience - according to the statistics displayed at the amazon.com web page, a whopping 89% of the people who view the page end up buying the book.

Reactions to the book are...um...mixed:

it never happened, April 28, 2006

Reviewer: Decius (oakland, ca United States) - See all my reviews

This event never happened. It is just a gimmick to sell books. Don't waste your money.

Either Decius chose poor wording, or he really believes that Jacobsen never boarded a plane in the first place.

On the other end of the spectrum:

Take a stand of your own, August 30, 2006

Reviewer: Mrs. BJ Day "AndesOwl" (Glendale, AZ USA) - See all my reviews

An eye-opener and in view of recent events in the UK, what Annie Jacobsen has to say is fair warning to all air travellers, despite the dismissive accounts of some readers (who, I feel, could well be trying to defend their own lack of common sense).

It may be politically incorrect to stigmatise a cast or creed, but in view of the radical Islamic jehadists stance against the west and what they have already done, it seems only common sense to avoid any flights that might carry such personages.

Personally, I won't take the risk in future and will be eyeing my fellow passengers very carefully. If I suspect anything might be wrong, I'll ask to be put on another flight. Maybe, if others do the same, the Airlines might begin to do something to protect their passengers, such as recommending "some" people fly Arab Airways instead.

Thank you for your courage and writing this book Annie. It's a book that everyone should read.

This one is interesting - it even uses my favorite F-word:

More than just vanity... poor logic from a paranoid mind, December 16, 2005

Reviewer: S. Koterbay "Professor of Art History" (Johnson City, TN USA) - See all my reviews

I keep hoping for the day when people of little brain but vast imaginations are told that their over-excited fantasies are just that, fantasies. Anyone who has followed the shrill and stupid rantings of this woman after her "discovery" of a plot to blow up her plane, and all the "secret" information that she feels she can "confide" with us, needs to begin to take a stand: either you truly are against terrorism, and can think clearly about it (as do many other people who write much better books), or you are with idiots like this, who write something that shouldn't even be in the science fiction section of Wal-Mart. Let's hope most people begin to think intelligence wins over deranged illusions.

And, on a recent note, I thought that I'd add to this review (August 12, 2006) by stating that a number of people have emailed me asking me to rescind this review, or telling me what they think of it. Yeah, like I'm going to give in to you Republican fascists.

Meanwhile, what of Nour Mehana? He's apparently released a new album in 2005, with the title Layaly Hobak.

And the Sycuan Resort isn't bothering to update its events calendar.

And snopes.com has stated the following about expired visas, for what it's worth:

Much has been made of the discovery that the Syrian musicians were supposedly traveling on "expired visas." This claim stems from a misunderstanding of what the expiry date on a U.S. visa signifies.

The expiry date indicates the date after which that visa may no longer be used to travel to the U.S. A valid visa does not in itself grant the holder the right to enter the U.S., but merely authorizes the holder to seek permission to enter the country from a U.S. immigration officer. Only that officer can approve or deny entry, and it is that officer who will inscribe on that visitor's I-94 Arrival-Departure Record the date by which the traveler must leave the country. The same visa can be used by its rightful holder on multiple occasions (as in the case of someone who travels frequently), but each entry has to be approved by an immigration officer who will on each occasion make a determination as to when that visitor must leave.

Once the foreign traveler is in the U.S., the expiry date of his visa becomes unimportant — all that matters is the exit date listed on that person's I-94, a card he carries with his passport while in the U.S. While it is true that an expired visa cannot be used to re-enter the U.S. (its holder must reapply or seek an extension), there is nothing wrong in and of itself with being in the U.S. past the expiry date listed on one's visa.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Presidential Medal of Freedom

2006-11-03T12:05:00.000-08:00

I now have a del.icio.us account. So far, it's been better than other shared bookmarking methods that I've used, and it also lets me get familiar with tagging (without having to report to the police station afterwards).

So what do I use it for? Whatever.

But it's educational. I knew that the Presidential Medal of Freedom had been given to Henry Kissinger (by Gerald Ford), but I did not know that Ford himself had subsequently received the Presidential Medal of Freedom (from Bill Clinton).

Other recipients are diverse, including Johnny Carson, Fred Rogers (Mister Rogers), and Robert Kahn and Vint Cerf.

More:

The Presidential Medal of Freedom is one of the two highest civilian awards in the United States, considered the equivalent of the Congressional Gold Medal of Honor. It is designed to recognize individuals who have made "an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors."

It was established by President Harry Truman in 1945 to honor service during World War II. President John F. Kennedy revived the medal in 1963 through Executive Order 11085, and expanded its purpose....

Recipients are selected by the President, either on his/her initiative or based on recommendations. The order reviving the medal also expanded the size and the responsibilities of the Distinguished Civilian Service Awards Board so it would serve as a major source of such recommendations.

The medal can be awarded to an individual more than once (for example John Kenneth Galbraith and after him, Colin Powell), and may also be awarded posthumously (for example John F. Kennedy himself).

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Debbie Acker's endorsement for Ontario City Council

2006-10-31T12:19:00.000-08:00

No, Acker is not endorsing Sam Crowe for Council (I speak, of course, of Sam Crowe Ontario). She endorses another candidate:

Name: Tony Ballardo

Occupation: Retired law enforcement officer, adjunct college professor

Family: Two adult children

Age: 62

Education: Associate degree from Cerritos Community College; bachelor's degree from Cal State Fullerton

Political experience: None

Membership in local organizations: American Legion

Key endorsements: Former Ontario Councilwoman Debbie Acker

Statement: I feel the present council looks after special interest groups and not the constituents of Ontario.

Acker has endorsed Ballardo in the past - specifically, 2004. Here's what David Kocot has to say about Ballardo and other candidates from that election year:

State Assembly, 61st District

Ah, my old district. I'd rather cut my own throat than vote for the crookedest politician in the country, Alan Wapner. I'll also never forgive him for hitting on my 'ex'. Gloria Negrete McLeod beat me for this seat in 2000; she seemed nice, but I can't for the life of me find a reason to vote for her.

Board of Supervisors, District #4

Sadly, Gary Ovitt is the second crookedest politician in the country. Why do all the crooks come from my city? Oh well. I don't know anything more than the basics about Eunice and Maurice, but either of them would be better than Ovitt.

Ontario City Council

I stopped reading newspapers and attending city council meetings a while back, so I'm not informed enough to make an informed decision, but I do know that Paul Leon is the third crookedest politician in the nation, and this Jason Anderson character seems to be backed by the "good 'ole boys" network in the county. Anyone who has Debbie Acker's endorsement, however, can't be too bad, so I might vote for this Tony Ballardo guy and Debra Dorst-Porada (who I used to talk to every now and then at city council meetings and seemed OK)

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

And there are other candidates

2006-10-31T12:01:00.000-08:00

As you know, I've written a bit about Sam Crowe Ontario (as opposed to Sam Crowe Bird Dude), who is mounting a Sam Crowe for Council campaign.

There are other candidates, and they all had a gabfest not too long ago.

Police and economic development were on the minds of the six City Council candidates who spoke at a pre-election forum Thursday night....

The subjects of discussion ranged from hot topics in the community - such as the contentious Wal-Mart proposal and the sports arena - as well as tried-and-true issues of public safety and schools....

Each candidate at the forum reiterated his or her support for the police and fire departments, and several suggested the city needs more police officers, though a recently completed study by an outside consulting firm found Ontario could improve public safety without hiring more officers.

"I remember when it was safe to walk in our streets and play in our parks," said candidate Josie Estrada. "I am tired of hearing promises from the politicians about what they're going to do about it."

Several candidates said they opposed the Wal-Mart Supercenter proposed for Mountain Avenue near Fifth Street, while others offered a more nuanced position on the project.

"We as a city need to use whatever authority we have to mitigate the impact of any development, whether it's a Sears, Nordstrom, or in this case, a Wal-Mart," said Gabe Chavez, who until this month was a city planning commissioner.

Similarly, the planned Citizens Business Bank Arena drew ire from several candidates, who said Ontario should not sink $55 million into building such a facility in the face of lukewarm public support.

"I've been involved with sports arenas in my practice for many, many years," said candidate Sam Crowe, a former councilman and city attorney. "None of them make money. The ones that do, they go back to the city and say, We're making some money, and we're going to leave if you don't give us more money.'"

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

It's October 31, and You Know What That Means

2006-10-31T11:48:00.000-08:00

From spurgeon.org:

Disputation on the Power and Efficacy of Indulgences Commonly Known as The 95 Theses
by Dr. Martin Luther

Out of love and concern for the truth, and with the object of eliciting it, the following heads will be the subject of a public discussion at Wittenberg under the presidency of the reverend father, Martin Luther, Augustinian, Master of Arts and Sacred Theology, and duly appointed Lecturer on these subjects in that place. He requests that whoever cannot be present personally to debate the matter orally will do so in absence in writing.

1. When our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ, said "Repent", He called for the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.

2. The word cannot be properly understood as referring to the sacrament of penance, i.e. confession and satisfaction, as administered by the clergy.

3. Yet its meaning is not restricted to repentance in one's heart; for such repentance is null unless it produces outward signs in various mortifications of the flesh.

4. As long as hatred of self abides (i.e. true inward repentance) the penalty of sin abides, viz., until we enter the kingdom of heaven.

5. The pope has neither the will nor the power to remit any penalties beyond those imposed either at his own discretion or by canon law.

6. The pope himself cannot remit guilt, but only declare and confirm that it has been remitted by God; or, at most, he can remit it in cases reserved to his discretion. Except for these cases, the guilt remains untouched.

7. God never remits guilt to anyone without, at the same time, making him humbly submissive to the priest, His representative.

8. The penitential canons apply only to men who are still alive, and, according to the canons themselves, none applies to the dead.

9. Accordingly, the Holy Spirit, acting in the person of the pope, manifests grace to us, by the fact that the papal regulations always cease to apply at death, or in any hard case.

10. It is a wrongful act, due to ignorance, when priests retain the canonical penalties on the dead in purgatory.

11. When canonical penalties were changed and made to apply to purgatory, surely it would seem that tares were sown while the bishops were asleep.

12. In former days, the canonical penalties were imposed, not after, but before absolution was pronounced; and were intended to be tests of true contrition.

13. Death puts an end to all the claims of the Church; even the dying are already dead to the canon laws, and are no longer bound by them.

14. Defective piety or love in a dying person is necessarily accompanied by great fear, which is greatest where the piety or love is least.

15. This fear or horror is sufficient in itself, whatever else might be said, to constitute the pain of purgatory, since it approaches very closely to the horror of despair.

16. There seems to be the same difference between hell, purgatory, and heaven as between despair, uncertainty, and assurance.

17. Of a truth, the pains of souls in purgatory ought to be abated, and charity ought to be proportionately increased.

18. Moreover, it does not seem proved, on any grounds of reason or Scripture, that these souls are outside the state of merit, or unable to grow in grace.

19. Nor does it seem proved to be always the case that they are certain and assured of salvation, even if we are very certain ourselves.

20. Therefore the pope, in speaking of the plenary remission of all penalties, does not mean "all" in the strict sense, but only those imposed by himself.

21. Hence those who preach indulgences are in error when they say that a man is absolved and saved from every penalty by the pope's indulgences.

22. Indeed, he cannot remit to souls in purgatory any penalty which canon law declares should be suffered in the present life.

23. If plenary remission could be granted to anyone at all, it would be only in the cases of the most perfect, i.e. to very few.

24. It must therefore be the case that the major part of the people are deceived by that indiscriminate and high-sounding promise of relief from penalty.

25. The same power as the pope exercises in general over purgatory is exercised in particular by every single bishop in his bishopric and priest in his parish.

26. The pope does excellently when he grants remission to the souls in purgatory on account of intercessions made on their behalf, and not by the power of the keys (which he cannot exercise for them).

27. There is no divine authority for preaching that the soul flies out of the purgatory immediately the money clinks in the bottom of the chest.

28. It is certainly possible that when the money clinks in the bottom of the chest avarice and greed increase; but when the church offers intercession, all depends in the will of God.

29. Who knows whether all souls in purgatory wish to be redeemed in view of what is said of St. Severinus and St. Pascal? (Note: Paschal I, pope 817-24. The legend is that he and Severinus were willing to endure the pains of purgatory for the benefit of the faithful).

30. No one is sure of the reality of his own contrition, much less of receiving plenary forgiveness.

31. One who bona fide buys indulgence is a rare as a bona fide penitent man, i.e. very rare indeed.

32. All those who believe themselves certain of their own salvation by means of letters of indulgence, will be eternally damned, together with their teachers.

33. We should be most carefully on our guard against those who say that the papal indulgences are an inestimable divine gift, and that a man is reconciled to God by them.

34. For the grace conveyed by these indulgences relates simply to the penalties of the sacramental "satisfactions" decreed merely by man.

35. It is not in accordance with Christian doctrines to preach and teach that those who buy off souls, or purchase confessional licenses, have no need to repent of their own sins.

36. Any Christian whatsoever, who is truly repentant, enjoys plenary remission from penalty and guilt, and this is given him without letters of indulgence.

37. Any true Christian whatsoever, living or dead, participates in all the benefits of Christ and the Church; and this participation is granted to him by God without letters of indulgence.

38. Yet the pope's remission and dispensation are in no way to be despised, for, as already said, they proclaim the divine remission.

39. It is very difficult, even for the most learned theologians, to extol to the people the great bounty contained in the indulgences, while, at the same time, praising contrition as a virtue.

40. A truly contrite sinner seeks out, and loves to pay, the penalties of his sins; whereas the very multitude of indulgences dulls men's consciences, and tends to make them hate the penalties.

41. Papal indulgences should only be preached with caution, lest people gain a wrong understanding, and think that they are preferable to other good works: those of love.

42. Christians should be taught that the pope does not at all intend that the purchase of indulgences should be understood as at all comparable with the works of mercy.

43. Christians should be taught that one who gives to the poor, or lends to the needy, does a better action than if he purchases indulgences.

44. Because, by works of love, love grows and a man becomes a better man; whereas, by indulgences, he does not become a better man, but only escapes certain penalties.

45. Christians should be taught that he who sees a needy person, but passes him by although he gives money for indulgences, gains no benefit from the pope's pardon, but only incurs the wrath of God.

46. Christians should be taught that, unless they have more than they need, they are bound to retain what is only necessary for the upkeep of their home, and should in no way squander it on indulgences.

47. Christians should be taught that they purchase indulgences voluntarily, and are not under obligation to do so.

48. Christians should be taught that, in granting indulgences, the pope has more need, and more desire, for devout prayer on his own behalf than for ready money.

49. Christians should be taught that the pope's indulgences are useful only if one does not rely on them, but most harmful if one loses the fear of God through them.

50. Christians should be taught that, if the pope knew the exactions of the indulgence-preachers, he would rather the church of St. Peter were reduced to ashes than be built with the skin, flesh, and bones of the sheep.

51. Christians should be taught that the pope would be willing, as he ought if necessity should arise, to sell the church of St. Peter, and give, too, his own money to many of those from whom the pardon-merchants conjure money.

52. It is vain to rely on salvation by letters of indulgence, even if the commissary, or indeed the pope himself, were to pledge his own soul for their validity.

53. Those are enemies of Christ and the pope who forbid the word of God to be preached at all in some churches, in order that indulgences may be preached in others.

54. The word of God suffers injury if, in the same sermon, an equal or longer time is devoted to indulgences than to that word.

55. The pope cannot help taking the view that if indulgences (very small matters) are celebrated by one bell, one pageant, or one ceremony, the gospel (a very great matter) should be preached to the accompaniment of a hundred bells, a hundred processions, a hundred ceremonies.

56. The treasures of the church, out of which the pope dispenses indulgences, are not sufficiently spoken of or known among the people of Christ.

57. That these treasures are not temporal are clear from the fact that many of the merchants do not grant them freely, but only collect them.

58. Nor are they the merits of Christ and the saints, because, even apart from the pope, these merits are always working grace in the inner man, and working the cross, death, and hell in the outer man.

59. St. Laurence said that the poor were the treasures of the church, but he used the term in accordance with the custom of his own time.

60. We do not speak rashly in saying that the treasures of the church are the keys of the church, and are bestowed by the merits of Christ.

61. For it is clear that the power of the pope suffices, by itself, for the remission of penalties and reserved cases.

62. The true treasure of the church is the Holy gospel of the glory and the grace of God.

63. It is right to regard this treasure as most odious, for it makes the first to be the last.

64. On the other hand, the treasure of indulgences is most acceptable, for it makes the last to be the first.

65. Therefore the treasures of the gospel are nets which, in former times, they used to fish for men of wealth.

66. The treasures of the indulgences are the nets to-day which they use to fish for men of wealth.

67. The indulgences, which the merchants extol as the greatest of favours, are seen to be, in fact, a favourite means for money-getting.

68. Nevertheless, they are not to be compared with the grace of God and the compassion shown in the Cross.

69. Bishops and curates, in duty bound, must receive the commissaries of the papal indulgences with all reverence.

70. But they are under a much greater obligation to watch closely and attend carefully lest these men preach their own fancies instead of what the pope commissioned.

71. Let him be anathema and accursed who denies the apostolic character of the indulgences.

72. On the other hand, let him be blessed who is on his guard against the wantonness and license of the pardon-merchant's words.

73. In the same way, the pope rightly excommunicates those who make any plans to the detriment of the trade in indulgences.

74. It is much more in keeping with his views to excommunicate those who use the pretext of indulgences to plot anything to the detriment of holy love and truth.

75. It is foolish to think that papal indulgences have so much power that they can absolve a man even if he has done the impossible and violated the mother of God.

76. We assert the contrary, and say that the pope's pardons are not able to remove the least venial of sins as far as their guilt is concerned.

77. When it is said that not even St. Peter, if he were now pope, could grant a greater grace, it is blasphemy against St. Peter and the pope.

78. We assert the contrary, and say that he, and any pope whatever, possesses greater graces, viz., the gospel, spiritual powers, gifts of healing, etc., as is declared in I Corinthians 12 [:28].

79. It is blasphemy to say that the insignia of the cross with the papal arms are of equal value to the cross on which Christ died.

80. The bishops, curates, and theologians, who permit assertions of that kind to be made to the people without let or hindrance, will have to answer for it.

81. This unbridled preaching of indulgences makes it difficult for learned men to guard the respect due to the pope against false accusations, or at least from the keen criticisms of the laity.

82. They ask, e.g.: Why does not the pope liberate everyone from purgatory for the sake of love (a most holy thing) and because of the supreme necessity of their souls? This would be morally the best of all reasons. Meanwhile he redeems innumerable souls for money, a most perishable thing, with which to build St. Peter's church, a very minor purpose.

83. Again: Why should funeral and anniversary masses for the dead continue to be said? And why does not the pope repay, or permit to be repaid, the benefactions instituted for these purposes, since it is wrong to pray for those souls who are now redeemed?

84. Again: Surely this is a new sort of compassion, on the part of God and the pope, when an impious man, an enemy of God, is allowed to pay money to redeem a devout soul, a friend of God; while yet that devout and beloved soul is not allowed to be redeemed without payment, for love's sake, and just because of its need of redemption.

85. Again: Why are the penitential canon laws, which in fact, if not in practice, have long been obsolete and dead in themselves,—why are they, to-day, still used in imposing fines in money, through the granting of indulgences, as if all the penitential canons were fully operative?

86. Again: since the pope's income to-day is larger than that of the wealthiest of wealthy men, why does he not build this one church of St. Peter with his own money, rather than with the money of indigent believers?

87. Again: What does the pope remit or dispense to people who, by their perfect repentance, have a right to plenary remission or dispensation?

88. Again: Surely a greater good could be done to the church if the pope were to bestow these remissions and dispensations, not once, as now, but a hundred times a day, for the benefit of any believer whatever.

89. What the pope seeks by indulgences is not money, but rather the salvation of souls; why then does he suspend the letters and indulgences formerly conceded, and still as efficacious as ever?

90. These questions are serious matters of conscience to the laity. To suppress them by force alone, and not to refute them by giving reasons, is to expose the church and the pope to the ridicule of their enemies, and to make Christian people unhappy.

91. If therefore, indulgences were preached in accordance with the spirit and mind of the pope, all these difficulties would be easily overcome, and indeed, cease to exist.

92. Away, then, with those prophets who say to Christ's people, "Peace, peace," where in there is no peace.

93. Hail, hail to all those prophets who say to Christ's people, "The cross, the cross," where there is no cross.

94. Christians should be exhorted to be zealous to follow Christ, their Head, through penalties, deaths, and hells.

95. And let them thus be more confident of entering heaven through many tribulations rather than through a false assurance of peace.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

How to Choose Candidates in an Election

2006-10-30T17:22:00.000-08:00

I just wrote this in response to an Annika post.

(1) Unless there's some absolutely pressing need, don't vote for incumbents. They have to earn their keep, and normally they don't.

(2) Whoever strikes with the first negative ad loses. If you're getting enough money to air negative ads, then someone's funding you who probably doesn't have my best interests in mind.

(3) Don't be afraid to write in candidates that you like (Deborah Acker, here we come). It won't make a difference, but you'll feel better.

Regarding Acker, see my posts on 5/16/2005, 6/5/2005, 6/7/2005, and 6/8/2005.

This is probably as good a time as any to note that if you know my Ontario Emperor e-mail account, don't pat yourself on the back. I hardly ever check it. This message is for you, Sam Crowe.

Volume 1 September 26, 2006

Sam Crowe Announces His Candidacy

Former Ontario Councilman and City Attorney, Sam Crowe has announced his candidacy for City Council in November's election. "I'm running for Ontario City Council in order to restore the public's confidence in the Council, and to refocus the priorities of the City," announced Crowe.

"It's time we focused on quality-of-life issues in Ontario, like traffic congestion, faster emergency response times, a new hospital and solving our homeless problems. I also think we need a limit on campaign contributions to reduce the influence of special interests on the priorities of the City Council," said Crowe.

"As a resident of this community for over 50 years, I believe I understand the needs and the desires of our residents. I have served on the Planning Commission and the City Council. For nearly 20 years, I was the City Attorney. I played a significant role in the expansion of the Airport, development of Ontario Mills and the creation of our successful auto dealerships. The revenue those projects brought to the City have enabled us to prosper without tax increases. I'm proud of those achievements."

Crowe has been endorsed by hundreds of Ontario residents. In addition organizations representing working families in Ontario have endorsed Crowe's election, including the Central Labor Council AFL-CIO, Operating Engineers and Teamsters. Additionally, Sam has many supporters in the Fire Department, on the Police Force, in the Business Community and in the Teaching Profession that endorse him as well.

This is the first of a series of Newsletters you will receive from Friends of Sam Crowe. They are designed to keep you informed about the race for two open seats on the Ontario City Council.

We will send these Newsletters on a regular basis (about three times a month) to keep you informed about Sam's campaign until the election in November. After the election, Sam plans to write three or four issues a year because it is so difficult to get certain types of accurate and truthful information from the City without filing a lawsuit.

See Sam's plan for the community, read his ballot statement, and review a list of endorsements, all at the croweforcouncil.com web site.
Volume 2 October 10, 2006

Sam Crowe speaks out regarding vital Ontario issues

The process of informing residents of issues facing our City needs to be improved considerably. Backroom deals and favors to developers must go. When major decisions come before City Council, our elected representatives should hold deliberations in public and they should always ask, “How will this decision benefit our residents and how could it possibly hurt our residents and their quality of life?” We need to go back to including the public in the decision making process and do away with private deals, conflicts of interests and special favors to large political campaign contributors.

"I need your support to put the resident’s interests first. Public debate and an open forum should be welcomed, not discouraged."

Let’s join together to insist that all major projects be aired in public well in advance of the Council’s final approval, and in many cases before the Planning Commission makes its recommendation. We also need to put a rein on the City Staff so that they do not place their desire for the economic development of the City before the economic interests of our residents who may be negatively impacted by their decisions.

Many residents feel disenfranchised by city officials because they are often times cut off from speaking at public meetings, and many residents feel that they are discouraged from participating in the democratic process in other ways as well. For example, several years ago the filing fee to run for City Council was approximately $700. Right before this election they more than doubled the fee to a whopping $2,840. It is painfully obvious the City Fathers (and one Mother) are making it a lot more difficult for the average qualified resident to run against them for public office. We must insist they roll this fee back to the more reasonable pre 2006 level.

I need your support to put the resident’s interests first. Public debate and an open forum should be welcomed, not discouraged. I promise, as your representative, to be responsive to your interests and that is why I am running a grass roots, people first, campaign. I have a dedicated and hard working committee of volunteers that I am proud to call my friends. Please see their message below and feel free to contact me at any time. Thanks for your time and I look forward to working with you to make sure Ontario stays a great City.

A message from the Committee to elect Sam Crowe

The Friends of Sam Crowe, is the official name of our committee to elect Sam Crowe. We would like to thank you for the outpouring of support many of you have given to our campaign. It is especially gratifying to see that we are number one on "Google", the world’s premier web site Search Engine. We appear to have been number one since the publication of our first newsletter over a week ago. If you want to see for yourself, type these key words into your Google Search. Enter either, "Sam Crowe Ontario" or "Sam Crowe for Council" and see if we are still at the top of the list.
See this now >

We have web page hits from far away places like Israel, China, France, Germany and a lot of hits from Great Britain and other western European countries. We also have a lot of hits from the United States and presumably from many of you, our Ontario subscribers. Even more important than being number one on Google is being number one on election day. If you can help us you are certainly invited to do so.

To see a more detailed plan for the future of our community, read Sam’s ballot statement, or review his list of endorsements, at the crowe4council.com website. If you would like to be included in Sam’s list of supporters please go to the "Contact Sam" page and fill in the contact form and click "submit." Be sure to include your phone number (so we can verify your request) and in a few days we will include your name along with those of your friends and neighbors. Thanks for looking and more importantly thanks for your vote. We sincerely appreciate your support.
Volume 3 October 17, 2006

Early Voting for Ontario Residents

Early voting has begun for Ontario residents who want to test the new electronic voting machines purchased by San Bernardino County.

Beginning on Monday, October 16th, and running through Thursday, October 19th, residents will be able to vote at the Ontario City Library from 11:00 AM to 6:00 PM. “This is a great opportunity for voters to test drive the future of voting,” said Sam Crowe, candidate for Ontario City Council. “It’s one more way for Ontario residents to participate in selecting City Council members. I’d encourage everyone to try it.”

For those who wish to vote by absentee ballot, a request form can be downloaded by clicking here.

For those who wish to vote at the polls on election day, a list of polling places will be posted on our web site as soon as they are available.

Thank you for your interest.

Sam Crowe
Volume 4 October 26, 2006

A Message from Sam Crowe

My staff of Volunteers at Crowe for Council has compiled a list of items that do not impress them with this campaign. They are not impressed with:

HOLLOW CAMPAIGN PROMISES, GLOSSY RHETORIC AND PHONY PUBLICITY PHOTOS.

COSTLY CAMPAIGNS FINANCED PRIMARILY BY DEVELOPERS, BIG BUSINESS AND OUTSIDE INTERESTS.

CANDIDATES THAT SPEND HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ON FANCY FLYERS, CAMPAIGN ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS, AND HIGH PRICED HIRED CONSULTANTS.

THE WAY THE CURRENT CITY COUNCIL CONDUCTS THE BUSINESS OF OUR CITY.

On the other hand we are impressed with the following:

SMALL DEDICATED GROUPS OF LONG TIME RESIDENTS AND FAMILIES, WHO WORK HARD FOR INTEGRITY AND FAIR REPRESENTATION AT CITY HALL.

INDEPENDENT THINKING CANDIDATES BEHOLDEN ONLY TO THE RESIDENTS AND THEIR INTERESTS.

CANDIDATES THAT HAVE BOTH VISION AND INTEGRITY AND DON'T MAKE HOLLOW PROMISES JUST TO GET ELECTED.

CANDIDATES WITH A PROVEN RECORD OF DEDICATION AND LEADERSHIP.

If you agree with my staff of volunteers please mark your ballot for Sam Crowe, Candidate for Ontario City Council

A Message from the Committee to Elect Sam Crowe (also known as the Friends of Sam Crowe)

We have received two other important endorsements. Sam has been endorsed by the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin in an editorial published October 11, 2006. They also endorsed challenger Jim Bowman over incumbent Alan Wapner. The second important new endorsement is from the Southern California Pipe Trades District Council 16. We received this just a few days ago although the endorsement letter was dated September 21, 2006.

We are still number one on "Google", the world’s premier web site Search Engine. We appear to have been number one since the publication of our first newsletter almost four weeks ago. If you want to see for yourself, type these key words into your Google Search. Enter either, "Sam Crowe Ontario" or "Sam Crowe for Council" and see for yourself.

Thank you for your support. Sam and his Committee appreciate it very much and together we will continue to earn your trust and support by speaking for the common good of the community as a whole.

So I went to Google and tried typing in the name "Sam Crowe," quoted, with no other descriptive information. The first hit was against "Sam Crowe's Arkansas Birding." An English Sam Crowe on MySpace was number 5. croweforcouncil.com was number 6. Ironically, the first listing for the Ontario Sam Crowe wasn't from Crowe for Council, but from The Black Voice News. The post is over a year old and concerned the prior mayoral election:

Sam Crowe for Mayor

Posted on May 24, 2005 - 08:57 AM by blackvoice

On June 7, 2005 the citizens of ontario will go to the polls and cast a vote for the leadership of the city in the position of mayor. This is a special election because the position was vacated when Gary Ovitt became a Supervisor for the County of San Bernardino.

There are two fine people seeking the office, one is Paul Leon currently occupying a seat on the city council and Sam Crowe, Esq., who served on the council from 1964 through 1972 and has served as the city attorney for over thirty years.

I am encouraging the citizens to give their vote to Sam for some of the reasons that have been beneficial to the Black community. When Senator Nell Soto was looking for someone to head up the Inland Empire Small Business Financial Development Corporation that would be inclusive for all ethnic groups she turned to Sam. Sam helped her assemble a diverse group of citizens from across the Inland Empire to charter this business to make loans to small new and old businesses. Mike Teer of Riverside and I were selected to be a part of that group.

When Governor Gray Davis was looking for someone to appoint to the Superior Court in San Bernardino County the name put forth was Katrina West, Esq. of the Covington & Crowe law firm of ontario. Katrina West, an African American, was appointed and currently serves as a Judge. With the rise in diversity it is critical to have leadership that has a proven track record with diverse populations.

Therefore I want you to join with me and endorse Sam Crowe for Mayor of ontario.

You have to get to entry 232 in the search before you see me (namely, the June 2005 archive of this blog). This is what I said. This is what Ontario Emperor said:

I'm no big fan of Crowe....Public financing of elections? Opposition to Wal-Mart (and the implicit endorsement of Stater Brothers, Albertsons, Vons, Ralphs, and all the other companies that have displaced mom and pop shops in the past)? Please.

And here's what a Daily Bulletin letter-writer said:

As an Ontario resident and longtime observer of Ontario politics, I found the Daily Bulletin profiles of Ontario’s two mayoral candidates to be quite telling.

Of particular concern to me was the Sam Crowe piece....

Accusations of overbilling by his law firm and a city audit did reveal discrepancies to the tune of some $500,000-plus a year. According to your article, this was because of a questionable billing system that allowed junior associates to work for the city at the same rate as the senior partners. Not illegal but certainly unethical.

Councilman Jerry DuBois, a current Crowe campaign crony, claims the overbilling was due to a misunderstanding caused by several changes in city managers.

Now doesn’t that raise a whole new batch of questions? Does that mean that Mr. Crowe felt free to overbill with his knowledge of the unstable situation? I had been led to believe it was due to Mr. Crowe’s firm not correctly billing the city. Now Councilman DuBois says it was due to the city not watching the till. Let’s see – inability to adequately manage, or severely ethically challenged? Neither is a trait I’m looking for as my mayor.

For his part, Mr. Crowe does not address the over-billing issue, instead claiming he resigned because of Brown Act violations. Now there’s a campaign statement for you. Does anyone remember him claiming that eight years ago? I sure don’t....

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

More on the IOC decision

2006-10-30T12:34:00.000-08:00

How is the International Olympic Committee's decision to hold the swimming finals in the morning (in an apparent sop to NBC) affecting the athletes?

From Al Jazeera:

The International Olympic Committee's (IOC) decision to hold swimming finals in the morning at the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games to suit US television schedules is unlikely to change Swimming Australia's Olympic trials schedule.

US television rights holder NBC had been lobbying heavily for early finals in Beijing to coincide with prime-time viewing hours in the United States, with many observers feeling the IOC caved to the broadcaster rather than taking athletes' preferences in to consideration.

Alan Thompson, Australian head coach, had anticipated the IOC's decision, but his swimmers are unlikely to have a practice run at the upside-down schedule at their national trials, which normally aim to simulate the Olympic program, reports said.

Glenn Tasker, Swimming Australia chief executive, said he expected opposition from coaches, but could not see how the trials could be run successfully with main events held in non-peak viewing times.

"We have only discussed this informally, but internally our discussions have been, 'If we turn our trials upside down, we will struggle to make them commercially viable'," Tasker told The Melbourne Age on Saturday.

"We swim our trials at the Sydney Olympic Aquatic Centre, which is still the best pool in the world, but when you go to the best pool in the world, you pay a fairly steep price for it.

"If we swam finals at 10 o'clock in the morning, our athletes would be swimming in front of next to no one. There would be no atmosphere, we wouldn't get a gate, so commercially it would hurt us.

"It would hurt the athletes from having no atmosphere. So without finalising our discussions, I would be very loath to change our trials," Tasker added.

Of course, we have to ask - do the Australian officials care about the "atmosphere," or about the gate receipts?

Swim News reports a slightly different story:

Many of the world's top swimmers will rise as early as 4am, train hardest at dawn not dusk, eat three breakfasts a day, skip lunch, have dinner at noon, sleep in recovery suits and spend much of their time in the China time zone in the lead-up to the Beijing Olympics following the International Olympic Committee's decision to switch finals from their traditional evening slot to mornings in the pool in 2008.

Bill Sweetenham, performance director of Britain, assembled a think-tank of coaches, swimmers, sports scientists and support staff at Loughborough, England, on Friday for three days of talks aimed at planning a response to an IOC decision that has incensed the world swimming community.

The outcome of the talks and expert advice from specialists in sleep and diet is likely to be a radical overhaul of training, eating and sleeping regimes, while the domestic race calendar will be turned on its head, with finals held in the morning at "five or six" events, including the national championships, BBC allowing....

[T]he USA has already announced that it is sticking to evening finals for its Olympic trials.

And before one accuses the IOC of being money-grubbing evil people, remember how high minded they are:

The IOC has often declined higher offers for broadcast on a pay-per-view basis or because a broadcaster could reach only a limited part of the population, as this is against Olympic Broadcast Policy. This fundamental IOC Policy, set forth in the Olympic Charter, ensures the maximum presentation of the Olympic Games by broadcasters around the world to everyone who has access to television. Rights are only sold to broadcasters who can guarantee the broadest coverage throughout their respective countries free of charge.

Of course, these free of charge broadcasters can then choose what they want to broadcast. Any attempt by the IOC to demand that international Olympic coverage be - well, international - would immediately be met with replies of censorship.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

Olympic Television Woes Revisited

2006-10-30T12:18:00.000-08:00

And my favorite Olympic network is involved. Here's the story:

The European Broadcasting Union protested the IOC's decision to hold some Olympic swimming and gymnastic finals during the morning at the 2008 Beijing Games.

The International Olympic Committee announced the changes last week in a concession to NBC, but the EBU said the timing of the finals will put them in the middle of the night in Europe. The events will be shown during prime viewing hours in the Americas.

My question on this topic - since when has NBC ever chosen to show a major event live? Does this mean that NBC plans to show these events live on the West Coast? I seriously doubt it; we'll probably get a tape delayed broadcast.

But coverage, live or taped, will not address Dave Taylor's concerns:

Every four years I get to remember why I really hate watching the Olympics on television. It's not about the advertising, it's not even the endless parade of "background" vignettes instead of showing us more events, it's not the non-family-friendly previews for movies and TV dramas slipped into the advertising stream, it's not even the talking heads in their quasi-newsroom sets telling us what we need to know about the day.

No, what drives me completely batty are the commentators....

Last night's coverage of the men's figure skating was a classic example of the terrible pontificating coverage of the Olympics. Russian Yevgeny Plushenko was skating to a well-deserved gold medal and the commentators were busy telling us how he can't "integrate his hand motion with his jumps" and how he has a "dull routine" and how he's "worked since childhood to be here" and on and on.

Then next up was American Johnny Weir, whose father was watching him compete at this level for the first time, "something that's probably causing Weir more anxiety than being here at the Olympics" one of the commentators blithly informed us. How do they know? Why would we care? Did I sign up to get insipid psychological commentary during skating events too?

Oh, how I wish that the commentators could be pushed to a separate audio track, like SAP, so I could turn them off and just watch the skating and listen to the music and the cheers of the crowd!

And for those who have not had the...privilege...to listen to NBC's Olympic coverage, here's part of a parody of the 1996 Olympic coverage.

BOB COSTAS: Good evening, and as you can tell by the sound of the Olympic Theme Song that we play almost as much as we show Kerri Strug's historic vault, it's time for our broadcast of The Recently Videotaped Olympic Games Featuring Americans. We're going to start by taking you right to the track-and-field stadium, where the men's 100-meter dash is about to get underway (despite the fact that it actually happened four hours ago).

TRACK COMMENTATOR: Bob, this promises to be an exciting race, featuring Americans.

COSTAS: And what are the obstacles that these Americans have overcome to create a Human Interest Factor for our broadcast?

TRACK COMMENTATOR: Bob, from left to right, they have overcome psoriasis, vertigo and a bad allergy to vinaigrette dressing.

COSTAS: We'll come back to the men's 100-meter final, but right now we're going to replay the video of Kerri Strug, an American, overcoming her ankle injury to make her courageous vault.

(Kerri Strug vaults.)

COSTAS: What a human moment! Time for a commercial....

COSTAS: We'll have more on that exciting cycling race, but right now we're going to return to the Olympic track stadium for an update on the men's 100-meter dash.

TRACK COMMENTATOR: Bob, the race started about two seconds ago and should be over in about eight more seconds. None of the Americans has fallen down.

COSTAS: We're going to break away from the men's 100-meter dash at this point, but we will be covering it throughout the course of the evening. Right now, however, we want you to see this moment, captured by our NBC cameras.

(Kerri Strug vaults.)

COSTAS: Now let's head out to the pool to check on the progress of the American swimmers, all of whom have overcome asthma.

SWIMMING COMMENTATOR: Bob, here we see an American swimmer winning a race. This happened earlier.

COSTAS: How much earlier?

SWIMMING COMMENTATOR: Twenty-four years, Bob. This is Mark Spitz.

And if you suspect that I'm still P.O.'ed that NBC offered more coverage of Michelle Kwan (who didn't compete in the 2006 Winter Olympics) vs. Kiira Korpi (who did)...well, let's just say I have a long memory.

From the Ontario Empoblog (Latest OVVA news here)

No, this doesn't mean that the Rams will beat the Lions in the Super Bowl - both are NFC teams

2006-10-30T12:06:00.000-08:00

It is an eerie coincidence.

Last week, the St. Louis Cardinals defeated the Detroit Tigers in baseball's World Series.

This week, the city of St. Louis defeated the city of Detroit in the race to be the most dangerous city in the U.S.

Here are the most dangerous cities (with 371 being the worst):

362. Gary, Ind.
363. Youngstown, Ohio
364. Oakland, Calif.
365. Cleveland
366. Birmingham, Ala.
367. Camden, N.J.
368. Compton, Calif.
369. Flint, Mich.
370. Detroit
371. St. Louis

And the safest:

1. Brick, N.J.
2. Amherst, N.Y.
3. Mission Viejo, Calif.
4. Newton, Mass.
5. Troy, Mich.
6. Colonie, N.Y.
7. Irvine, Calif.
8. Cary, N.C.
9. Greece, N.Y.
10. Coral Springs, Fla.

Ontario, California was number 204. Chino Hills was 21, Rancho Cucamonga 62, Chino 88, Fontana 167, Pomona 255. Claremont, Montclair, and Upland were not listed.

Interestingly enough, El Monte was higher than Ontario (163), and Santa Ana was also higher (170). And Berkeley was lower (226).